Heavy In Your Arms
by Sophz456
Summary: "Don't trust anybody in this world. Not even yourself." After escaping Montana, Edward has to deal with all he left behind, and all that's yet to come. Undercover agent AU. EPOV E/B AH. Sequel to Camisado.
1. A Heavy Heart To Carry

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything Twilight. It all belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended, but characterizations, plot lines, backgrounds and details of this story are mine. No copying or reproduction without my permission.

**A/N: **Hey, guys. I won't bore you with explanations of why this is being posted so damn late, because I know you just want to read the chapter, but I will say I'm sorry for the delay. Truly, I am.

As always, a big thanks goes to **JMCullen** for being an amazing wifey, and an even bigger thanks goes to the lovely **V**, for her encouragement and advice and incoherent reactions to the chapter. I love you both so fucking much.

Thanks to those of you who will be reading the sequel – I know I managed to piss most of you off, but Camisado was always going to close that way and it was unavoidable.

A new blog for HIYA is up – the link is on my profile. Once again, I'll be posting teasers as and when I have them written.

Enjoy! xx

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><p><em>Oh! What a tangled web we weave<em>

_When first we practise to deceive!_

~ Sir Walter Scott

Both shattered halves of my heart were pounding.

I couldn't breathe.

My shoulder burned.

I had to keep going.

Every inch of distance I put between myself and Bella pierced my heart even further, but I'd promised her I'd get help and there was no fucking way I was going to break that. I owed her this; my pain was inconsequential, especially when it would result in her being freed from hers.

I could barely see through the tears that were blurring my vision, but was able to make out the final, open doors that led to safety, and pushed forwards with all my might. Every moment's delay could cost Bella and our child their lives, and I refused to let them down. They needed me.

The second I was out in the open, two men rushed to meet me and started to pull me towards a row of Hummers that were guarding the area, but I quickly yanked myself from their grasp.

"Bella-" I gasped breathlessly. "Bella's hurt-"

"Wh-"

"Agent Swan!" I shouted angrily. _Why were they wasting time?_ "We have to go back in there!"

I turned and started to run back towards the doors, expecting them to follow, but instead they body-blocked me.

"Masen, you can't go back in there!"

"Get your fucking hands off me!" I struggled as hard as I could against them, but they were too strong and my shoulder was useless. "Bella needs help!"

"Masen!" A third, dark-haired man rushed towards us, looking panic-stricken. "Where is she?"

"Bottom of the staircase," I forced out, ignoring the harsh pain in my shoulder each time I tried to break free. "She needs help! She said to tell you _code black_."

He froze. "Code_ black?_ Are you sure that's what she said?"

"_Yes! _She told me to tell you exactly that!" I gestured helplessly at the door. "Please. She's pregnant! You need to-"

He closed his eyes. Gave a heavy sigh. "Cuff him."

"_WHAT?"_ Horror flooded through my veins as I realized they were going to abandon her just like they had me, and I knew I had to act fast. I'd only get one shot at this. By some miracle, the guy to my right reached behind him, giving me the only opportunity I needed.

I twisted my arm from his grip and turned to my left, bringing my knee up into the other man's stomach and forcing him to let me go. Before they had the chance to capture me again, I pulled my gun on the three of them and took their momentary shock as a chance to run back towards the entrance to the compound.

Number three quickly caught up with me, though, and tried to block me again.

"Get the fuck out of my way," I snarled, flipping the gun on him.

He held his hands up in surrender. "Masen, you don't want it to go down like this."

"MOVE!"

"It's what Bella wants," he sighed. I shook my head, refusing to believe him. Bella would never do that, not when she knew she was pregnant. She promised me.

"You can lie all you want. Either way, I'm not leaving without her," I told him coldly as I walked backwards, keeping him and all the other fuckers in sight. I didn't trust any of them, and they'd given me no reason to. They'd given up on Bella, just like they'd given up on me, but I refused to let them win, not this time.

"Think about it," Number three said calmly. "If she wanted someone to go back for her, why not tell you to ask us for help instead of giving you a code to say when she knew you wouldn't understand its meaning?"

He was trying to trick me… Trying to make me doubt Bella… It wouldn't work.

"She is _pregnant_ with our child." I kept my gaze fixed on his so he'd know I wasn't going to break down and give in. "She would not put herself or our baby at risk and _lie_ to me like that. She loves me."

"I don't doubt that she does," Number three said softly. "I've known her since she was eighteen years old, and I know that if she loves you as much as she seems to, she _would_ lie to save your life. So please… This is your last warning."

"Fuck you."

Before I even had the chance to move, an unbearable weight forced me to the ground and my arms were twisted behind me at a cripplingly painful angle. I fought as hard as I fucking could, no longer feeling the excruciating pain in my arm as my emotions overrode my body. Bella was everything to me. We were meant to be together; things weren't supposed to be like this. I should have been the one trapped in that hellhole, not her. I needed to get her out. That was all that mattered to me now.

"EMMETT?"

I tried to lift my head at the sound of Rose's voice, but whoever was on top of me forced it against the concrete again. If Emmett was here, he'd help me get to Bella; he was the one who helped her plan this entire thi-

Number three wrapped Rosalie in his arms and kissed the top of her head. "Shhhh, Rosie."

My blood ran cold.

"You son of a bitch!" I writhed beneath the fucker pinning me down as rage and despair gripped me like a vice. "She trusted you! SHE FUCKING TRUSTED YOU!"

"Let him go, Emmett!" Rose pleaded. "Please! Bella's pregnant… You can't leave the baby in there. Em, please!"

I couldn't see what was going on, but suddenly my neck was being exposed and Rosalie's voice became panicked.

"EMMETT, NO! NO! STOP IT! DON'T HURT HIM!"

I knew what was coming. My time was almost up; I only had a few more seconds to act.

Pulling all my remaining strength together, I rolled violently onto my back, forcing the person on top of me onto the ground as I scrambled to my feet and aimed my gun at Rosalie's head.

"I'll kill her!" I yelled, panting from exertion. "I swear to God, I'll do it!"

Everyone stopped breathing, except for Rosalie, who stared at me with a strange expression on her face. She closed her eyes for a moment, and when she reopened them a new fire was blazing inside them.

"Emmett, do as he says," she said softly. "He's not lying."

Wasn't I? Could I really do that? Could I kill someone Bella had risked her life to save?

_If it meant saving our child…_

"You need her," I found myself saying. "If she's dead… You've lost everything."

"Masen…" Emmett said calmly, then cautiously took a step forward, like he was approaching a wild animal. At that moment, I suppose I pretty much was. I was in survival mode, doing anything and everything I could to protect the ones I loved.

"Don't you take another fucking step," I hissed, "unless it's in Bella's direction."

"Okay," he replied, but didn't move towards the doors. Instead, he just shot a meaningful look over my shoulder. I had no idea who it was meant for, but I wasn't taking any chances.

Lunging forwards, I grabbed Rosalie and pulled her back against me, my arm across her shoulders tight enough to restrain her without cutting off her air supply. She gripped hold of my arm with both hands, but instead of resisting me, she pushed it harder against herself.

"Emmett…" she whimpered. "Please…"

"What are you doing?" I whispered lowly.

"Trying to save your baby's life," she replied quietly, "please trust me."

Before I could open my mouth to reply, she stomped down on my foot and screamed, "Now!"

Arms restrained me from behind me as I let Rosalie go in shock, and then something sharp was being stabbed into my neck and everything began to fade…

"_Edward?"_

_Gentle laughs, soft touches._

"_Baby, you need to wake up."_

_Brilliant smiles, swollen belly._

"_I love you."_

_Warm lips, loving kiss._

"_I need you."_

_Cold._

"_Help me."_

_Pain._

"_It hurts… Edward, help me."_

_Panic._

"_Please…"_

_Tears._

"_Don't give up on me…"_

I awoke with a gasp.

"Edwar-"

I reacted to the sudden presence beside me in a second, barely even registering who the voice belonged to until my good hand was wrapped around their throat.

"Stop!" Rosalie choked out, clutching my hand tightly. "Edward, it's me!"

"I know who you fucking are," I spat. "Where's Bella?"

"You're in-…" She struggled to gasp in air as her fingernails dug into my skin. "You're in a medical centre. In Oregon."

"That's not what I asked." I tightened my hold even further, keeping my glare steadily fixed on her. I was vaguely aware of a steady throbbing in my shoulder, and assumed they must have patched me up somehow, but I couldn't have cared less at that moment. "Where's Bella?"

"She's…" Tears flowed freely down her face, but I didn't feel sorry for her. She sold me out after everything Bella and I did for her. I had no time for sympathy. "I can't… Breathe…"

"Did they get her out?" I demanded. She shook her head infinitesimally, and I immediately released her throat as I threw the thin sheets that covered me to the end of the bed and struggled to my feet. "Where are my fucking clothes?"

"Wh-What…" she croaked hoarsely. "What are you doing?"

"What do you think I'm fucking doing?" I spat, looking around the room.

"Edward, you can't lea-"

"Watch me." Giving up on my search for proper clothes, I pulled out the IV needle from the back of my hand and headed for the door, ignoring the ever intensifying pain in my shoulder and aching in my bones.

Before I got the chance to open the door, it swung open, and I was greeted with the concerned face of Emmett. Rage flooded through me as my hands curled into tight fists.

"Get out of the way," I growled.

"Edward…"

"I won't tell you again, asshole."

Emmett sighed. With a quick glance at Rosalie, he slowly stepped aside, freeing the doorway. I moved swiftly past him into the corridor, then froze when I saw the electronic touchpads on the wall beside every door.

"You can't get out," came Emmett's voice from behind me. "Not without an access card."

I closed my eyes, fighting the overwhelming emotions that swelled inside me. I couldn't fail her. I couldn't give up, not after all she had done for me.

"Where's Carlisle?" I managed to grind out calmly. I was clutching at straws, but if there was anybody on this planet capable of getting her back now, it was him.

"I don't think that's-"

"I gave up my freedom for this organisation," I cut across lowly. "I've done what other people have wanted me to do my entire _fucking_ life. And if any of you think I'm going to give you the testimony you all need to nail The Volturi without Bella's freedom, you're even more fucked in the head than I thought."

"Edward, our hands are tied," Emmet replied. His tone was soft, and he even sounded a little regretful. But that did shit to help me. "If we go back in there-"

"It's okay, Emmett. I'll take it from here."

A mixture of relief and rage bubbled up inside of me at the sound of his voice. Part of me wanted to wrap my hands around his throat and watch the life seep out of him for what he had done, but the more rational side of me knew that I needed him now. I breathed out slowly to calm myself, then opened my eyes.

He seemed to have aged several decades since I'd last seen him in person. He looked exhausted, like something was weighing on his mind. I had no sympathy for him, though. He deserved it after what he'd done to Bella.

"How's the shoulder?" he asked.

"How's the conscience?" I countered. "If you even have one."

"Edward…"

"It's Mr. Masen to you."

Carlisle sighed softly, then put both his hands up in a surrendering gesture. "Okay. Mr. Masen it is."

I nodded stiffly.

"Emmett? Rosalie? Would you mind giving us some privacy?" Carlisle called softly, then glanced at me. "If returning to the room is okay with Mr. Masen, of course."

"You'll listen to me?" I wanted confirmation before being in the same room as him alone. Trusting him that much was a stretch, but I knew it was my only option now.

"I will," he swore. I stared right into his eyes, trying to read him. I saw no signs of deception, but it was his job to lie. He did it everyday without detection. Fuck, he'd even managed to lie his way into making me agree to do this shit in the first place, and then he fucking turned his back on me.

_He won't do it to Bella, too._

"Okay." Carlisle nodded and opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off. "On one condition."

"Name it," he replied.

"If you don't agree to help me, I get to leave whatever the fuck this place is."

"Ed-…" He let his eyes close briefly before finally sighing. "Alright. But you need to listen to what I have to say first."

"I'll listen, but that's all I'm promising," I warned. He nodded slightly, then gestured for me to step back into the room Rosalie and Emmett had now vacated.

I didn't move, not wanting to risk being locked in there alone again if he decided to break his promise again. Carlisle stared at me for a few moments, then exhaled deeply before stepping in himself. I followed him after a second's hesitation, then pulled the door until it was almost shut behind me. I wouldn't have put it past him to make the doors automatically lock upon closing.

Once I turned back round to face him, our eyes locked. There was so much I wanted to say to him… But I had to hold my tongue.

Sensing my reluctance, he finally spoke first. "I know there's a lot that needs to be said, and I'm sure you must have questions that only I can answer, but… You have to understand that this organisation, my family, comes first. I didn't know if you had turned against us, or if-"

"Don't you fucking dare try and make yourself be the victim here," I growled. Keeping my cool was going to be impossible, I could tell. "You abandoned me. Didn't give a fuck about what might happen. You left me there to die without even _attempting_ to make contact. So don't. _Nothing_ you say will make me forgive you for that. Because it was unforgivable."

"Ed- Mr. Masen… I am _sorry_. I couldn't risk it. Sending anybody in there blind would have been sui-"

"Bella managed it. Without _any_ help from you. So are you seriously telling me that a group of agents with time, money and all the resources and technology available wouldn't have been able to do the same?"

"Bella…"

"Secured two targets and got them out in, what? Two months?" I countered. "She's a damn good agent, and you underestimated her."

"Oh, yes, and that's why she's stu-"

A red haze engulfed my vision as I lunged at him, my instincts screaming at me to kill him. I got him by the throat and shoved him roughly against the wall, enjoying the fearful expression on his face.

"Finish that sentence. I dare you."

"You need me," he choked out. My fingers tightened their grip. "You need me, and you know it!"

After a few seconds, I released him, smiling to myself when the fucker coughed uncontrollably and dropped to his knees.

"You watch your mouth, or next time, you're dead." I told him. "Got it?"

"Got it," he coughed, pulling himself to his feet and brushing himself off.

"She isn't the reason she's… _there_. She did everything she was supposed to. You weren't there, so you have no right to even…" I closed my eyes, fighting to keep my emotions in check. "She's ten times the person you could _ever _be."

"You really love her?"

"Of course I fucking love her," I shot back. "Jesus Christ, she's carrying _our child_. How much more fucking obvious could it be?"

"She's definitely pregnant?" he asked softly. I nodded, meeting his gaze. It was then that I noticed his expression was one of… pain. But not of the physical kind. "How far along?"

"Not far enough to be…" I couldn't voice my fears about the baby. The thought of possibly losing Bella alone made me feel sick and panicked enough. "Probably the middle of her first trimester or so."

Carlisle exhaled a long breath. "We can't… They'll be on high alert now, won't they?"

"Yeah," I mumbled. "They won't have moved her yet, though. Despite recent events, that compound is still one of the securest places they own. It was built for purpose, and now they'll be working twice as hard to secure the premises."

"How wounded is she?" he asked tentatively.

"I don't know," I replied truthfully, moving over to the bed I'd been laying on before and sitting down on the edge of it for support. "She was shot in the upper thigh, and I couldn't… My shoulder was… She told me to get help, and I thought-"

"She told you to say code black, knowing you had no idea what it would mean," he finished softly. "She didn't want you to go back for her, Masen. She knew what she was doing."

"They'll kill her." I looked up at him. "Even if she gives up the information… They'll torture her, and then…"

"Would her pregnancy give her no leverage?"

I laughed bitterly. "If anything, it'll give _them_ leverage. Another way to hurt her. And they _will_ use it. I've seen them, Carlisle. They're more ruthless than you could ever imagine when it comes to eliminating threats to the organisation. She's probably already…" I closed my eyes against the image that tried to burn itself into the forefront of my mind. "She'll wish she was dead, and then they'll tease her with the thought of it coming soon, make her willing to beg, and then… They'll torture her some more. Because they can."

"Is there nobody on the inside…"

"Didyme's the doctor there. She might be able to… I don't know." I shuddered, bringing my hand up to my aching shoulder to try and stop the pain. "Her and Marcus will probably be kept in a safehouse or-"

I inhaled sharply. _Of course._

"Or…?" he prompted when I didn't continue.

"I need your phone," I told him. "_Now."_

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><p>After several hours solid of trying different lines, I finally managed to leave a message on Didyme and Marcus' personal line, begging them to get a message on Bella's whereabouts and condition back to me as soon as possible. Since <em>The Volturi<em> were on high alert and had most likely scattered to as many secure locations as possible, there was no telling where in the country they were. If they were even in it at all.

So, I sat in Carlisle's suite at the Kikimonoly hotel in Portland with his phone on my lap and a computer on the table in front of me and waited, only leaving my position for bathroom breaks and the occasional check-up with Lucinda, the on-call medic, when absolutely necessary, but not before making sure somebody was taking my place the entire time for fear of missing that all important message.

On the fifth day, an email finally arrived in one of Carlisle's secure inboxes while I was getting my shoulder re-bandaged. Ethan, one of the techs who had been swapping watch duty with me, suddenly yelled for Carlisle, and I sprang out of my seat with my shoulder half bandaged, my mind only on Bella.

"Let me see," I demanded, almost pushing Ethan over in my haste to read the message. He started to object, but Carlisle quickly cut him off.

"Give it to him," he ordered softly.

Within moments, I had the laptop on my lap and was reading Didyme's email.

_Subject: RE: Better Economic Logistics – Legal Aid__ AJ#4G_

_Dear, Sir/Madam_

_It is with deep regret that I inform you the parcel containing the information we desire has yet to arrive at our offices here in Montana. Contact with the postal service has proved to be inconclusive, as they are claiming to know nothing about the parcel or its contents, despite the proof of postage you provided._

_However, I have been made aware that all efforts are being put into ensuring the parcel, as well as its contents, are kept safe and unharmed by any unforeseen circumstances, such as water damage or mishandling. Although the outside may become damaged or punctured, we will do our best to ensure the contents remain intact._

_Due to the delicate nature of the package, I would suggest waiting until the 21__st__ of December before re-sending the information. Perhaps reinforced packaging or personal courier may be a more secure way of getting this information to us? As you have been made aware, our offices will be moving on 22__nd__ December, and if you wish to have your case resolved by then, a swift delivery is essential._

_Regards,_

_DCM Sudsortie_

My lungs burned in protest, and I quickly exhaled the breath I'd been holding.

"Oh, thank God," I gasped as relief washed over me. "She's alive."

"How can you tell?" Ethan asked, frowning as he read the email over my shoulder.

"The code," I explained. "Bella's the parcel, the baby's the contents of it. She's still at the compound in Montana, and she's not talking." I re-read the letter. "She's been tortured. Possibly waterboarded…" I fought back the urge to vomit. "But Didyme's trying to make sure she's okay. Her and the baby."

"And December 21st?" Ethan prompted. "December 22nd?"

"They're moving her December 22nd, I think," I replied. "I think she's trying to tell us 21st December is when we should go in… Surprise attack, lots of men…" I scanned the email. "The south exit is our best bet."

"Three weeks?" Carlisle said softly from behind us.

Although he had neither agreed nor disagreed to help with Bella's retrieval, his interest fanned the flames of hope inside of me.

"Three weeks," I confirmed, searching his eyes for answers I knew I wouldn't find.

"You know how to get to the south exit?"

I nodded. "It's the opposite side to where we broke free, accessible through unused sewage pipes that were placed in case the south wing needed to be expanded. They call it death row; most captives get taken there for… Information extraction."

"How many guards?" he asked, frowning at the screen.

"I…" I read and re-read the email, but nothing sprung out at me until… I pointed at the header. "Bella's with Alec and Jane. And four guards, who are probably outside the room."

"Alec and Jane?"

"Pain experts." Images of their previous victims flashed through my mind. "Jane likes knives and whips… Chains… Alec prefers more… He's the main culprit for waterboarding. He loves to cut off the senses. And he's very good at it."

"You've seen it? Could you identify them?"

"I've experienced it," I mumbled. "Alec blindfolded me while Jane sliced up my back as some fucked up initiation thing. Barely left a scar."

"Bella's with them?" He sounded horrified at the thought.

I forced myself to nod.

"I'll talk to Emmett. Assemble a team. We go in December 21st."

My eyes closed in relief.

"If anything happens to them in the mean time…" He paused, gently gripping my uninjured shoulder. "Either one of them. I'll understand."

His hand slipped away, and the main door clicked open moments later.

"Carlisle?" I called, turning to face him.

"Yes, Mr. Masen?"

"Call me Edward."

He smiled. "You're welcome."


	2. You Took The Fall For Us

**A/N:** Thank you so much for the kind reviews, everybody. I honestly didn't expect such a positive reaction, and some of your comments made me well up like a total sap, which I suppose I am.

Some of you may disagree with Edward's actions in this chapter, but remember that he is scared and petrified and the only outlet he has is anger right now – anything else will trigger a breakdown.

Thank you to **Jess**, **Vanessa** and **Eleanor** for your support and help with this chapter. I appreciate it more than you could ever know.

Although this chapter's out pretty quickly after the previous one, I can't promise that chapter three will follow at the same speed. What I can promise, however, is that I'll try my damn hardest to get it to you as fast as possible.

In the mean time, feel free to check out the blog (link is on my profile) for a teaser of chapter three which I've just posted for you.

Enjoy! xx

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><p><em>In the dark, I can hear your heart beat<em>

_I tried to find the sound…_

_But then it stopped, and I was in the darkness_

_So darkness I became…_

Cosmic Love – Florence + The Machine

December 21st had seemed like a lifetime to wait when the date was first secured, but it crept up on us remarkably quickly. After telling Carlisle about Kate Denali being in danger, a taskforce had been put together immediately to bring them into protective custody, and Kate, her husband, Garrett, and their daughter were now being guarded twenty-four hours a day at a safe-house in Indiana. Although I was glad Kate and her family were safe, they had taken priority over rescuing Bella, so planning the break-in had taken a back seat for three painful days.

To make matters worse, even when I had all the resources available at my disposal, we still had a lack of visual aids and surveillance of the area, which made planning routes and informing the team of possible entrances and exits incredibly difficult. Even though I knew the rough layout of the south wing, I'd visited it so few times in my stay, my information was less than complete to say the least.

It had quickly been decided that technological communications during the raid would be too risky and, despite my protests, Carlisle had ordered a communications blackout to occur until Bella had been safely retrieved from the compound. Prior to the team's approach, we would be in full radio contact so I could direct them, but then… It would be a matter of waiting.

Carlisle had ordered me not to go with the extraction team, deeming my shoulder injury a risk to the success of the mission. Although I'd made it clear that I no longer recognized him as my leader in any way shape or form, when he'd told me that my presence could prove to be a risk to Bella's safety as well as my own because any guards there would be able to recognize me in a heartbeat, I'd finally been forced to give in.

So, instead I was waiting in the communications suite of The Agency's medical center closest to the compound with Carlisle by my side, over-seeing the entire operation and guiding the ground team as best I could. Rosalie was in a nearby room, I was sure of it, but she'd wisely chosen to avoid me after that initial meeting where I'd almost killed her. The bitch had betrayed me, and until I had my Bella back with me, avoiding me was her safest option.

"Grizzly Bear, do you read me? Over."

I released the talk button and waited for a response, feeling my heart start to race as the seconds ticked by.

Static sounded over the radio system.

"_MD, this is Grizzly Bear, we read you loud and clear. Over."_

Carlisle leaned over my shoulder and pressed the talk button. "What's your status? Over."

"_Target is in sight. The pack is loaded and ready to charge. Over."_

"Prepare to disable communications temporarily. Over." I could feel Carlisle's eyes on me as he uttered the order, but kept my gaze firmly on my feet.

After an altercation before that resulted in Carlisle receiving a broken nose and me ripping the stitches in my wounded shoulder, we had been avoiding being near each other as much as was possible considering we were working closely together. My temper had been difficult enough to control anyway, but being ordered to stay behind and then knowing I wouldn't be able to hear what was going on had driven me to breaking point.

"_You have _got_ to be fucking kidding me!" I bellowed, pushing the door to Carlisle's office open with force that surprised even me. "I am _not_ sitting around like some fucking spare part while you send your fuckwit agents in to get _my_ Bella back!"_

_Carlisle sighed and quickly murmured his goodbyes to whoever he was on the phone to before replacing the handset in its cradle._

"_Edward, calm down."_

"_Calm down?" My hands curled into fists. "Don't you dare fucking tell me what to do! Bella _needs_ me. I need to be there for her!"_

"_And what use will you be, exactly?" he countered, eyebrows raised. "Your shoulder is still healing and you cannot be objective about this any longer. Your personal connections are too strong!"_

"_I'm sorry that I'm not a cold and heartless bastard like you, Carlisle, but this is Bella and my child we're talking about here!" I snapped. "A communications blackout will achieve _nothing_! If The Volturi know you're coming, wiping all radio contact out will jus-"_

"_You said yourself that they can track radio signals from several miles away, Edward. Any foreign signal will alert them to our presence and people will get killed! I know you hate me for what I've done, but you have _got_ to trust me on this!"_

"_Trust you?" I spat. "_Trust you?_ Last time I trusted you, you betrayed me."_

_Carlisle sighed, then removed his jacket and tie, walking round his desk and coming to a stop a few paces in front of me. "Go on, then. Out with it. We both know this isn't just about me not letting you go with them, so say what you've been dying to say to me."_

_I regarded him for a moment, then shook my head. "Nothing I could possibly say to you would make you understand the hatred I feel. The betrayal. The _rage_. But know this. If you weren't the only person who had the power to save Bella's life, I'd have killed you a long time ago. You are _nothing _to me now. And if Bella or our baby dies because of your fuck up, I'm holding you directly responsible and you can kiss your testimony goodbye."_

_Carlisle nodded, his expression so calm, it pissed me off even more. How the fucker could just stand there and be completely unaffected at the knowledge he had single-handedly ruined my life was beyond me._

"_Is that it?" he asked after a few moments of silence. "Are you done now?"_

_My anger boiled over._

"_Oh, I'm far from done."_

The sharp crack of my fist breaking his nose was the most satisfying sound I'd heard in years, and if it weren't for the armed guards who rushed to pull me off him, I'd have managed to crack a few ribs for good measure too, I was sure of it.

Luckily for Carlisle, the on-call medics had managed to fix his nose as best they could, though it would probably never look the same again. It was the least he deserved, and I think part of him must have agreed because he didn't retaliate or complain. There was so much more I could have done, but I had to remind myself that somebody… Two people… needed me too much to take risks.

"Edward?"

I looked up at Carlisle, whose face was tight with tension.

"They're going in."

All of a sudden, I felt like I was about to vomit.

"If she dies…" Tears welled in my eyes and my heart started to pound so hard, I was worried it would send me into cardiac arrest. "If she dies…"

"Breathe, son," he murmured, placing his hand gently on my shoulder. "Everything is going to be okay."

I couldn't bring myself to correct his use of the word _son_.

"The medics… They know she's pregnant, right?" Rationally, I knew every detail of Bella's medical history would be in their hands, but I had to check. They had to know about our baby; Bella wouldn't be able to live with herself if she knew the baby had…

If Bella even lived at all.

"They have all her medical details, I assure you," Carlisle promised, but it wasn't enough.

"I have to be there," I told him, feeling my mind start to spiral. "No matter what happens, I have to be there when they… when she gets here. I need to see her."

"Edward, we discussed this…"

"I don't care!" As I stood up, I pushed the chair back with so much force it toppled over, the loud thud of its weight against the floor resonating through the entire room.

Carlisle stared at me for a couple of seconds, then exhaled a resigned breath, nodding. "Fine. But when she needs surgery, you can't be in there, Edward. My doctors cannot concentrate if you're there distracting them with questions or comments and pleas to save her."

"Fuck you."

"Edward…"

"I need a cigarette," I muttered, then pushed my way through the doors on the opposite side of the room and forced my feet to step one in front of the other until I managed to get outside.

It had been snowing the previous night, and the cold weather meant most of the blanket of white was still intact. I shivered, then brushed some of the snow off the railings in front of me before feeling my pockets for a packet of smokes. It was a habit I only resorted to when the stress became too much for me, and right now, I was two breaths away from a motherfucking meltdown.

Within seconds of finding the half crumpled pack, I'd lit up and was taking my first drag. Some of the tension immediately seeped from my body, and I leant my forearms against the railing, letting my head drop as I tried to calm myself down. _Deep breaths,_ Bella used to tell me when the tension had been too much. _Deep breaths, baby. You're okay. We're okay. You're safe…_

"Smoking's bad for the baby, you know."

I clamped my eyes shut and exhaled through my mouth to calm myself before taking another drag of the cigarette.

"Not now, Rosalie. I'm not in the fucking mood."

"I'm just saying," she continued softly. "Bella wouldn't want you to-"

I laughed harshly, turning my head to look at her over my shoulder. "What do _you_ know about what Bella would and wouldn't want?"

"I know she loves you," she said firmly. "I know that she was willing to give up her life to make sure you were safe. And I _know_ that that baby… _Your _child…" She trailed off with a shake of her head, smiling slightly. "When she realised she was pregnant, she was scared shitless at the thought of being responsible for yet another life. But you know what? I could see in her eyes that she had already fallen in love with the mere _possibility _of carrying your child. And she has managed to survive living in Hell this long because, as a mother, the instinct to fight to protect that baby is overwhelming. So I don't care that you're stressed and think you need that cigarette. You owe it to her to put that thing out right now and make sure you never have another one."

"Oh, because you obviously know what that motherly instinct is like, don't you, Rosalie?" I scoffed, taking another drag just to piss her off. "You don't know shit about how it feels to have a child on the way, or you would _never_ have let them inject me with that shit!"

"Don't you dare…" Her voice cracked, and she seemed to push an awful thought aside before continuing, "Can you hear yourself right now? So what, they injected you with '_that shit'?_ At least you're not dead!"

"It fucking feels like I am. And that's your fault."

Her voice became startlingly loud. "I saved your life, you asshole!"

"_Saved…_" I shook my head in disgust.

"They had orders to shoot you if you resisted, Edward! The only way to keep Bella and the baby safe was to get back-up!"

"Whatever helps you sleep at night,_ Rosie_," I muttered.

"Look at you." She eyed me with a mixture of pity and anger. "You're so used to fighting that you can no longer recognise when somebody's helping you. You're full of hatred and anger, and it's made you blind to anything good in this world… When are you going to realize that I am _on your side_ in this?"

"You and me? We will _never_ be on the same side," I spat. "You are nothing but a backstabbing bitch and I wish we'd left you there to rot."

"You don't think I know that?" she cried. "You don't think I can see the hatred in your eyes every time you look at me? I _know_ you wish that it was Bella that got out, not me, and I feel exactly the same way you do. She was the only person who was truly kind to me and _she saved my life_, just like she saved yours. But it is what it is, and no amount of wishing or glaring is going to change that, Edward! I _hate_ that she's not here with us, I do, but our focus has to be on the future, no what could or should have happened that night."

"Easier said than done," I mumbled, gazing out over the snow without really seeing anything.

"I know that getting up everyday when you feel responsible for the kind of loss you are facing is one of the hardest things in world," she said softly. "All you want to do is lie in bed and wish it all away, but you know that you can't. Instead, you try and function the best you can while the guilt eats and eats away at you, and you wish that you were the one who'd been left behind… that you could trade places with them. And if that option was presented to you, you'd take it in a heartbeat."

She was right, but it was impossible to stop the venomous words from pouring out of my mouth. "What would you know about loss? I stand to lose my unborn chil-"

"I _did_ lose my unborn child," she interrupted coldly.

I turned in shock, almost recoiling at the sudden anger in her eyes.

"Don't you _dare _tell me I know nothing of loss or what it's like to be a mother," she continued. "I was ten weeks pregnant when they kidnapped me. I wanted to wait until the first trimester was over to tell Emmett, and I was about to leave to go to the doctor and hear the heartbeat for the first time, but_… They_ got to me first."

My heart sank, any anger I felt melting away. "Rose…"

She furiously wiped away the tears that had spilled down her cheeks. "I lost everything when they took me. Didyme thinks it was the stress and the injuries I sustained during the abduction that caused it. Either way, one minute I was happily expecting my first child with the man I loved and the next… I was a slave to Royce King, being raped daily and forced to live like a dog."

"I'm-"

"Don't." She put her hand up to stop me. "I don't want your half-assed apology, and I don't want your pity."

"I wasn't…"

"You know what? Fuck you, Edward Masen." Her voice was cold, and she sounded almost numb as she stepped towards me. "Fuck you and fuck this little pity party you've been throwing yourself the past three weeks. At least you have the chance to get Bella and your baby back. I. Never. Did."

Glaring sharply at me, she took the still-lit cigarette from my hands and threw it on the ground, stomped it out with the ball of her foot, then turned and walked away.

I didn't bother lighting another one.

* * *

><p>It took them three hours to reach Bella.<p>

When radio contact was re-instated and they announced that Emmett had managed to safely remove her from the compound and none of our men had been lost, I rushed to the bathroom just in time for my stomach to empty itself into the sink.

Bella had suffered multiple injuries. She was unconscious. Emmett reported that her hair was matted with blood and she was still wearing the dress she had on the night of the escape. No shoes. She was worryingly thin.

No news on the baby.

Jane and Alec had been taken into custody, and the four guards were dead.

I couldn't breathe.

ETA: Ten minutes.

Five.

Two.

And then…

"I see them!" Rosalie shouted. I sprinted round to the front of the building, followed quickly by Carlisle and most of the medical staff on-call. As I skidded to a stop, the convoy came screeching to an abrupt halt directly outside the entrance. Within moments, doors were being flung open, and I desperately scanned the faces of each new arrival, trying to find Emmett or Bella.

"I need a gurney over here!" Aimee, one of the trauma specialists who had joined the team in case Bella's injuries were severe, yelled from one of the middle cars, and my feet instantly started running in her direction. As I approached, I saw the back passenger door of Aimee's SUV swing open, and Emmett slowly emerged, cradling someone to his chest.

"_She's still losing a lot of blood… Lacerations to her back… Upper thigh… Infected… Pulse thready… Malnourished…"_

Aimee's words washed over me, but I couldn't absorb them.

Emmett carefully lowered the woman he was carrying onto the gurney, and as the medics began to attach leads and monitors to her, her hair fell from her face, finally allowing me to see her. My heart dropped to my stomach.

She looked half-dead. Her eyes were glassy and unfocused, and there was blood… _Everywhere_. Her face. Her neck. Her chest…

"Bella…"

They began to wheel her away into the building, but I couldn't move. _Why couldn't I move?_

"BELLA!"

I broke free of whatever had a hold on me and ran towards her, desperate for another glimpse. As she came back into view, everything else melted into the background, and I somehow managed to grip her limp hand in mine.

"Bella, I love you," I told her as hot wetness streamed down my cheeks. "I love you, baby."

Her eyes fluttered open briefly and a faint smile graced her cracked lips, but then…

"SHE'S CRASHING!"

Her hand was slipped from mine and she disappeared from my sight.

My knees gave way, and I gagged on nothing as the crushing weight of everything settled itself on my chest. I couldn't breathe… Couldn't see…

She was dying.

_Please… Please…_

"Edward?"

_Please, God, don't let her die…_

"Edward, look at me."

_I can't live without her…_

"Let's get him inside."

I felt myself being lifted from the ground, but it was like it was happening to another person. All I could think of was _her_.

"The baby…" I managed to gasp. The thought was as sobering as seeing Bella lying on that gurney, and I forced my eyes to focus on Emmett, who was somehow guiding me into one of the conference rooms. "Is the baby okay?"

Emmett's expression was pained, and he glanced to someone next to me.

"Oh, God…" My body felt like it was about to collapse in on itself. "Oh, God…"

"Edward?" Rosalie's panicked voice broke through my hysteria, and I felt her warm hands grip my face, forcing me to lift my head. "Look at me."

"Rose…"

"I know," she said softly, stroking my face with her thumb to calm me. "I know it hurts, but you have _got_ to listen to me right now, okay? The baby is fine. You hear me?"

"Wha-"

"Your baby is okay. I just spoke to Aimee, and she said that the fetal heartbeat is strong, and they got Bella back. She's in surgery, but she's going to be okay. She's a fighter, Edward. She _will _beat this."

"How bad is it?" I croaked. I needed to pull myself together and man up, but the image of Bella on that gurney had burned itself onto my retinas, and the thought that I'd let that happen to her… _It was all my fault._

"I…" She trailed off, sending a pleading glance over my shoulder.

Emmett cleared his throat, then sat down on the couch beside me. _When had they sat me down?_

"When we found her, the man and the woman with her – Jane and Alec – had just finished…" He shuddered slightly. "Her back is pretty cut up. Older wounds criss-cross with the new ones, and she… I don't think she's eaten in days."

_Deep breaths, baby. You're okay. We're okay. You're safe._

"The wound on her thigh hasn't been healing properly. The bandage that had been used to protect it was dirty and blood stained, and…" Emmett swallowed audibly. "Edward, I'm not sure this is a good…"

I wrapped my arms around my middle and leaned forwards, trying to hold it together. "What else?"

"You don't want to hear this," Emmett said softly. "Trust me."

I shook my head. "She survived it. The least I can do is listen."

"I…" Emmett sighed, then eventually began to speak again. "When Aimee inspected the wound en route, she discovered what appear to be severe burns surrounding and inside the wound itself. She believes it was used to inflict maximum damage to…"

"Get her to talk," I finished hoarsely. "Jesus Christ."

"We have some of the finest surgeons in the world on our side, Edward," Rosalie tried to reassure me. "She's in safe hands."

"Does… Does Alice know?" I tried to swallow past the lump in my throat. "When she wakes up, she'll want Jake with her and… Alice and Jasper, too."

"They're still in Seattle," Emmett replied. "Bringing them here would be too risky, so once Bella's recovered, we'll be meeting them at a safe house."

"Good… Good, that's… That's good." I could breathe a little easier now, but I knew I wouldn't feel okay again until I had Bella in my arms. Only then would I know she was going to be fine; what they were telling me was just words.

"There doesn't appear to be any internal injuries, though they are stitching up her back as best they can, and she'll need a course of antibiotics to help rid her of any possible infections from her thigh."

"The antibiotics… Are you sure they won't harm the baby? Bella wouldn't want to risk… She wouldn't want that."

"Aimee assured me they're perfectly safe, but even if they weren't… What would it matter when she could end up with septicemia without them, Edward? She could die!" Emmett sounded appalled, but I knew that Bella would be asking the same things if she was able.

"If it was a choice between risking her life and saving her baby, she would choose the baby, Em," Rosalie said softly. "The baby's needs would take priority over hers every time."

"I'm not saying the baby isn't important, Rosie, but if it came down to saving Bella's life by taking a risk or doing nothing and letting both her _and_ the baby die, are you honestly telling me that…"

I blocked them out and cradled my head in my hands. I didn't want to get into a debate; just knowing both Bella and the baby were in safe hands was enough.

All I could do now was wait.


	3. Breathe

**A/N:** Hey, everyone. I'm trying out a new posting schedule at the moment and will be trying to post a new chapter every Sunday and Wednesday. Trying being the key word there. I'm on holiday at the moment, so I'm kind of busy, but once I get home again, I'll have a mostly clear schedule so that's something, I guess!

Thanks again to my fabulous pre-readers and friends **Jess**,** Vanessa **and** Eleanor**. Vanessa is the logical one who stops me from getting too carried away and wearing myself out by ignoring me on Twitter until I go to bed, Jess is my wifey and supports me through thick and thin with her words of wisdom and insane understanding of my brain, and Eleanor is the girl who crosses my t's and dots my i's and stops my comma addiction in its tracks. I owe you girlies lots, and love you even more!

Also, a huge thanks goes out to all of you who have favourited and alerted me and this story – I appreciate that more than you know. And to those lovely reviewers who share their opinions with me, even though they may only use one word, thank you so fucking much for sharing your thoughts. You're the ones who really keep my butt in check and encourage me to keep going.** I'm going to try and reply to you all, and those of you who review this chapter will be sent a special teaser of chapter four before anyone else as my way of saying thank you. **Not that I'm trying to get more people to review or anything... Nope. Not me. I'd never resort to bribery.

Enjoy! xx

* * *

><p><em>They say love can be deadly, but I know this already.<em>

_I know what I'm like; stop trying to scare me._

_If only you knew the things we've been through,_

_then maybe you would leave us both alone..._

~ How We Roll – Loick Essien

"Edward?"

I groaned softly, aware that someone was gently pushing my shoulder.

"Edward."

"Mm?" I mumbled, frowning as the pushing grew more insistent.

"She's out of surgery."

Rosalie's words were like a bucket of cold water being dropped on my head, and I stood up so quickly, I almost keeled over again. Rose reached out a hand to steady me, and I blinked to try and adjust to the bright overhead lighting. I hadn't intended to fall asleep, and cursed myself for not being there when Bella was first brought out.

"Where-" My voice was gravelly, and my throat felt painfully dry. Rose handed me a glass of water, and I smiled gratefully. It was more than I deserved after the way I'd treated her. "Where is she?"

"She's in the recovery suite," she replied, taking the glass back from me and placing it on the nearby table I'd been resting my head upon while I slept. "Come on – I'll take you to her."

"Thank you."

She nodded, then tilted her head in the direction of the door in a silent command to follow. "Through here."

Although the building wasn't exactly huge, every single step towards Bella felt like a mile, and I could feel myself grow more and more tense with every inch closer I got to her. She wasn't awake yet, and probably wouldn't be for a while, since her body needed to recover from the massive trauma it had experience, but I suddenly found myself doubting whether I should go in there.

"Rosalie, I…" I slowed to a stop as Rosalie reached a door further down the hallway. "She might not want me there when she wakes up. All this is… It's my fault. What if she hates me?"

Her expression grew soft. "Edward, she loves you. Do you really want to risk her waking up scared and alone, not knowing where she is? Do you want her to feel that terror? After everything she's been through? Even if she does hate you, seeing your face… A familiar face… It will mean the _world_ to her. So come on."

I nodded, then hesitated for a few moments so I could compose myself. _Think about Bella. She needs you_.

"Okay," I finally murmured. "I'm ready."

Rosalie carefully pushed open the unmarked door in front of her, then gestured for me to walk through it. Even though my legs felt like they were on the brink of collapse, I forced myself to take those few extra steps into the room.

I gasped at the sight that greeted me.

In the middle of the dimly lit room, covered with tubes and wires and hooked up to a heart monitor, was Bella. She looked troubled, even in sleep, and I found myself gravitating towards her unintentionally, the urge to touch her too much to bear. They hadn't cleaned the blood from her face or hair yet, but I could already see the dark purple bruises that marred her skin. One of her eyes was swollen, and cuts were scattered across every inch of flesh I could see… Her worryingly thin arms… her shoulders… Even her fingernails seemed torn and bloodied, and I felt tears rush to my eyes at the thought of what she had gone through because of me.

_But she's here now. She's safe. They're _both_ safe._

"Can you, uh…" I glanced back at Rosalie, who was gazing at Bella with a solemn expression on her face. "Can you get me a bowl of warm water, please? And a cloth."

Rosalie nodded, then hurried from the room without questioning my request. While I waited for her to return, I slowly made my way over to Bella's bed, grateful somebody had had the foresight to place a chair beside it so I could be close to her. I sat right on the edge of the seat, gingerly covering her cool hand with mine and trying not to stare at the harsh friction burns that surrounded her wrist.

"I'm here, baby," I told her, even though she couldn't hear me. "You're safe now. I love you."

She didn't respond, and I felt almost foolish for hoping that she would. Sleep was the best thing for her, so I didn't want to risk disturbing her just so I could make myself feel better. Trying to be as quiet and gentle as possible, I lifted her hand to my lips and softly kissed her knuckles, closing my eyes at the sensation of her skin against mine.

It was a feeling part of me had doubted I would ever feel again.

Unable to bear the thought of losing that feeling, I lowered her hand to the bed again but kept my fingers carefully encasing hers, stroking her skin with my thumb as I carefully extended my arm to let my free hand hover over her belly.

After a moment of worried hesitation, I slowly let my hand rest on her lower abdomen through the sheets, surprised to feel a slight bump. It was probably just my perception of things, or maybe her weight loss made it seem like she was showing slightly. Either way, I felt tears well up in my eyes as I realized that this was real. _Our baby_ was real.

"You're okay," I whispered, allowing the tears to fall. "Thank God you're okay."

"Edward?"

I glanced in Rosalie's direction as she approached, barely able to tear my gaze away from Bella's stomach and our touching hands.

"I'll be outside if you need me," she said softly, placing the bowl of water on the bed near my hand before turning to leave.

"Thank you," I called as she reached the doors, then looked up to see her smile slightly. "For everything."

"You're welcome," she replied. "I'm glad they're both okay."

I smiled, and before she had a chance to try and leave again, I called out her name. "And Rose?"

"Yes?" She frowned slightly in confusion.

"I'm sorry."

Her eyes fluttered closed for a moment, her gaze dropping to the floor. "So am I."

"You should tell him," I said softly. "He'd want to know."

She laughed humorlessly. "He won't even touch me anymore, and refuses to be in the same room as me alone. He doesn't want me anymore – this would just… He wouldn't believe me."

"Does he know what happened to you?" I asked, frowning.

"Of course he does," she replied quietly. "Everyone knows."

"Then maybe he's scared of your reaction," I told her. "He might think you wouldn't feel comfortable around him after what happened and is trying to avoid making you become scared of him. I know that if Bella had… If she had been through what you have, I'd be worried to approach her, too."

"Or maybe he doesn't love me anymore. Two years is a long time to wait for someone," she sighed.

"You never stop loving someone, Rose," I murmured, gazing at Bella. "And if he loves you even half as much as I love Bella, I promise that the time you've been apart will feel like nothing once he knows you still want him."

She breathed out another laugh. "I hope you're right."

"I am," I assured her.

Smiling sadly, she turned away again. "Don't let the water get too cold."

As she walked away, another wave of self-loathing washed over me, this time for treating her so badly before. Although I had known what Royce had put her through, I hadn't known the depth of her and Emmett's relationship until now, and felt immensely sad for the both of them. I could only hope that Emmett would be the support system she needed, because there was no way in hell that I could do it for her. I had to focus on Bella and our child's recovery before I could even consider helping anyone else.

With a soft sigh, I carefully moved Bella's hand to her stomach, then sat beside her on the bed with the bowl of water and cloth in my lap, unsure of where to start. I wouldn't be able to do much about her hair right now, but I could clean her face, shoulders and arms for her so she wouldn't have to see it when she woke up.

I couldn't heal her wounds or take away her pain, but at least I could do this for her.

Careful not to hurt her, I pushed her hair back from her face, then squeezed out the excess water from the cloth before raising it to her forehead and gently trying to wipe away the blood that had seeped from a small gash near her hairline. I followed the rivulets of water that slipped towards her temple and down the side of her face with the cloth, making sure I never applied more pressure than was absolutely necessary.

I took my time cleaning every inch of her skin that I could, leaving no spot untouched or unloved. I kissed every fingertip… every torn nail… every bruise… I wanted to take all of it away, but nothing but time would ever be able to. But that didn't mean I wouldn't try.

Once I was finished, I placed the bowl and dirtied cloth on the table beside her bed and resumed my position on the chair, my hands immediately seeking the soothing softness of her skin and the comfort of her stomach. I hadn't been able to protect them in that compound, but now I had them both back with me, I would never let any more harm come to them. I would protect them until the day I died, of that I was certain.

It was my job now. I was no longer Aro's bitch. Instead, I was a father-to-be, protector, lover, friend, and one day I hoped I would be a husband, too. Because, fuck, did I want that with her. I wanted our dream house and that damned picket fence. We'd always said that normalcy was over-rated, but at least it was safe. Nobody held guns to the heads of normal people; nobody tortured or maimed them just because they could.

_Never again, baby. Never again._

I gently rubbed Bella's stomach, smiling my first genuine smile in weeks. Bella was stable. Our baby was okay. We were going to make it through this.

"Mommy's going to be okay, little one," I whispered. "We're all going to be okay. I promise."

Scooting my chair a little closer to the bed, I lifted Bella's knuckles to my lips again.

"You hear me, baby?" I said to her softly, squeezing her hand. "You're going to be just fine."

I knew the chances of her being able to hear me were slim, but I could have sworn that her fingers tightened infinitesimally around mine.

* * *

><p>I must have drifted off to sleep at some point, because when I opened my eyes, it was light outside and my head was resting on Bella's bed, both my hands encasing her small one. I blinked to try and get my bearings again, then groaned softly as I sat up, my back and shoulders protesting from staying in one position for too long.<p>

As the room didn't have a window for security reasons and I didn't own a watch, I had no idea what time it was, but I couldn't bring myself to leave the room to find out. At some point, one of the medics must have come in and changed Bella's IV fluids; the bag was more full than it had been when I'd first arrived, and I wondered how I'd managed to sleep through it. Granted, I hadn't been getting much sleep recently, but I would have at least expected myself to notice someone else entering the room. The fact I hadn't was worrying to say the least.

I stretched my arms above my head, wincing as my bad shoulder made its presence known, then glanced around the room again. Although the thought of leaving Bella alone even for a few moments made me uncomfortable, I was painfully aware that I would soon need to use the restroom, so after kissing Bella's hand, I made my way over to the en-suite bathroom, leaving the door open a little in order to hear anything that might happen in my absence.

I couldn't have been gone for more than two minutes before I heard the first spike in her heartbeat from the monitor. I paused, carefully listening to see if it was just a fluke. The other spikes that followed soon after confirmed that no, it wasn't a coincidence, but in the few seconds it took me to fling open the door and rush into the room, Bella was sitting upright in bed and hurriedly trying to remove her IV, her panic tangible even from a distance.

"Bella?" I called softly to try and reassure her, but all I managed to do was startle her into even more of a panic. I felt my breath catch in my throat as she finally ripped out the IV and pulled the cords from her body, and unthinkingly stepped forwards, only to have her force herself out of bed and try and run on shaking legs.

"Bella, no!"

I barely managed to reach her in time to stop her from hitting the ground as her injured leg gave out from underneath her. She fought against my hold with surprising force, scratching blindly at my face in her desperation to escape.

"Baby, it's okay," I tried to assure her, but she didn't seem to hear me. Aimee and a few other doctors rushed into the room, obviously having heard the noise, but I didn't have time to tell them to back off before Bella started crying and shaking all over, terror evident in every urgent move she made.

I didn't want to hurt her, but the force with which she was trying to break free left me with no other option than to grip her arms and pin them to her sides.

"Baby, it's okay," I said loudly, trying to break through her panic. "You're safe now. You don't have to fight anymore."

She shook her head violently, and tears slid down my cheeks as I tried to calm her down. Seeing her like this made my guilt and emotional pain levels rise to the point it was almost unbearable, but I had to push my feelings aside and focus on her.

"Bella!" I said her name much more forcefully than I'd intended, but the shock caused by the change in volume made her head shoot up, her terrified, watery eyes snapping straight to mine.

"It's me… Edward," I murmured, loosening my grip on her arms. Her eyes widened for just a moment in recognition, but then her tears started to fall faster and her breaths escaped as panicked gasps.

"_Run!"_ she mouthed, pushing at my chest. "_Edward, run!"_

"Bella?"

She shook her head over and over again, then dropped to her knees faster than I could catch her, covering her ears with her arms as she rocked backwards and forwards, her entire body shaking with silent sobs.

"Sweetheart?"

I knelt in front of her and tried to pull her hands away, but she wouldn't let me; instead, she just shook her head more forcefully and clenched her hands in her hair, pulling it at its roots. I didn't know what was causing such a violent reaction from her; all I knew was that I had to calm her down fast, or the doctors would be forced to sedate her, and I didn't want to put her through that.

"Bella, it's okay," I soothed, gently but insistently coaxing her hands from her hair. "You're in the medical center in Oregon, baby."

As I finally managed to guide her hands away from her face, she lifted her head and stared at me, a mixture of confusion and fear etched across her face as she took in my words.

"They can't hurt you anymore," I whispered softly. "You're safe now."

"_Edward?_" she mouthed, tears spilling down her face much slower now.

"I'm here, baby," I murmured. "I'm right here."

Her expression morphed into one that can only be described as pure relief, and she flung herself at me, wrapping her arms around me so tightly, it was almost painful. My body shook with the force of her sobs, and I carefully held her to me, trying not to hurt her injured back. When her leg began to tremble, I slipped my hands beneath her legs and stood up, cradling her to my chest as I carried her over to the bed and sat down with her sitting sideways across my lap.

"It's okay," I whispered, feeling tears escape my own eyes as she cried against me. "You're safe. I've got you, and I'm not letting go, okay? I'm so fucking sorry, baby. So fucking sorry."

She whimpered softly and scrambled to get closer, turning to face me as she wrapped both her legs around me as tightly as she could, like she was desperate to merge us into one.

All I could do was hold her back.

"I love you, Bella." My voice cracked as I spoke, and her entire body shuddered at my words. "You hear me? _I love you_. God… I'm so fucking proud of you, sweetheart."

She shook her head fiercely.

"Yes, sweetheart," I murmured, stroking her hair. "I am. You held on, and you kept our baby safe."

She inhaled a gasping breath then let out a small, agonizing whimper, almost curling in on herself as another wave of sobs overtook her body. Her arms slipped from round my shoulders to encircle her stomach almost protectively, but when I looked at her face, all I saw was grief and… guilt?

"Bella, what…" I cupped her cheek in my hand, but she refused to look at me. I stroked her skin with my thumb, being careful to avoid the bruising surrounding her eye as I tried to work out what had triggered her tears. "Speak to me, baby."

She opened her eyes and glanced around the room as though searching for something I couldn't see, then shot me a pleading look. I frowned, not understanding, and she let out a shuddering breath before shaking her head again and burying her face against my shoulder. Her warm breaths against my neck were fast and shallow, and I felt as well as saw the way her arms tightened around her middle, like she was trying to make herself as small as possible.

"Bella?" I whispered, tilting my face towards hers and trying to coax her head up. She trembled when my nose brushed against her temple, but otherwise kept perfectly still, her eyes shut tightly.

"Baby…" I breathed, then gently kissed her cheek. A small moan escaped her the moment my lips touched her skin and she melted into my embrace, though still kept her arms securely around her stomach. I tightened my hold on her and slipped my hands around her waist so that my fingers could brush against hers, and she immediately gripped them like they were the only things keeping her afloat.

"I love you," I murmured as she nuzzled her face against my neck. I closed my eyes and breathed her in, letting my nose bury itself in her hair. "You're everything to me, baby… You're safe now… I'm never going to let anything happen to you again, I promise…"

I uttered those words over and over again, gently stroking her fingers with my thumbs as I slowly swayed us from side to side, trying my best to soothe her. I spoke until my throat felt raw with dryness, and when I finally reopened my eyes and gazed down at her, I realized she had fallen back to sleep; her breathing was slow and steady, and she looked more at peace than she had when I'd first seen her, though a slight frown still creased her forehead. I lowered my lips to her temple and kissed it, lingering there for a few moments as I tried to work out what to do next.

Although I wanted nothing more than to keep her here in my arms, her leg was meant to be kept as straight as possible, and I didn't want to do anything that would risk interrupting her healing process, especially where her back was concerned. Her hospital gown fastened at her back, and although she was wearing a pair of panties beneath it, the rest of her back was exposed, allowing me to see the scale of her injuries. None of her bare skin was revealed from just below her shoulders all the way down to her tailbone; it was covered in bandaging which concealed the criss-cross of lacerations, but I still knew they were there.

"Edward?"

I startled at the sound of Carlisle's voice from beside me, then tried to suppress the fight or flight response my body had to the intrusion.

"Sorry," he said softly. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's okay," I mumbled, but still held Bella a little tighter to me.

"I heard that she was awake and…" He sighed. "How is she?"

"Terrified. She tried to run, and it took me ages to calm her down enough to realize she wasn't in the compound anymore. I…" I stroked her hair absently.

"Did she say anything to you?"

"No, she refused to do anything but mouth words. She told me to run." I let out a slow, uneven breath. "In the compound, before the escape, she was attacked twice and almost raped, but even then, she didn't look…"

I closed my eyes and shook my head. "I've seen people be tortured… seen the look on their faces when they are forced to watch members of their family die right in front of them. I know what it looks like when people realize that they are about to die, but…" I looked up at him, trying to make him understand the sincerity of my words. "I've never seen anyone look so scared before, Carlisle. She fought me so hard…"

I exhaled another shaky breath and gently rested my cheek against her head, forcing myself to focus on the fact that she was alive and safe, not the ordeal she'd gone through to get to this point.

"What's going to happen to Alec and Jane?"

"We can't kill them," Carlisle replied, sounding regretful. "As much as I'd love to see them suffer for what they did, we cannot take out every Volturi member without arousing too much suspicion, and without Jane and Alec's testimonies, from a legal stand-point, we wouldn't have strong enough evidence to put them away, let alone get the death penalty for them."

"Because legal cases have always worked against them before, right?" I muttered, shaking my head.

"We didn't have you and Rosalie before," he pointed out. "With your testimonies, and Bella's too, we'll definitely have something solid, and if you combine Marcus and Didyme O'Bryant's…"

"Good luck getting them to the stand," I told him. "The moment The Volturi suspect something's going down, or that Marcus and Didyme are involved in _any_ way, they will not hesitate to kill them."

"Their daughter, Corinne, is already in our protective custody, and now that Bella is safe, Didyme will soon be joining us, followed by Marcus when he is able to escape without detection."

"_Without detection?_" I laughed bitterly. "There is no such thing as _without detection_ when The Volturi are involved. They seep into every organization… The police, the FBI… They have eyes _everywhere_, and if you think you'll be able to get one of their top players out from right under their noses, you're even more stupid than I thought."

"Bella got you and Rosalie out from under their noses, on their home turf," he countered. "Single-handedly."

It was almost comical how the tables had turned. "So now you're admitting that what she did was incredible?"

"I never said it wasn't," he sighed. "Just that it was stupid of her to even attempt it."

"Right," I muttered, fighting the urge to scoff.

"Edward…" He hesitated, seeming to be thinking over his words. "Did you read the package I gave you last week?"

"Package?" I frowned. "Oh! No, I haven't."

"You should," he replied. "I know it may seem redundant now, but since you haven't had a proper debriefing yet, I'd like you to consider maybe speaking to one of our counselors."

I stared at him in disbelief. "A _counselor."_

Unfazed by my reaction, he continued, "It's become very clear to me that you're holding in a lot of misplaced anger, most probably due to guilt and the required emotional suppression that occurred during your stay at-"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I rolled my eyes.

"I know it sounds like a ridiculous idea, but-"

"It _is_ a ridiculous idea," I cut across.

"But," Carlisle said pointedly, ignoring my comment. "It could really help you, give you an outlet for your aggression."

"I don't _need-_"

"You snapped at me," he pointed out. _You deserved it,_ I mentally added. "And who will it be next time your emotions get too much to handle? Bella?"

"Don't you even dare fucking…" I growled, then quickly reined my emotions in, not wanting to prove him right no matter how much I wanted to smack the smug, satisfied smile off his face. "I would _never_ hurt Bella."

"Are you sure?"

We stared at each other, and despite my attempts at ignoring him, his last words started to sink in._ Was I sure?_

I gazed down at Bella. _Yes. Yes, I was._

"Edward, listen…" Carlisle eventually began, but trailed off when Bella stirred in my arms, exhaling a barely audible groan.

"Bella?" I murmured, then smiled when she arched against me, letting her arms snake around my waist with a soft sigh.

It took her a few moments to wake up, and when she had, she slowly lifted her head, blinking sleepily at me in confusion before lifting her hand and gently trailing her fingers down my face. She frowned slightly, almost as though she couldn't believe what she was seeing and feeling, but when her fingertips brushed against my lips and I kissed them, a beautiful, relieved half-smile graced her face for a moment.

"Hey, beautiful," I said softly as she gazed into my eyes. She smiled again; not the full, beaming smile I was used to – just a slight, almost shy one – but it made me just as happy, if not more so.

"Bella?"

She inhaled sharply, whipping her head round to face Carlisle in shock.

"Hi," he continued lamely. Bella looked back at me, frowned, then glanced back at Carlisle, who looked truly nervous for the first time.

"Are you able to speak, Bella?" he wondered. It was a question I'd began to contemplate the answer to as well, and when Bella nodded and then shook her head, I found myself frowning.

"So you're physically able to speak, but can't or won't?" Carlisle probed softly.

Gazing into my eyes intensely, she nodded, like she was trying to make me understand or was apologizing for it. I kissed her forehead to try and reassure her that it was okay; she didn't have to speak until she was ready.

"Can you tell me why? Maybe write it down?"

Bella shook her head fiercely, panic engulfing her features. _What the hell had they done to her?_

"Okay," Carlisle murmured. "That's okay. You can just nod or shake your head for now, but I need to ask you a few quick questions for the doctors, okay?"

She looked to me again. I glanced at Carlisle, unsure of what he was trying to do, then gazed back into Bella's eyes.

"You don't have to answer them, baby, and I'll be right here the whole time."

She held my gaze for a few more seconds, then slowly nodded her consent as her gaze dropped to my chest.

"Okay, Bella. Do you know where you are?" he asked. A nod. Carlisle smiled slightly, seemingly pleased with her answer.

"Good. Do you know what today's date is?"

Bella looked up at me, her eyes instantly giving away the answer.

"It's okay," I soothed, gently stroking her waist with my thumbs.

After a few moments, Bella looked over to Carlisle and shook her head. Carlisle nodded mutely, but didn't elaborate.

Sensing Bella's confusion, I whispered, "It's December 22nd, baby."

The shock she felt at my words was palpable.

"Bella, using your fingers to show me, on a scale of one to ten, how much of what happened can you rememb-?"

"Carlisle," I cut across lowly, shooting him a sharp, warning glare. Bella shook her head, wrapping her arms around herself again as she buried her face in my neck.

"It has to be done, Edward," Carlisle murmured apologetically. "We need to know how much of her ordeal she can recall."

"Right now?" I tried to keep my temper in check, more for Bella's sake than my own. She was already starting to tremble again, and I didn't want to startle her by raising my voice. "Do you really want to put her through all that again when she's only just woken up?"

Carlisle sighed. "The sooner she recounts it-"

"Get out."

"Edwa-"

"If you have _ever_ cared about her wellbeing, you'll turn around and walk away. Right now."

He looked to Bella. "_Bells…_"

Bella's head snapped up, and she shot Carlisle a sharp glare that surprised me with its ferocity.

"_Don't,_" she mouthed, moisture welling in her eyes. "_You're not my dad."_

"Bella… I'm trying to help you."

Tears spilled down her cheeks. _"You're three weeks too late."_

Carlisle's lips parted, like he wanted to say something else, but when he just sat there silently, Bella startled us both by climbing off my lap and standing up on shaking legs.

"_Get out,"_ she mouthed, pointing to the door.

"Baby," I murmured, gently settling my hands on her waist to try and steady her. When Carlisle didn't move, she stepped forwards and pushed him. Then again. And again.

"I…" Carlisle stuttered, then finally got the message and stood up, but when he didn't move further than that, Bella shoved his shoulders once more with surprising force. I gently wrapped my arms around her from behind, trying to stop her from hurting herself, but she wouldn't give in, so I just moved with her as she started forcing Carlisle towards the door.

After a few, staggered steps, Carlisle snapped out of his shock and started moving of his own accord, but Bella still kept going until he was out the door.

"I'm sorry…" he said, frowning deeply. "I-"

Bella slammed the door shut, shaking violently, then started to sink to the floor as the pressure of standing became too much for her leg.

"C'mere," I murmured, slipping my arm under both her legs and picking her up again. She wrapped her arms around my neck and cried against my chest as I carried her over to the bed, and refused to let go when I tried to lower her onto the mattress.

"Bella…"

She shook her head fiercely, clinging on to me even tighter.

"Sweetheart, you should rest," I told her. "I'm not going anywhere, I swear, but I'll need to get the doctors to come in soon; they need to monitor your heart rate and keep you hydrated with the IV."

With a soft, resigned sigh, she loosened her hold on me and allowed me to move the pillows and pull the sheets over her before she reached out for my hands. I entwined my fingers with hers and sat beside her on the bed, then pressed the button on the wall above her to call a doctor in.

Linda, the doctor who came to assist us, didn't complain when she saw where I was sitting, instead choosing to work around me as she connected the heart monitor to Bella's chest and re-inserted the IV. Bella barely flinched as the needle punctured her skin; she was just staring blankly at her lap and occasionally squeezing my hand, almost as though she was reminding herself that I was still there.

"Someone will be in later for a check-up and explain everything to you," Linda said quietly. Bella nodded absently, but her eyes grew wide with shock at Linda's next words. "While you were in surgery, we did the usual investigations and know your baby is perfectly healthy, but I can call your midwife, Mary, and she can let you listen to the heartbeat before if you'd like me to?"

Bella's hands instantly went to her lower abdomen, a mixture of relief, shock and disbelief passing over her face as she processed the information.

"Did you not know?" Linda asked, frowning.

"She did," I replied quietly, just as confused as she was by Bella's reaction.

A couple of moments later, Linda's pager went off, and she cursed lowly under her breath.

"I'm so sorry, but I need to go and attend to another patient," she said. I nodded and smiled in thanks for her help before turning my attention back to Bella, who was staring at her lap in stunned silence.

"Baby?"

"_They said…"_ she mouthed, frowning. "_I thought…"_

Realization finally dawned on me, and I felt like I was about to throw up.

"Did they…" I swallowed hard, covering her hands in mine. "Bella, did they tell you that you had…"

She nodded, her expression morphing into one of unbelievable pain.

_They'd told her she'd miscarried._

I saw red.

"I'm going to kill them." I went to stand up, but Bella desperately reached for me in a panic, scrambling to pull me back down to her.

"_Please…_" she begged silently. "_Don't go."_

"Bella, please let go," I told her, trying to keep my voice level and calm even though I felt anything but.

She shook her head, pulling me even harder, and I finally raised my gaze to hers, my blind rage dissipating the moment I took in her tearful, scared eyes.

"Okay," I murmured, sitting back down next to her and gently cupping her cheeks in my hands. "Okay."

Bella leaned forwards and pressed her forehead to mine, letting her tears fall freely as she tried to calm her breathing down.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered, wiping away the tears with my thumbs. Her eyes slowly closed, and I gently kissed each of her eyelids in turn, which made her gasp softly.

Her eyes fluttered open again as I let my forehead rest against hers again, and I inhaled a shaky breath when her gaze fluttered down to my lips. I hesitated. I didn't want to push her into anything, but the urge to kiss her, to show her how much I loved her, was too strong to ignore.

Seeming to sense my silent debate, she made the decision for me by tilting her head and slowly leaning closer as her eyes fell shut. I exhaled deeply, then finally closed the distance between us, pressing my lips against hers and groaning softly as she let out a gentle moan.

"I love you," I breathed as our lips parted. I felt more than saw her smile, then kissed her slowly once more before carefully leaning forwards, coaxing her to lie back down on the bed.

"Try and sleep, sweetheart," I whispered, kissing her forehead. "I'll wake you up before they come to listen to the baby, I promise."

"_You won't leave?_"

"Of course not." _Until you're fast asleep._

"_Please, Edward. I need you."_ She knew me so well.

I sighed, then smiled softly at her. "I'll be here the whole time, I swear."

After seeing her beg me like that, there was no way in hell I'd be able to leave her now, but that didn't mean I no longer wanted to hunt down wherever Alec and Jane were being held and rip their fucking throats out.

No. That would have to wait.

The moment they'd provided their testimonies or Carlisle realized they weren't going to talk, their heads were mine on a shiny fucking platter.

But, right now, Bella needed me with her. My anger and aggression needed to be pushed aside so I could focus all my energy on being the strong person she so desperately needed me to be to help her through this. She deserved at least that much after being the strong one for so long.

Her gentle tugging on my sleeve brought me back from my thoughts, and I watched as she rolled onto her side, keeping her weight off her back and her injured leg, then gestured behind her.

"Bella, I'm not sure that's…" I groaned internally. "What about cross-contamination? I couldn't live with myself if I somehow managed to make you or the baby-"

"_Please?"_

That one, silent word stole my willpower.

I kicked off my shoes, then carefully climbed into the bed, rolling onto my side so we were almost spooning but still keeping enough space between us to avoid putting unnecessary pressure on her back.

Before I could fully settle, Bella reached for my hips and tried to coax me closer, then frowned at me over her shoulder when I held still.

"Your back…"

Her expression morphed from hopeful to devastated, and she immediately pulled the sheet up to cover her as she rolled onto her back, clamping her eyes tightly shut.

"Baby, what…?" I frowned, failing to understand what had got her upset, then cursed myself for being so careless. She probably thought her back disgusted me, when the total opposite was true. The only thing about her scars that disgusted me was the fact that Jane and Alec were fucked up enough to give her them.

"Shit, I didn't mean it like that, Bella," I murmured apologetically. "I just didn't want to hurt you if I got too close."

She stared at me for a while, like she was trying to work out if I was telling the truth. Instead of letting her draw the wrong conclusion, I simply slipped my hands beneath the sheets and gripped her hip gently in my hand before pushing slightly to urge her to roll onto her side. When she didn't move, I shifted slightly closer before pulling her against me, gently rolling her at the same time so that her back was pressed against my chest and my legs were curved against hers.

She lay there stiffly at first, but when I scattered kisses along her exposed shoulder and slid my arm around her waist more fully, she instantly relaxed against me. I rested my hand on her lower abdomen, now almost absolutely certain there was a tiny hint of a bump there, and smiled.

Her hand covered mine and she intertwined our fingers before squeezing three times.

"I love you, too."


	4. In The Dark, I Can Hear Your Heartbeat

**A/N:** Yeah, so my update schedule failed. I'm really sorry about that. Turns out finding out your (now ex) boyfriend was pretending to be terminally ill really takes it out of you. Who knew? I've started university too, and all my creative juice seems to be flowing in that direction… Fucking sucks.

Thank you to all my twitter girlies who look out for me and encourage me. All of you are amazing and I'm sorry I've been MIA. I've just been so busy and I feel really awful that I've practically been neglecting you all.

Wifey, I love you.

I know I promised a teaser to everybody who reviewed the last chapter, but I figured you'd rather I just post this than fart-arse around sending teasers when the chapter's already finished.

Enjoy! xx

* * *

><p><em>Somebody get me through this nightmare<br>I can't control myself…_

Animal I Have Become – Three Days Grace

Being so close to Bella again was amazing. Being able to touch her skin… bury my nose in her hair… feel her delicate fingers gently gripping mine… It was blissful. All other thoughts faded to the back of my mind with each soft rise and fall of her chest as she took in deep, slow breaths that my own pace gradually matched. I felt so comfortable and relieved now she was in my arms that my eyes slowly drooped shut and the tension I'd been carrying for almost a month started to seep away. But just as sleep started to claim me, a sudden acceleration in Bella's heartbeat from the monitor startled me awake again.

"No… No, no, please… Please, please, please… Don't… Stop…"

I frowned, unsure if I was hearing things, but as the hoarse, croaky whimpering steadily grew louder, my breath caught in my throat and my own heart started to race.

"Please, it hurts… Please… Don't let them… Our baby…"

It felt like I was being ripped apart with every word that spilled from Bella's lips, but I didn't know what to do. Memories of Bella waking me up from a nightmare of my own and the consequences of it still haunted me, and even though there was nothing I wanted more than the ability to take her pain away, I also want to risk her hurting herself if she lashed out in self defense.

But hearing this… I couldn't bear it.

"No… God, please…" Bile rose up in my throat as she let out an agonizing cry, writhing and shaking against the bed. Unable to take it anymore, I reached out to try and gently shake her awake, but before I could touch her, her whimpers morphed into terrified screams. "EDWARD! MAKE IT STOP! PLEASE! EDWAR-!"

Bella jerked awake, her mouth open in a now-silent scream as her back arched off the bed and she clapped her hands over her lips to stop any sound escaping. I saw her jaw clench as she bit down on her palm, her eyes clamped tightly shut as tears ran down her face.

"Bella?" I murmured as softly as I could, trying not to startle her.

She shook her head fiercely, then reached out with one hand and gripped my fingers so tightly it was almost painful. She inhaled a deep but unsteady breath, then exhaled slowly, visibly forcing herself to calm down. It was unnerving to see; I knew her well enough to tell when she was distraught, upset or deeply troubled, but to anyone on the outside, the mask she'd slipped into place was so well practiced that they'd never suspect anything.

Seeing her deploy that mask in front of _me_ so quickly made a chill run down my spine.

"Baby…" I gently reached up and tried to pull her hand away from her mouth, but all I managed to do was make more tears spill from her eyes as a whimper caught in the back of her throat.

_What the hell had they done to her?_

"Sweetheart, it's okay," I murmured, then gently but firmly forced my fingers beneath hers, taking her hand in mine and slowly pulling it away from her lips. The realization that she'd bitten hard enough to draw blood made me feel sick; she was causing herself pain to remain silent. "You don't have to hold it in anymore."

She breathed out forcefully through her nose, keeping her lips locked together as she stared up at the ceiling. Seeing her so fragile sent a tidal wave of guilt crashing over me. Even though I hadn't been the one torturing her, it was still my fault. I had done this. I hadn't fought hard enough for her… for all three of us. And she was the one paying the price.

"Please look at me." _Let__ me __see __you, __beautiful. __I __need __you._

She squeezed her eyes shut and gripped my hand as tightly as she could. I reached up to run my fingertips down her face, trying to soothe her pain the only way I could, but she shook her head again.

"Bella…" My voice cracked as I spoke, and a shudder ran through her body before she finally turned and looked at me through tearful eyes.

"_I__'__m __sorry_…" she mouthed.

"Don't. You have _nothing_ to be sorry for, baby. It's not your fault." _It__'__s__ mine._

I wiped away the tear that slipped down her cheek, willing her to believe me. She tilted her face towards my hand, then kissed my palm before rolling onto her side to get closer to me. I lifted my arms so that I could embrace her properly, and she didn't hesitate to press herself against my side.

I held her as tightly as I dared, sliding my hands over her back and kissing her temple, but it still wasn't close enough for her. She fisted her hands in my t-shirt and buried her face in my neck, breathing me in for a few moments. A soft moan escaped her throat, and she raised her head from my neck to look me in the eyes.

Her gaze flicked to my lips for only a second, but I knew her well enough to realize what she wanted. Meeting her halfway, I slowly leaned in, barely stifling a groan as she pressed her lips to mine. Her hand moved up into my hair as her lips gently coaxed mine to part, and this time I couldn't contain my body's reaction.

"Sweetheart," I murmured against her lips. If she moved her leg even slightly, she'd feel what that simple kiss had done to me, and I didn't want her to interpret it the wrong way. I wasn't after sex of any kind here; my body just reacted the way it usually did when I was this close to her.

Before I could explain, her hand clenched into a fist in my hair and she kissed me harder, silencing me completely. It wasn't until a few more tears dropped from her eyes and I felt her start to withdraw into herself that I realized what I'd done. _Fuck._

"Baby," I breathed, but she started to roll onto her back. I gripped her hip and shifted my body towards her, refusing to let her put that mask back up.

"I wasn't telling you to stop," I told her softly. "Please, baby…"

She closed her eyes at my words, clearly not believing me.

"I love you." I gently kissed her again. "Never doubt that."

Her hands tentatively gripped my shirt as I pressed my lips back onto hers, pouring as much passion and love as I could into the kiss. A light moan bubbled at the back of her throat in surprise, and a shudder ran through her as I gently slipped my hand up her back, holding her to me.

I wanted to tell her I missed her… That being apart from her was unbearable… But that would make it sound like she'd simply been on vacation, not held prisoner for three plus weeks and…

_Tortured._ The thought was like acid in my brain. _She__'__d__ been __tortured._

"Fuck, Bella…" Her hand slid into my hair, fisting it as I pressed my lips harder onto hers. "I thought I'd…" My emotions started to get the better of me, and I couldn't get the words out. "If I'd lost…"

Bella shook her head fiercely, refusing to let me continue, and shifted herself so she was partially on top of me. My hands immediately dropped to her hips, holding her against me as I tentatively teased the tip of her tongue with mine. She whimpered softly, letting her free hand run up my chest. We were reconnecting the only way we could… Through touch.

"_Edward__…_" It was barely more than a whisper of a breath against my lips, but the half-pained, half-relieved groan that rumbled from my chest in response was anything but quiet.

_My__ name. __The __first__ thing __she__ willingly __said __was _my name_._

"Oh, God… Bella…" Cupping her cheeks in my hands, I gently pushed her back a little so that I could gaze into her eyes. They were still teary, but some of the light within them that had been all but extinguished had started to return, making me smile in relief.

She stared at me for a moment, frowning. With a sad sigh, she raised her hand to my face, then traced the dark circles under my eyes with her fingertips.

"_You__'__re__ exhausted,_" she mouthed.

I smiled sadly. "So are you."

Her gaze flicked up to mine, and I saw more tears well in her eyes, but before they could fall, she buried her face against my neck and snuggled as close to me as possible.

I carefully wrapped my arms around her, trying not to put too much pressure on her back. I didn't think I'd held her too tightly before, but just in case I had, I needed to be cautious. She hummed softly against my skin, and I felt her breathing gradually calm as her body relaxed against mine. Her fingertips traced random patterns on my chest, soothing me as well as her.

We laid there in silence for a long time, but it wasn't uncomfortable or awkward. I didn't think it would have been, but it was still a slight relief to know that at least that hadn't changed. On some level, we were still us. We were still strong. Still together. Still in love. Even if it was only just for now, before the dust settled and she realized whose shoulders the blame for what happened to her fell upon.

A soft knocking on the door broke the silence, and Bella immediately lifted her head, her eyes widening with fear. I gently ran my hand up her back to try and calm her, even though I knew the motion was futile. She was in defense mode now.

"Who is it?" I called, keeping my tone even.

"It's Mary. Linda asked me to come down with the ultrasound machine so you can hear and hopefully see your baby."

Bella looked to me, silently asking if it was actually Mary. I didn't know for sure, but I trusted that this place was secure. I had to.

"Come on in, Mary," I called, still keeping my gaze fixed on Bella's. She relaxed a little, seeing how calm I was, but still startled slightly when the door opened and Mary walked in, pulling a trolley with some equipment on it behind her. I rested my hand on the outside of Bella's uninjured thigh, trying to keep her grounded.

"Hello, Bella. Edward," she murmured, smiling reassuringly at us as she slowly approached. "How are you feeling?"

Bella shot me a glance.

"Tired," I answered for her. Mary nodded in understanding.

"I'll try and make this as quick as I can so you can get back to resting, I promise," she assured us. "Bella, would you mind laying on your back and lifting your gown to just below your breasts for me, please? Edward, you can sit on the bed beside her, don't worry."

Mary turned her back on us and busied herself setting up the equipment, giving us some much appreciated privacy.

"Bella?" She gazed at me, looking a little worried. I smiled and gently pushed her hair back behind her ear. "It's okay, sweetheart. I'll be right here the whole time, okay?"

She nodded, then allowed me to carefully roll her onto her back. She grimaced a little, but once I adjusted the pillows to support her better, some of the tension she was carrying seemed to lighten.

Taking care not to brush against her thigh, I pulled the sheets away from her body, leaving her feet covered so they didn't get cold. I hesitated a moment, unsure of what to do, then turned away from her a little, averting my gaze.

Bella exhaled something close to a laugh, then reached out and took my hand, gently tugging me to face her again.

"_Don__'__t__ be __silly,__"_ she mouthed, smiling slightly. "_You__'__ve__ seen __it __all __before.__"_

I sighed softly, unable to stop myself from smiling back at her. _There__'__s __my __girl._

I sat down on the side of the bed, facing her, then carefully began to pull up her gown. My fingers seemed to be working independently of my brain, for as I reached her knees, they slowly trailed along the skin of her thighs until my right hand met bandage.

I inhaled sharply at the same moment Bella's hand reached down and gripped mine, a frown marring her features. I muttered an apology and tried to move my hands away, but she held my right one in place. She didn't seem in pain like I initially feared; her expression was one of confusion more than anything else.

"Bella?" I murmured. She looked up, seeming a little startled, then let go of my hand, her cheeks flushing slightly.

"_Sorry_."

"Is everything okay?" Mary's voice cut me off before I could ask Bella what was wrong, and I quickly nodded, pulling the gown the rest of the way up.

"Now, the gel is going to be a little cold, but…" Mary trailed off, and I didn't understand why until I looked away from the equipment and back at Bella.

Her face was suddenly white, and she looked absolutely terrified, her eyes darting from her stomach to the screen and back again. When I gently murmured her name, she finally broke the chain and looked at me. The fear and grief in her eyes tore me to pieces.

"_I__…"_ She looked at the screen again and whimpered softly, clamping her eyes shut.

"Bella?" I gently took her hand in mine, and she instantly clung on for dear life, her fingers trembling slightly. _Oh, __baby__…_

"What…" Mary looked at me, silently asking what was wrong.

"They told her she'd…" My voice was barely louder than a whisper and I couldn't bring myself to finish the sentence. Mary's eyes went wide for a moment before her expression became soft.

"Bella? Sweetheart?" she murmured. "Your baby is fine, I promise. Will you let me show you him or her?"

Bella opened her eyes, allowing several tears to escape, then looked up at me with a pleading expression on her face. I had no idea what to say; only seeing the scan would make her believe.

"Baby…" I cupped her cheek with my spare hand, and a shudder ran through her body.

"_Kiss __me?__" _She mouthed as tears began to fall thick and fast. _"__Please?__"_

My chest tightened painfully and I fought down memories of the last time she had said that to me… The desperation on her face was the same, but this time I didn't hesitate. I wouldn't deny her anything ever again.

I pressed my lips to hers gently, lingering there as a small sob escaped her. Her pain… God, it was agony to watch. I felt so helpless, knowing there was nothing I could do to take it all away.

"Bella, are you ready?" Mary asked softly.

Bella whimpered, but nodded, clenching her hand in the sheets and turning her head away from the screen. She didn't flinch as the gel was applied, but let out another whimper as Mary pressed a device to her stomach. Grainy images popped up on the screen, moving constantly as Mary tried to find the baby.

My stomach twisted and I felt a lump rise in the back of my throat. _Please__… __Please__…_

"There," she finally said, smiling widely as she pointed to a tiny little blur encased in a black bubble-looking thing. "This is the head… arms… legs… You can see the heart beating right there."

Tears welled in my eyes. _Our__ baby __was __okay._

"Can we, uh… Hear?" I asked thickly, choking back emotion. Mary nodded with another smile, then pressed a few buttons and suddenly the most beautiful sound in the entire world filled the room.

Bella, who had remained frozen in my arms the entire time, suddenly pulled away and stared at the screen in shock. Her eyes lit up and her mouth fell open, and her hand slowly rose towards the screen, almost as if she were in a trance.

"Fetal heart-rate is 178," Mary murmured.

"Is that… Is that okay?" I tore my eyes away from the screen to look at Mary worriedly.

"It's really healthy," Mary assured us, smiling. "The baby looks to be about ten weeks, and is probably pretty active – you just can't feel it yet, Bella."

At the sound of her name, Bella looked at Mary with a stunned expression on her face before gazing up at me. I smiled brightly at her, lowering my lips to hers and kissing her softly.

"Can you hear that?" I breathed. "That's our baby, Bella. You kept our baby safe."

A half-pained, half-relieved moan escaped her, and I felt tension leave her body almost instantly as she finally accepted that what The Volturi had told her was a lie. The agony she'd been holding inside seeped out of her at the realization, and she squeezed my hand tightly, smiling a watery smile, then turned back to look at the screen.

"I know your ribs are a little sore, honey, but could you try and give me a cough?" Mary asked softly. Bella nodded, frowning slightly, then coughed.

The little blob… our baby… moved. Bella gasped, reaching out to touch the screen again, then smiled as she traced our baby's flailing arms and legs. I watched, transfixed, as Mary talked us through everything, but I could barely hear her over the sound of our baby's heartbeat.

My heart seemed to swell… Our baby wasn't just an abstract thing anymore… I could see and hear him or her, and it was like my chest suddenly needed to expand to hold all the love that was filling it as that little _thump-a-thump-a-thump_ held steady and true.

"Can we have pictures?" I had the sense to ask. Mary nodded, pressing another few buttons.

"Bella?" I murmured. She turned slowly, dragging her gaze from the screen, then smiled her first absolutely genuine smile, her eyes shining with tears of happiness.

"_That__'__s __our__ baby_," she mouthed. I grinned widely, gently stroking her cheeks with my fingertips.

"Yep," I sighed happily. "That's our baby."

Closing her eyes briefly, she let out a long sigh, but then her face crumpled and silent sobs overtook her.

"_I__ did__ it__… __I __actually__…" _She moaned softly, reaching out for me. "_Edward,__ I__ did __it.__"_

I nodded, holding back tears of my own as I watched everything finally sink in for her. "I'm so fucking proud of you."

She whimpered again, pressing her forehead to mine, then kissed me softly, though I could tell she needed closer contact – my girl needed my arms wrapped tightly around her, and this position just wasn't enough.

Wiping away tears, she finally looked at Mary, though not before glancing at the screen that had captured our baby's image first. "_I__'__m __sorry__… __I__… __I __need __to__…"_

Mary nodded in understanding. "Give me a moment to clean you up and I'll leave you to absorb everything."

"Can I do it?" I blurted. "I mean, it's just gel, right?"

"Yeah, of course you can," Mary replied, handing me several tissues before packing up the equipment. "I don't have the facility to print out the images from here, but if you give me half an hour, I'll have them all sorted for you."

"That's fine," I breathed. "Thank you. So much."

"You're welcome," she replied. "And congratulations."

I swear, my answering grin was so wide, my face felt like it was about to split.

_Congratulations…_

_Our baby was real… Tangible…_

Bella's grip on my arm brought me back to the moment, and I quickly wiped the gel from her stomach, unable to stop myself from leaning down and scattering kisses over her abdomen. I was so fucking happy in this tiny little bubble of time… And that happiness wouldn't go away any time soon. No, we had the rest of our lives to be happy with our baby. Because our baby was _real_.

As Mary wheeled the machine out of our room, Bella patted the space beside her on the bed with a pleading expression. I climbed in beside her immediately, rolling onto my side, and I slipped one arm beneath her, holding her as close as I dared. She was trembling, one hand clenched in my shirt, the other pressed against her lower abdomen, but I could hear her taking deep, slow breaths to try and calm herself.

Kissing the top of her head, I let a few tears slip down my cheeks, completely overwhelmed by what I had just seen. For the first time, I truly believed we would be okay. All three of us.

"I…" Bella's voice trailed off, and she seemed to flinch in pain. "I…"

"Shhh," I breathed, running my hand up and down her back to soothe her. "You don't have to speak. It's okay."

Bella pulled back a little and gazed into my eyes, settling for mouthing what she wanted to say. "_They__ wanted __me__ to __talk__… __To__ tell __them__… __But __I __didn__'__t __say __anything__… __I__… __The __cameras, __they__…"_

Every silent word seemed to cause her pain, and she began to curl up into an almost fetal position; a defensive instinct, I realized.

"_They__ b-__… __They __burned __me.__" _She started to shake, tears running down her cheeks like rivers. "_When__ I __didn__'__t __say__… __It __hurt__ so __bad. __I__ wanted __to__… __Just __so __it __would __stop__… __But__ I__ couldn__'__t__ because__ the __baby__…"_

"Oh, Bella…" It felt like I was being stabbed by thousands of knives, each one aimed directly at my heart. I needed to know this, and her telling me was a huge step, but… This was killing me.

"_Then__ they __told __me __that__… __They __said __the __baby __was__…"_ She whimpered loudly, clutching her stomach with both hands as she clamped her eyes tightly shut, like she was trying to block out the memory. "_I __wanted__ to__ die.__"_

"Sweetheart." My voice broke, and an acidic mix of guilt and rage burned in my throat.

"_I__ didn__'__t __wanna__… __Let__ you __down__… __So __I __stopped__ making __any__… __I __couldn__'__t __make __a __sound, __because__ if __I__ opened __my __mouth__… __I__'__d__ have __told __them__ everything, __just __to__ make __it __stop__… __And__ now __I __can__'__t__… __It __hurts__… __I__ want__ to __try, __but__… __I __can__'__t__… __I__'__m __so __sorry, __Edward. __I __don__'__t __wanna __let __you __down __but __I-__"_

"No," I said firmly, shaking my head as I pulled her sobbing form into my arms again. "No. You could never let me down, baby. Don't even… You are _so_ strong, Bella, and I… Fuck, I'm so sorry I didn't come back for you. I tried so fucking hard, but… I should have been there, and I wasn't, and I…"

Her lips covered mine, cutting me off with a firm kiss that sent a shudder running down my spine. We both moaned softly, emotions overwhelming us, and within seconds she was pulling me on top of her, clutching at whatever parts of me she could reach in her desperation to get closer.

Even though it hurt my shoulder, I held myself above her, making sure none of my weight rested on her for fear of causing pain. Shaking her head, she wrapped her legs around me and used the little strength she had to close some of the gap between us.

"I l-…" she croaked, then took a few deep breaths as she tried to force the words out. "I lov…"

I trailed kisses along her jaw line to calm her, hoping the calmness would help weaken that psychological barrier she was fighting to break through. She wrapped her arms around me and whimpered softly, her expression pained.

"I love…" She swallowed hard, her entire body tensing. This was so hard for her… The psychological scars she'd been left with were unimaginable, and I… _Fuck._

"I love you," she finally managed to grind out, and her body seemed to just give in in that moment, making her go limp beneath me as the exhaustion of saying those three words took hold.

"Baby, I love you, too," I breathed, kissing her lips quickly. She hummed, smiling very weakly, then let her eyes drift shut.

I started to move off her, but she shook her head, tightening her hold on me ever so slightly.

"Stay…" she breathed. "You… Safe… I feel… Safe."

I nodded in understanding, shifting my weight more to one side so my injured shoulder wouldn't give out on me, then watched as she opened her mouth to speak again.

"I'm…" Her throat seemed to close up and she lifted her hand to her neck, tears welling in her eyes again. "Ti-red."

"I know," I murmured sadly, gently brushing some hair back from her face. "You can sleep, baby. I'm right here, okay? I'll keep you safe."

"_You __alway s__do,__"_ she mouthed, smiling tearfully. "_My__ knight __in __shining __armor.__"_

I breathed out a short laugh, shaking my head. "I wasn't there when it counted. I wasn't for James, wasn't for Royce, and then…"

"_Shhh__… __It__'__s __not__ your __fault, __baby. __Stop __hating __yourself __for __this.__"_

As Bella drifted into a peaceful sleep, the bitter taste of guilt rose in my throat again, but this time, it wouldn't go away.

_Stop hating yourself. It's not your fault._

If only I could believe her.


	5. Your Nightmare Comes To Life

**A/N: Yep, I'm surprised too. Two chapters, a week apart. Not bad, huh?**

**I know a lot of people are pissed at me and have given up reading, and that's okay. The drop in reviews was a tad upsetting, but I get it. I do. I'm a shitty reviewer myself, and I know that when the author doesn't reply to you, it's disheartening, and when the author takes so fucking long to update like I did last chapter you don't really want to review because they made you wait so long.**

**I just want to say sorry for taking such a long time, but I'm going to try so hard to keep the faster updates coming.**

**I also wanna thank V for being so fucking incredible with this chapter. Thanks to her, this chapter isn't a bunch of OOC bullshit and this story has a more exciting, defined route now. Before, I had a lot of plot bunnies that were hopping around like… Well, bunnies, and I couldn't sort them out in my head. But now I know exactly where I'm going, which is always good.**

**Thanks to those of you who did review the last chapter – it means so fucking much to me, you have no idea. You guys are the motivation I need to kick my arse into gear most the time.**

**Enjoy! xx**

* * *

><p><em>Who is the betrayer? Who's the killer in the crowd? The one who creeps in corridors and doesn't make a sound...<em>

Heavy In Your Arms – Florence + The Machine

Christmas and New Years came and went. Bella and I didn't celebrate them; this wasn't how our firsts were supposed to go. There was no air of it being 'the most wonderful time of the year'. The pain of what happened was still too raw. So we simply pretended they were normal days. No presents. No kisses at midnight. Just the two of us, praying things would get better soon.

Bella's nightmares had started to occur more frequently, sometimes even happening during the short naps she needed to keep her energy levels up. She woke up screaming and disorientated, but it was becoming easier and easier for me to calm her down. My touch helped a lot, and I could only guess it was because it was something concrete. Words could be hallucinated or played by a tape, but my touch? That couldn't be faked.

Things weren't all bad. Bella had been trying to use her voice more and more, with only a little success. She still only tried to speak to me while we were alone, not even daring to make a sound whenever anybody else was in the room. But even while we were alone, no matter how hard she tried, she was barely able to get a sentence out before the fear set in and her throat closed up. The lack of progress was starting to get her down, but I was happy she was even able to speak at all.

On January 5th, Bella was taken in for surgery on her leg after being deemed strong enough to handle it. Although most of the burns on her thigh were healing by themselves, there were some serious-seeming burns within the bullet wound itself, and those were causing a major problem. The wound had effectively been cauterized, which meant some of the tissue was destroyed and therefore the healthier tissue underneath it wasn't able to repair the damage.

To try and help speed up her recovery and minimize the chances of her leg becoming infected, they were going to carry out a debridement procedure to remove the burnt flesh from her thigh, but they were hopeful that a skin graft would not be necessary and her body would heal on its own.

Hopeful. Not certain.

She'd barely left my sight since I'd got her back – I even helped her use the restroom when she needed it because her leg was too weak to hold her weight – and it had taken a lot of deep, slow breathing into a paper bag to calm me down enough to think straight after they'd taken her in. Every second she was apart from me, my heart feel like it was going to race out of my chest, the panic and anxiety was so bad.

_What if they took her?_

_What if they were hurting her?_

_What if she was scared?_

_What if, what if, what if?_

Of all people, Emmett was the one who managed to calm me down. Instead of speaking to me like a child, he distracted me with mundane, silly questions about Bella and I and talked about himself and Rosalie, keeping my mind off Bella's surgery until they finally wheeled her back into our room.

Things were still a little strained between the two of us, but I knew that I owed him. Big time. He'd been the one to carry Bella to the gurney… The one who had fought to get Carlisle to save her… He was part of the reason my Bella and our baby were still alive, and everything else no longer mattered. The only problem was that he didn't seem to know how to act around me.

Nobody did.

Rosalie had visited once or twice, but only stayed for a short while at a time, not wanting to '_intrude__'_ or '_get__in__the__way__'_ of anything. Bella was constantly tired, but she always talked to Rose while she was there. I wondered if Carlisle had said anything about what had happened when Bella woke up and pushed him from the room, but deep down, I knew it was probably because of me.

My protective instincts were on overdrive, and I hated letting anyone near her, even though I knew how irrational it was. I just didn't want Bella to get hurt again, and everyone had turned into a threat. I didn't know these people, not really. Bella did, but I'd been in a black hole for four years, and I knew how quickly alliances could change. Whether it be out of greed, fear, or a desire for revenge that drove them, people could flip without warning. And I couldn't risk that happening. Not with Bella. Not with our baby. No fucking way.

Once Bella was settled back in to our room, I moved to her side and took her hand in mine, silently checking her over for any new wounds or marks. Her leg was freshly bandaged, as I expected, but nothing else seemed out of place. I breathed a sigh of relief, then turned to face Aimee. I trusted her more than most of the other doctors here – she was the one I heard when they brought Bella in that first time, and I _saw_ her help save Bella's life. That was more than I could say for the others.

"Bella's surgery went well," she told me, smiling. "There were no complications and we managed to remove all the burned tissue. The wounds weren't as deep as we first thought, and the damage was actually pretty isolated, so we're positive she won't require skin grafting. We'll obviously need to keep a close eye on her to ensure she doesn't develop any infections, but it's looking good at the moment."

"Oh, thank God." I lowered my head and kissed Bella's hand, feeling relief flood through me. "Thank you so much."

"I'm just doing my job," she replied, laughing.

"The baby was okay, too?" I checked. "No effects from the anesthesia or surgery?"

"Baby was perfect," she assured me. "You have absolutely nothing to worry about."

I nodded, turning my attention back to Bella, and smiled to myself. The cuts and bruises on her face were already healing, and her cheek, which had been swollen, was now almost back to normal. She looked beautiful, as always, but those marks had been reminders of what had happened, and now that they were fading, it felt like a weight was slowly lifting from my shoulders. I'd never forget what happened, of course, but that physical proof being gone just… made things more normal.

"How are you feeling, Edward?" Aimee asked softly as she sat on the edge of Bella's bed, facing me.

"Good," I replied truthfully. I hesitated a moment, then admitted, "I had a bit of an anxiety attack when she went in, but… I'm okay now."

She bit her lip, as if contemplating something. "Edward, have you… spoken to anyone?"

"About?"

She sighed, bracing herself. "I know your top concern is Bella and the baby. I get that. Truly, I do. But… You've been through a trauma, too."

I scoffed. _Trauma._ Torture, both mental and physical was 'trauma'. Being free from Hell and pretty much just sitting on my ass planning to break Bella out for three weeks? Definitely not.

"Edward… Have you even been to physio for your arm?" Aimee knew the answer to that as well as I did. Taking my silence for the admission that it was, she continued, "Didn't think so. You can't keep doing this to yourself, Edward. I know you and Bella have been sharing the bed on occasion, but the rest of the time, you're sleeping in that chair, and I…"

"I'm fine in the chair," I told her. "I don't need another bed – I'm not a patient. I just need Bella to get better. My arm can wait."

"And what will happen months down the line when your baby is born?" Aimee countered. "You keep going the way you're going, you won't be able to carry your baby as your arm will be fucked. I know it may feel fine now, but your wound is still healing; you have only slightly limited mobility at the moment, but it _will_ get worse. And worse. And worse."

"They said PT was optional, not essential." I sighed, rubbing my thumb across the backs of Bella's fingers. _What__ was __up __with __everyone __trying __to __push__ me __into __this __shit?_

"Not essential, but highly recommended," Aimee corrected. "Look, I know that you're terrified at the thought of leaving Bella even for a second, but you can't just push your own needs-"

"Are we done here, Doc?" I cut across. I'd had enough of the lectures now. Everyone was at it. Trying to guilt trip me, bribe me, blackmail me… It wasn't going to work. Bella was the one who had been tortured here, not me. "Nothing else you need to tell me about Bella and her recovery?"

"Edward, don't do this…"

"I'm _fine_," I ground out, even as my shoulder twinged. Fucking traitor. "Please, just leave me alone."

Aimee shook her head, obviously pissed. _That __makes__ two__ of__ us,__ Doll._

"I want to just… Please… Let me be with Bella. She's going to wake up soon and… I want to say hello in private."

It was a lame, half-baked excuse, but it was all I could come up with. Aimee sighed loudly, hesitated, then finally left, letting the door click shut behind her.

I was acting like an over-protective ass. I knew that. I appreciated that she was only trying to help me, but couldn't she see? I didn't need help. Bella did.

There were moments… tiny little flecks of time… where I wanted to scream. Bella could be asleep or just laying there quietly, and I'd see a flash of pain on her face, or she'd frown or look upset… And all the rage and guilt just bubbled up inside of me like a volcano about to erupt. I wanted to rip Jane and Alec apart, limb from limb. I wanted to stick my hand through the chests of James, Aro and all those motherfuckers in the compound and rip their blackened hearts out. I wanted to make them pay for what they'd done to Bella.

But I knew that if anyone were to blame here, it was me. I was the one she came for. I was the one she fell in love with. I was the one she sacrificed herself for. I was the one who got her pregnant and made it so she couldn't give in. I was the one who got to walk away from it all with nothing more than a shoulder injury. I was the one who didn't try hard enough to get to her. And I was the one who believed her lie.

Whenever people used to say '_I__'__d__ trade__ places__ with__ X__ in__ a__ heartbeat_', I used to roll my eyes at how ridiculous it was. Nobody would willingly choose to get tortured like that. Maybe if two people were captured, one would want to protect the other, but deep down people are always glad that it wasn't them. But that's not the proper thing to say.

For the first time in my life, I finally understood what that meant. If I could go back, I would make sure I was the one who was tortured. I would rather have died in there than see Bella's pain. I've killed, I've lied, I've hurt, I've stolen… If anyone deserved to be punished, it was me.

The guilt was eating away at me, and sometimes it was so bad, it almost consumed me…

But then, as soon as they came, those moments would go, and I'd be left hating myself even more. I knew it wasn't healthy, but some part of me felt like I deserved to feel this emotional pain as penance for Bella's physical pain. And another part of me was too proud to give Carlisle the satisfaction of being right.

"Edward?"

I startled, shocked to hear Bella's voice.

"Edward?" she moaned again, squeezing my hand as she blearily opened her eyes.

"I'm here, baby," I murmured, moving to sit on the edge of her bed and running my fingertips down the side of her face. She blinked slowly, looking mildly panicked.

"_Where__… __Where__ am__…_" She frowned, then grimaced in pain as she shifted her legs.

"You're in the medical centre," I reminded her. Panic seized me for a second, but then I realized the anesthesia had probably made her a little disorientated.

Bella nodded in acceptance and glanced around, searching for some water.

"Here." I slipped the straw into her mouth, holding the glass steady as she took a few sips.

"_Thank__ you_," she mouthed, then laid flat against the pillows with a heavy sigh.

"How are you feeling?" I asked softly.

"_Groggy_."

"The surgery went well, and they think your leg's going to heal perfectly," I told her, smiling. The corners of her lips turned up in a half-smile and she let out a breathy laugh.

"_That__'__s__ good,__ '__cause __it __hurts __like __a __bitch_." she replied, grimacing again. She was trying to make light of the situation, but it wasn't really working. I could see right through her.

The doctors had warned us the pain could be worse to begin with, but the fact she was hurting in the first place just… I pushed the thoughts away.

Bella sighed softly and laid there for a few minutes, clearly trying to get rid of the grogginess from the anesthesia. I gently stroked her stomach as I waited, smiling to myself as I felt the tiny little bump there.

Even though it had only been around two weeks since we'd got her back, the diet the doctors had put her on and the vitamins she'd been given had really made a difference. She no longer had that awful gaunt, pale look about her – although she was still very thin, her cheeks were a little plumper and had a faint, rosy glow, and her stomach… God, I fucking adored it. It was clearly a baby bump, not just bloating or a product of the weight she'd gained. That tiny roundness was our baby.

I heard Bella exhale softly, and her hand gently covered mine. I looked up at her, surprised to see her watching me with an almost wistful smile on her face.

"_How__'__s__ the__ baby?_"

"Little B is fine," I assured her, linking our fingers.

"_Little __B?__"_ She frowned.

I shrugged. "Google says that if the baby's heartbeat is high, they're more likely to be a girl, so…"

"_I__'__m_ _pretty __sure __that__'__s __just__ a-__ Wait, __you __actually __Googled__ that?__"_

"I ordered _What__ To__ Expect __When __You__'__re __Expecting_ off Amazon as well," I joked. She laughed croakily, smiling wider this time.

"I just… It feels weird just calling them '_the __baby__'_ all the time, you know?" I admitted.

"_Is __this __your __way __of__ telling __me __you __want__ to __start __picking __out __names?__"_

Our gazes met, the normalcy of our conversation surprising us both. Instead of over-thinking it, I just let myself follow the stream of consciousness we were on.

"Well, I know we've got a few months left, but there are a _lot_ of names out there to choose from, so…" My tone was light, and I silently prayed she'd absorb herself in this too. We needed a break from the heavy. She simply gazed at me for a few moments, biting her bottom lip, then blinked and looked down at our joined hands.

"_I__'__ve__ got__ a __few__ I__ like.__"_

"You've already thought about this?" I smiled, squeezing her hand gently. She nodded, her smile not quite meeting her eyes.

"_I__'__ve__ had __a __lot __of __time__ to __think.__"_

I swallowed hard, but before I had the chance to say anything, she gazed up at me again.

"_I__ think __I__'__d__ like __to __have __Charlie __involved __in __the __boy__'__s __name,__"_ she told me, drawing circles on the palm of my hand. "_For__… __my__ dad. __He __was __never __one __for __being __sentimental, __but __if __it __weren__'__t__ for __him__… __I __probably __would __never __have __met __you.__"_

"I think we would have found a way. Somehow," I murmured. "Isn't that what they always say? When two people are meant to be together, they'll somehow always find their way to each other."

Smiling more genuinely this time, she reached up and cupped my cheek in her hand. I leaned down and kissed her gently, sighing softly as her lips parted, her tongue carefully teasing my own.

I broke the kiss with a happy, breathless laugh, moving backwards so I could look at her again. Her eyes had lit up, and she looked like the old Bella for a second, the one that was full of life and happy.

"_I__'__d,__ um__…" _She let out a shaky sigh, blushing slightly._ "__I__'__d__ also __like __Elizabeth,__ if __the__ baby__'__s __a __girl.__"_

I froze. She tugged her bottom lip between her teeth, suddenly looking nervous. _She __remembered._

"_If__ you__'__d__ rather__ we__ didn__'__t,__ I__'__d __understand, __but__ I __know __how __much__ she__ meant__ to__ you,__ so-__"_

I cut her off with a kiss, my heart feeling like a hummingbird about to take flight.

"Yes," I whispered, nodding frantically. "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes."

Bella giggled – actually _giggled _ – as I leaned over, guiding her back onto the bed as I kissed her over and over again. Her arms wrapped round me tightly, one of her hands sliding under the back of my t-shirt while the other slipped into my hair, urging me closer.

"Your leg," I murmured, trying to keep my weight off of her. She smiled and rolled her eyes, then pulled me down with surprising force, nearly making me fall straight into the bed with her.

"Easy," I breathed against her lips. Bella nodded, keeping our kisses passionate but not forceful as we let ourselves enjoy the moment of normalcy. Unable to resist, I slowly trailed kisses a long her jaw line, and when she tilted her head to the side, I moved on to her neck, gently pressing my lips to the delicate skin there.

Bella moaned softly when my lips grazed that little area just below her ear, then guided my lips back to hers, her kisses slowing yet somehow becoming more intense. Making sure I never moved completely on top of her, I followed Bella's lead as she carefully shifted to the side, giving me more space. I was completely on the bed now, almost diagonally across her, which allowed me to get closer and hold myself above her without putting too much strain on my arms.

One of her hands slid higher up my back, bringing my t-shirt with it, and her good leg bent at the knee, brushing against my hip in the process. I shifted my weight to my stronger arm, then let my hand rest against that leg, just above her knee. She moaned softly at my touch, and my eyes were immediately drawn to hers. She smiled shyly.

"_Feels __good,__"_ she mouthed. Watching her face carefully for a reaction, I slowly let my hand move higher up her outer thigh, marveling at how, even through her hospital gown, my fingertips still felt like they were pulsing with electricity.

Bella bit her lip again, though this time it wasn't due to nerves or anxiety… Smiling, she shifted her leg higher against me until her knee was almost at my waist, then inhaled sharply as the movement caused my hand to slip further up, towards her ass.

Our lips met then, the kiss long and slow, like we had all the time in the world.

"I love you," she whispered, barely a tremble in her voice.

"I love you, too," I murmured, then let my hand move those few more inches to cup her ass, making her moan a little louder than before. I didn't linger long, instead choosing to let my hand trail further up the outside of her body, touching her hips, her waist, her ribcage… learning her new shape.

"Edward." The word was quiet and soft, but I still heard it. She pulled my lips down to hers, letting our tongues meet as her fingers curled in my hair.

And just like that, the moment was broken.

"Edward?"

Bella startled, her eyes filling with panic.

"It's Em."

I moved off Bella and cleared my throat before calling, "Come in, Em."

The door was gently pushed open, and the bright light from the hallway flooded in, making me wince a little. The lights had been dimmed in here to maximize Bella's comfort when she awoke, so the sudden influx was a little painful.

"Can I have a word?" he asked calmly.

"Yeah, sure." Emmett tilted his head slightly, and I instantly realized what he meant. He wanted to speak to _me_. Not us.

Panic settled in my gut, but I tried not to show it.

"Back in a sec, baby," I murmured, kissing Bella softly to reassure her, then walked over to the door.

"Can we… outside?" Emmett's eyes darted over to Bella.

"I don't wanna leave her," I replied apologetically. Emmett nodded in understanding, then lowered his voice even further.

"We're on lockdown," he told me. "James escaped from the holding cell in Idaho. Four feds and two of our guys are dead, and we think he must have had help."

"How long?" I managed to force out, despite the building fear and rage inside me.

"He's got about four hours on us," Emmett replied. My heart sank. "He got out right after the shift change. Wasn't until the next shift showed up that they discovered…"

"Fuck." My mind started to race.

"Yeah." Emmett sighed heavily. "Carlisle wanted me to keep this under wraps, but… There's more."

"What?"

"We think he's coming for Bella."

My mouth went dry and I felt like I was about to be sick. Emmett pulled a folded up photo from his pocket and placed it in my trembling hands.

_Tell my petite putain I'll see her in the OR._

"Is that…"

"Blood." Emmett's disgust was clear in his tone. "The fucker used it to write on the wall."

"OR… Oregon?" I swallowed hard, trying to wrap my head around it, but then another thought, more terrifying and heart-stopping, hit me. "The OR stands for Operating Room. Bella just had surgery."

Emmett nodded. "Carlisle's put us on lockdown while we try and track James down, but…"

"He couldn't have known about the surgery unless we had a leak." Rage, red hot and fierce, spread through me. "Fucking Carlisle. He had _one_ thing to do. _One__ thing!_ And he gets a _rat_ infestation instead?_"_

"Edward…"

"I have to get her out of here." I tried to keep my voice down, but panic was starting to set in and rational thought was threatening to evaporate. "I have to… We can't…"

"I know," Emmett replied, placing his hand on my arm. "Rosie and I… We'll go with you. I'm not putting her at risk like this, especially when we're sitting ducks, holding on to four of the things they desperately want back."

"Four?" I frowned, but then realization hit. "Alec and Jane are still here?"

Emmett nodded again. I glanced back at Bella, who was sitting up in bed with a worried expression on her face. _Fuck,__ fuck,__ fuck,__ fuck, __fuck._

"Grab her meds, get her dressed, and wait here, okay? I'll get Rose and find some keys. We'll sneak out."

_Sitting__ ducks__… __We__ were__ sitting__ ducks__… _But could I trust Emmett? This could be a trap.

No. I had to trust him. I had to trust Bella's instincts. The danger here… It was too much.

I nodded. Emmett took one final glance over my shoulder at Bella and hurried from the room, leaving me to shut the door and lock it behind him.

I took a deep breath, let it go, then turned to face Bella.

"_Edward?__" _she mouthed as I quickly headed over to the bed and pulled her clothes from the bag Carlisle had sent down for us a week previously. I threw her clothes onto my chair, then began putting all her medication in the now-empty bag along with a few bottles of water from the cabinet beside her, thanking the Gods the doctors had decided to store her meds in here for easy access.

Bella's hands reached out and grabbed hold of my arm, her panic evident even from that one touch.

"Come on," I murmured, turning and gently pulling her across the bed towards me. "We need to get you dressed."

"_What__'__s __going __on?__"_ Her eyes were wide and her breaths were coming in short pants.

"We have to go," I told her, hurriedly pulling her gown over her head before handing her her bra.

Bella put it on without hesitation, then allowed me to help her with her top. _"__Edward?__"_

I debated for a moment, unsure of just how much to say, then pulled the sheets away and carefully slipped her panties up her legs. "James has escaped our custody."

Bella inhaled sharply, and her breathing started to speed up. Her hands grappled for my arm and clung on tight.

"We're gonna get you out of here, okay?" I tried to sound reassuring, but the urgency with which I pulled the loose sweatpants up her legs gave me away.

"Shoes," I muttered, slipping them on her feet before putting my own on and picking up the bag. Once I was sure I had everything, I sat down beside her and took her hands in mine.

"Breathe, Bella," I murmured. "Rose and Emmett are coming with us; they're just getting us a car, alright? Carlisle's put us on lockdown, so we're gonna have to-"

Sirens suddenly blared, and Emmett burst into the room with a terrified Rosalie standing right behind him.

"We need to go. Now."


	6. Adrenaline

**A/N: Two weeks between updates? Not as good as last time, but better than before, right?**

**Thank you so much for all your reviews last chapter. You guys really… You make me want to do this. For myself and for you. I know I don't reply to your reviews often if at all, but please know that I read and adore every single one of them, and they mean the world to me.**

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* * *

><p><em>Here's your ticket, pack your bags, time for jumpin' overboard.<em>

Burning Down The House – Talking Heads

"What the fuck's going on?"

"Get my gun," Emmett ordered quietly. "Belt. Right-hand side."

Jogging to keep up with Emmett, I fumbled to get the gun from its holster, careful not to jostle Bella, who was held tightly in his arms. Against my better judgement, I'd let him carry her as my shoulder was feeling incredibly weak after holding my own weight up, which left me in charge of defense, though I had no idea what I was defending us against.

"Rosie, get behind me."

Rosalie shot me a terrified look, but did as Emmett said anyway. _What __the __hell__…_

"Bells, can you swipe my card through the reader, please?" he asked softly, though his tone carried a hint of urgency. Once Bella had done as he'd asked, Emmett kicked open the door, then headed for the staircase it revealed, powering down them at a surprising rate.

"Emmett?" I called as he got Bella to open another door and hurried through it. "What the fuck is happening?"

"There's been a breach in the holding bay," he replied, turning to look at me as we reached another door.

_Oh, my God. Alec and Jane._

"A breach." I repeated hoarsely. _I__ should __have __killed __the __mother fuckers __when__ I __had __the __chance._

Emmett gave me a pointed look, then signaled for Bella to swipe the card.

"Rose?" Emmett gestured to the door, silently asking her to pull it open for him. He smiled gratefully, then turned sideways as he began to walk through the door. "The emergency exit door is just across the-"

Gunfire rang out and Emmett groaned loudly as he threw himself back through the doorway, almost dropping Bella in the process.

"Rosie, door!" he gasped as he dropped to his knees.

Rosalie slammed the door shut as Emmett bowed over, panting through the pain. Bella pulled herself from his arms and scrambled back against the wall, her face white as a ghost's and terrified. Blood seeped through her t-shirt, but I knew it wasn't hers. She was in shock, but unharmed.

"Emmett?" Rosalie was trembling uncontrollably, searching desperately for injuries. Emmett was trying to keep a brave face, but he was pale and sweating, clutching his side as he tried not to scream in agony.

"Rosalie, calm Bella down," I told her firmly but calmly. She shook her head, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Rosie," Emmett managed to whisper. It took him a lot of effort, that much was clear. "Please."

Rose let out a quiet sob, then hurried over to comfort Bella, who was staring blankly at the ground. I was torn, my heart begging me to go and check if she was okay, my head telling me I needed to tend to Emmett first. He was our escape route.

"Emmett?" I placed my hand lightly on his shoulder. He grunted in response. "Where's the pain?"

He moved his hands, and I inhaled sharply. _Ribcage._

"Fuck," I muttered. Blood was saturating his shirt and blocking my view of the wound, but the moment I tried to move the fabric out of the way, he groaned again. "Shit, shit, shit."

"Breath sounds…" he gasped, grimacing as he tried to force the words out. "Clear and equal. I'm fine."

"Emm-"

"If… you want… to get out… of here…" He looked up at me, breathing hard, his eyes focused and fiery despite the pain. "We need… to go…"

"How? You said…"

"Up from underneath…" he ground out, then clenched his jaw hard as more pain hit him.

"Can you stand?"

Dread settled in the pit of my stomach. Déjà vu. We'd been here before…

_No. not this time._

Emmett smiled, though it came out as more of a pained grimace. "Of course."

I squeezed his shoulder, nodding, then moved over to Rosalie and Bella.

"Rose, I need you to help Emmett for me, okay?" I murmured as I pulled my shirt over my head and handed it to her, thanking God I was wearing two layers. "I'll help him to his feet, but I need you to then help him walk, alright? Press the shirt to the wound to stifle the blood flow. It will hurt, but we need to stop him from losing too much blood. Can you do that for me?"

Rosalie nodded, her eyes wide and fearful.

"Bella?" She didn't respond. _Fuck._

I stood up and walked back towards Emmett. "You ready?"

Emmett glared at me as if to say '_what__ do__ you__ think?__'_, then allowed me to carefully help him to his feet, crying out in pain as I hauled him up. He doubled over, barely able to stand, but Rosalie was already there supporting him, taking some of his weight as she pushed the shirt against the wound.

The two of them carefully shuffled over to the staircase, and once I was sure they would be able to manage, I headed back towards Bella and crouched down beside her.

"Bella?" I brushed some of the hair back from her face. She didn't even blink. "Baby?"

Slowly, her eyes moved to mine, and a shudder ran down her spine.

"I'm gonna lift you up, okay?"

She nodded infinitesimally, allowing me to slip my arms underneath her. My shoulder groaned in protest, already over-used from holding up my weight and then Emmett's, but I ignored it. I would not let my own weaknesses fail us. Not now. Not ever. What happened in the compound would _never_ occur again.

I lifted Bella with little effort, ignoring the way my shoulder grinded harshly as I settled her in my arms and began to carefully walk down the stairs, increasing my pace to get us out of here as soon as possible. Although nobody had followed us, we weren't safe yet.

To my surprise, Rosalie and Emmett were already halfway down the hallway which I presumed ran directly underneath the one we were meant to cross, moving at a fairly fast but staggered pace.

"How much further?" I called as I approached them.

"Elevator," Emmett groaned, and they both slowed to a stop, allowing him to lean heavily against the wall. "Bells… Need card."

"Baby?" I murmured. She looked up at me, her eyes slightly unfocused like she was being drawn into her memories. "Hey."

She blinked.

"I need the card, sweetheart."

She held it up, and Rosalie quickly took it and swiped it on a panel on the wall. The elevator doors slid open, barely allowing us enough room to get in.

"C," Emmett panted. Rosalie pressed the button, and the elevator sprang to life, bringing us up a level in a matter of seconds.

"Rose?" I called softly. "Take the gun."

"I…" She hesitated, but did as I said anyway, holding it in her trembling hands like it was a live grenade with the pin pulled out of it.

The doors slid open just moments later, and the dark, almost empty parking lot which greeted us was eerie and unnerving.

"Black…" Emmett groaned, pointing over to a small, average looking car in one of the bays nearest to us. "Cars are… faster than… they look…"

"Keys?" I called as I carried Bella round to the front passenger side and lowered her onto the bonnet, standing between her legs to protect her. My shoulder was burning, but I didn't want to make her stand up, not when her leg was so weak and barely out of surgery.

"Here." Rosalie threw me the keys, and I unlocked the car with shaking fingers before turning to Bella.

"Baby?" I murmured. She stared blankly at me, her eyes welling up with tears. "I'm gonna get you in the car, okay?"

She didn't respond, but the moment I moved away to open the door, her hands shot out to grab me. By some miracle, I managed to get the door open without moving any further, then carefully picked her up and lowered her into the seat.

"Seatbelt," I mumbled, doing it up for her. I quickly glanced to the back seats. Rosalie had managed to get Emmett safely in, and was doing her own seatbelt up. We were good to go. "I'm just going round to the other side, alright, baby?"

Not giving her a chance to protest, I carefully shut the door and hurried round to the driver's side, quickly sliding in and shoving the keys into the ignition.

"Where to, Em?" I turned in my seat to look at him. He looked like he was in absolute agony and was leaning against Rosalie, who had her arms round him and looked absolutely distraught.

"Straight ahead," he gasped. "Tunnel only accessible from this floor. Leads out to highway." He groaned. "Exit door will open when it detects a chip in the key. Drive right up to it. Don't stop."

"Alright," I said softly. "I'll get us into Washington, and then we'll stop and get you fixed up, okay?

Emmett nodded, then grimaced. "Drive fast, man."

I started the engine. "I will, don't worry."

* * *

><p>I drove for hours, trying to get as far away from the medical centre as possible. Emmett's phone had rung dozens of times, and we'd finally switched the damn thing off, not wanting to risk them tracking us down somehow. We were lucky the gas tank was so full – we didn't have a shit-load of money on us, and the little we did have needed to be spent on food and other essentials.<p>

Once we were well over state lines, it felt a little easier to breathe. Although I didn't know the area, Rosalie and Emmett did, and were able to direct me along the fastest route towards Olympia. I checked in with Emmett as often as I could, keeping him awake as long as possible until the pain and exhaustion it caused finally took hold and lulled him to sleep.

Thankfully, The Agency cars were all fully equipped with emergency survival and first aid kits in case situations like this arose, so we were able to replace my shirt with gauze padding, which helped stem the blood flow from his wound considerably better. We would need to get the bullet out soon, but for now, it was probably stopping the bleeding from becoming worse, so we decided to leave it in until we could deal with everything properly.

Despite Emmett's worsening condition, my biggest concern was Bella. She had been staring blankly out the window for the entire journey, and the only real movements she made came from her hand, which was resting on my thigh and squeezing it occasionally, like she was reassuring herself I was still there. Something was wrong. I understood that what had happened in the medical centre must have caused flashbacks of the compound to stir within her – they had with me, too – but something deeper was going on. This wasn't just memories or the after-effects of her surgery; something much darker was causing this.

"Bella? Baby?" I took her hand in mine and lifted it to my lips, kissing her fingers, hoping that the auditory and tactile stimulation would bring her back to me.

She blinked slowly a few times, then turned her head in my direction, her eyes struggling to focus on me. I squeezed her hand, then kissed it again, glancing at her out of the corner of my eye and smiling.

"How's your leg?" I asked. I needed to keep her focused on the here and now, not revert back to staring out the window.

She stared at me for a few moments, frowned, then let her hand drop from my grasp. My heart sunk a little, but then laid her hand on my thigh, right over the spot her injury was on hers, and pressed down lightly.

"Slight ache?"

She nodded.

"That's good, baby," I murmured, feeling relief spark in me. "That's really good."

Emmett groaned softly in his sleep, reminding me that Bella wasn't the only one I had to worry about right now. We really needed to stop soon; every minute we left that wound open, the higher the chances of infection went up. _One__ thing__ at__ a__ time,__ Edward._

"I have your meds and vitamins in the bag," I told Bella as I quickly scanned the road signs up ahead, then smiled when I saw there was a gas station a little over a half mile away. "I don't want your blood sugar levels to drop, so I'm going to stop to get some supplies. Are you hungry?"

No response.

"Baby?" I covered her hand with mine again, and she blinked several times, focusing on me once again. _Give__ her __something __to __do. __Keep __her __focused._"Feel like drinking some water for me?"

She nodded, her brows furrowed slightly in thought, then opened the bag I had placed on her lap and guzzled down half a bottle pretty quickly.

"Thank you, baby," I said softly, smiling. "Don't want you getting too dehydrated."

Bella held out the bottle, offering me some. I shook my head.

"I've already had some," I murmured. "Rose?"

"I'm okay," she replied.

"You can finish it, baby." Bella nodded, then reached for my hand again, gripping it tightly.

"Rosalie?" I called softly, glancing at her through the rear-view mirror. "There's a gas station right up ahead. I'm gonna need you to wake Emmett for me, okay? We've got to get his chest sorted out before we go any further."

"Where are we gonna go?" she asked. I was wondering the same thing.

"I don't know, but I _will_ find somewhere," I promised as I pulled into the empty station and stopped beside a pump. "I'm gonna go get us the stuff. Rose, keep the gun, and if anything suspicious happens…"

She nodded in understanding, taking the gun from me and placing it on the seat beside her.

As I turned to leave, Bella gripped my thigh painfully tightly, a panicked expression on her face. I twisted in my seat and took both her hands in mine, trying to reassure her.

"Bella, you'll be able to see me the whole time, baby." I leaned forwards and captured her lips with mine. She was trembling slightly, clearly terrified. "Rose will keep you safe while I'm gone. Won't you, Rose?"

"Of course," Rosalie replied, forcing a smile. She was nervous, but I could tell her worry for Emmett would drive her into defense mode, should anything happen.

Bella didn't look convinced, but I knew that I had to do this; the four of us were a team now, and Emmett had waited long enough.

"I love you," I whispered, then kissed Bella once more before climbing out the car, ignoring her desperate hands as they tried to stop me leaving.

Keeping an eye out for any approaching cars, I filled the tank, then headed into the store, browsing the shelves for what we needed. Food, water… The strongest pain killers available…

I grabbed a bottle of cheap alcohol and headed over to the counter to pay. Emmett was probably going to need it to get through the process of cleaning and bandaging the wound.

As the guy rang up the stuff, I kept a watchful eye on the road leading in to the station. Very few cars would be out this time of night, which meant it was even more important than ever to pay attention to the ones that were. I was painfully aware of the fact we could be being followed, but Emmett had assured me there was no GPS system in the car, and I'd been on look-out for a tailing vehicle the entire time with nothing setting off alarm bells. But that didn't mean we were safe; all it took was one slip up and they'd be on us like rabid wolves.

Once everything was paid for, I hurried back to the car and climbed in, placing the bag of supplies down by Bella's feet. She instantly looked relieved, even shooting me a quick half-smile as I did my seatbelt up.

"Hey," I murmured softly, squeezing her hand lightly before starting the engine. Bella shifted in her seat and leaned her head on my shoulder, seeming more alert than before. I kissed her hair, then looked at Rosalie and Emmett through the rearview mirror.

"How you holding up?" I asked, taking in Emmett's pained expression and the way Rosalie was still keeping pressure against his wound. If it was still bleeding…

"Please tell me you got something for me." Emmett looked paler than he had before, but I couldn't tell if that was due to blood loss, tiredness or any of the other things it could have possibly been.

"I got you pain killers and some alcohol."

"Thank fuck," he muttered.

"I thought you might need it. Chances are… you'll need sutures."

He held my gaze for a moment, then nodded, his expression one of resignation and dread. If we had to suture the wound, it would be excruciating. _Now__ he __understood__ why __I__'__d__ bought__ the __alcohol._

"We'll stop at the closest motel," I assured him.

"No," he argued. "Just find somewhere secluded and pull over. Motels equal money, surveillance cameras… It's just asking for trouble."

"Emmett…" I understood his reasoning, and I admired his determination, but at the same time…

"Edward, it'll be fine."

"No." Rosalie cut in, shaking her head. "No way. We're going to the nearest motel and sorting you out there, not in the back of a car exposed and vulnerable to attack!"

"Rosie…"

"Don't," she snapped. "You can't just turn up the charm whenever you want something from me. I'm not a fucking puppet, Emmett."

Emmett blinked, confusion etched across his face. "You think I…" He frowned deeply. "Rosalie, I'm not…"

"I know… I know. I just…" She sighed heavily and closed her eyes for a second. "Edward?"

I nodded in understanding. "I'll get us to a motel."

"Ed-" Emmett tried to protest, but I cut him off.

"No. Rosalie's right," I told him. "It's too dangerous out here, and besides, Bella needs to rest somewhere safe. She got out of surgery and rushed straight into a car; her leg isn't propped up properly, and we all could use a few hours sleep in a bed to recoup."

Emmett sighed, resigned.

"Bella?" I murmured softly, placing my hand on her leg. She lifted her head from my shoulder and looked up at me, a little startled. I smiled to try and calm her. "Can you pass me the bag by your feet, please, baby?"

She nodded quickly, then reached down and grabbed the bag. I passed the bottle of alcohol and pain killers to Emmett, then placed it back down at her feet, letting my fingertips graze her skin as I did so. Bella let out a shaky breath, her gaze flicking to my lips for a moment before a slight blush colored her cheeks.

"Hey," I breathed. Her teeth sank into her bottom lip nervously, so I gently reached over and freed it with my thumb before cupping her cheek in my hand. She smiled slightly, then leaned against my hand and closed her eyes. "We'll get somewhere safe soon, okay?"

She nodded, forcing another smile. Her mask was going up again and all those protective walls were sliding back into place; I was better at reading her now, and the way her hand cradled her ever so slightly protruding bump – our Little B – was a clear sign she was feeling defensive.

"I love you," I whispered, then kissed her softly, covering her hand with mine. "It's going to be okay."

Bella exhaled shakily, resting her forehead against my own for a moment before nodding again and sitting back in her seat, looking a little less tense than before.

Hoping that little bit of reassurance would tide her over for now, I shifted the car out of park and pulled out of the gas station, once again checking for any other cars. Our delay in leaving could have cost us dearly; if the guy at the counter was working for them…

I shook my head. I couldn't afford to dwell on things like that now. I had to focus on getting us somewhere sheltered so we could patch Emmett up and try to regroup. We had no plan at the moment. No safe haven we could head to. Nobody we could talk to. We had to figure shit out, and soon.

By some miracle, it only took us little over half an hour to finally find a motel, but by then Emmett had become even paler, and Bella seemed on the verge of slipping back into whatever memories she had been lost in before we stopped at the gas station. Since there was a chance my face could be being tracked, Rosalie hurried into the dingy reception room and quickly managed to secure us a double room for the night using less than half of what little cash we had left.

I parked the car in a spot two rooms over from us; close enough to see from the window, but far enough away for nobody to be able to make an immediate connection between the car and our room. Once Rosalie had opened the door to our room and given it the all-clear, I cut the engine and gestured for her to come over.

"Can you wait here with Bella while I help Emmett?" I asked as I climbed out.

"I can help him," she protested. I shook my head.

"Rose, he's weak, and he's pretty much pure muscle. If he falls…"

"I…" She trailed off, realizing I was right, then nodded. "Okay."

I placed my hand on her shoulder and smiled. "Thank you."

As Rosalie climbed into the driver's seat and softly began to talk to Bella, I carefully began to help Emmett out of the car, moving slowly but steadily to try and prevent jarring his injury in any way. Like I predicted, his legs almost gave out the moment he tried to stand, but I took as much of his weight as I possibly could, ignoring the pain in my shoulder as it flared up.

"Almost there, man," I promised as we made our way to the room painfully slowly. The arm which wasn't around my shoulders was wrapped tightly around his chest, and I could see that the bleeding had definitely started up again. _Fuck._

The two minutes it took to finally get Emmett on the nearest bed to the door felt like an age. He groaned with every slight movement, sweat beading at his forehead as he tried to breathe through the pain, all to no avail.

"I'll be right back, okay?" I assured him, but I didn't wait for a reply before hurrying back to the car. Rosalie met me halfway, carrying the survival kits and bag of supplies in her arms like precious life-preservers, which I supposed they kind of were.

"She needs you," she murmured as we passed, neither one of us slowing down in our urgency to get back to the ones we loved. At Rosalie's words, I broke into a run, practically throwing open Bella's door to get to her quicker.

She startled at my sudden appearance, but quickly recovered and reached out for me, tears welling in her eyes.

"Bella?"

She shook her head and wrapped her arms around my shoulders, burying her face in my neck in a silent plea to pick her up.

"Alright, baby," I breathed, sliding my arms beneath her and carefully lifting her out the car. "I've got you."

She curled up against me, trying to make herself as small as possible as I locked up the car and carried her into the room. When I reached the bed beside Emmett's, I started to lower her, but she shook her head again and clutched me tighter. She was terrified all of a sudden, but I didn't know why.

"Sweetheart, it's alright," I murmured as I sat down on the bed with her in my lap. She was trembling all over, her eyes frantically darting around the room, looking for what, I didn't know.

But then I remembered that this wasn't the first time she'd done this sort of thing.

"There aren't any microphones or cameras, baby," I told her softly. She let out a shaking breath at my words, then looked over to Emmett's shaking form as tears finally spilled over.

"_Edward, you have to help him."_

"I will." I pressed my lips to her forehead. "I'm going to put you down now, okay? I'll be right here if you need me."

I kissed her forehead once again, then carefully laid her on the bed, propping her up against the pillows so she could see me at all times. Rosalie passed me the bag of supplies and Bella's meds, then turned all her attention back to Emmett, who looked on the brink of passing out.

_Emmett. Bella. Emmett. Bella._

I quickly handed Bella a bottle of water, then gave her her pain medication along with the vitamins she needed before placing the bag of food by her side.

"Take these and try to eat something for me, please, baby," I said softly.

Biting her bottom lip, she nodded, and I shot her a weak smile before moving over to Emmett's bed and sitting down beside him.

"Fuckin' hurts," he muttered as I carefully peeled back the bloodied gauze to inspect the wound.

"I know," I sympathized. "But we're gonna get you patched up, alright? Rose, are there any scissors in that kit next to you?"

As she searched for the scissors, I lightly pressed my fingers around the wound, trying to gauge how much damage the bullet had caused. It clearly hadn't hit anything major, but that didn't mean he couldn't have internal bleeding. Relying on what little knowledge I'd gained over the years, I felt across his abdomen for any tension or rigidness. There was none. _Thank __fuck._

"Here." Rosalie handed me the scissors, and I quickly began cutting Emmett's shirt to give myself better access.

"Rose, I need, uh…" _Think,__ Masen,__ think._"Gauze. Tweezers. Saline… If there are any antiseptic wipes, get them, too. And gloves."

Once I had everything, I pulled on the gloves and carefully cleaned the area around the wound, getting rid of any blood so that I could see better.

"Okay." I turned to Rosalie. "Get on his other side and keep him calm. This is going to hurt, and I need you to keep him as still as you can for me."

"Do you know what you're doing?" she asked worriedly.

"I'm not an expert, but yeah, I think I do."

"You _think?_"

"Rosie," Emmett breathed, reaching out and taking her hand. "It's okay."

"Edward…" she pleaded. "Let's just get him to a hospital. Please."

"They'll ask too many questions," Emmett ground out. "I trust Edward."

Rosalie shifted round to his side and ran her fingers through his hair, her worry for him painfully obvious. She watched me nervously as I removed the tweezers from their sterilized container, then tensed the moment my fingers touched Emmett's skin. I exhaled deeply, trying to remain calm. If the roles were reversed and Bella was in this position, I knew I'd be just as worried as she was, but I needed her to focus on Emmett, not on me. It was making me anxious.

"Rose, please stop looking at me like that," I said softly. "Focus on Emmett. Keep him calm."

"Rosie?" Emmett turned his head in her direction, keeping her attention on him. "Talk to me, baby. Please."

"I…" She let out a shaky breath, then shook her head and looked into his eyes. "Okay. Okay. I, um… I…"

"Just say anything. I don't care. I need your voice."

"I… went to London once." She swallowed audibly, shooting me a panicked look. I smiled reassuringly and nodded, encouraging her to continue. "I was only about ten, so it's probably changed a whole lot now, but…"

As she continued to talk, I tuned her out, carefully examining Emmett's wound and trying to work out the best plan of action. The bullet needed to come out, but the wound also needed to be cleaned, and if he bled a lot…

I closed my eyes for a moment, thinking it through.

_Okay. Here goes nothing._

Using the saline solution, I carefully cleaned around the bullet, letting the liquid wash away the dried and drying blood surrounding it. Emmett flinched, but didn't say anything, so once I'd used one of the gauze pads to wipe away the solution which had run down his ribcage, I picked up the tweezers again.

Enough of the bullet was exposed for me to grip it without digging in to the wound, so I gently held it with the tweezers, then took a few deep breaths to steady myself. If my hand jerked, I could cause more damage.

_Motherfucker._

Steadying myself with my other hand, I carefully began to work the bullet out. Emmett groaned loudly, and I heard Rosalie's tone rise as she tried to keep him calm.

_Easy… Easy…_

I dropped the bullet onto a gauze pad and quickly pressed a new one onto the wound, applying pressure to stop the bleeding. Emmett moaned, his hand clenching into a fist as he breathed through it.

"Here," Rosalie murmured, passing him the bottle of vodka. Emmett laughed weakly, then gulped down a mouthful, choking slightly at the taste.

"Not too much," I warned.

He nodded in understanding, knowing just as well as I did that, although the alcohol would help take some of the pain away, it could also thin his blood and cause more bleeding.

Once the gauze had done its job and minimized the bleeding, I gently tried to coax the wound to close. It definitely wouldn't heal on its own.

_It's a fucking gunshot wound. What did you expect?_

With a heavy sigh, I looked up at Emmett. "You need sutures."

"Fuck," he groaned, though he didn't sound at all surprised by the news.

"Rose, can you pass me the suture kit?"

"Edward, I…" She shook her head and passed me the kit. "What can I do?"

"I…" I sighed heavily. "You'll need to hold him down."

"What?"

"It's going to be painful and chances are he won't be able to contain his movements. If he writhes too much…" I trailed off, knowing she'd get my point.

"Shit," she breathed, moving closer and resting her hands on Emmett's shoulders. "You've done this before, right?"

I swallowed. "No. I've only watched."

"Oh, my God." She whimpered, tears welling in her eyes again. "No. Edward, you can't."

"Nobody else can," I pointed out. "Unless you'd like to do it?"

She shook her head.

"I don't like this any more than yo-"

The word died in my throat at the sound of Bella climbing out of bed. As I turned to face her, she wobbled unsteadily on her good leg, pressing her hand against the mattress to try and support herself.

"Bella?"

She tried to hop forwards, only to over-balance. I barely managed to catch her before she fell completely, and she clutched onto my upper arms as she breathed out unsteady breaths.

When she was balanced again, she gazed up at me, her eyes showing nothing but fierce determination

"_I'll do it."_


	7. Make A Plan

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. Some of you made me laugh, others almost made me cry… I loved each and every one I received, and I'm so grateful you've taken the time to give me feedback. It truly means a lot to me.**

**V… Sweetness… You know I adore you. This story wouldn't be the same without your input; I swear you should be the one writing this sometimes.**

**Wifey… Mwah!**

**Enjoy! xx**

* * *

><p><em>Found my way back in the dark tonight; couldn't wake up not right next to you.<br>I'd trade in forever to just hear you say the sound of my name_

The Truth About Heaven – Armor For Sheep

"Edward?"

I turned at the sound of Bella's voice, and smiled despite myself as I watched her climb across the bed towards me.

"You're meant to be sleeping," I chided softly. Bella shrugged, then reached out for my hands as she carefully shifted to the edge of the bed, preparing to stand up.

"Baby…" She wasn't supposed to be standing, but I didn't really have it in me to stop her. She deserved a moment of freedom after what she'd managed to achieve earlier in the evening, and who was I to take that from her?

She had done an incredible job suturing Emmett's wound closed; she'd finished in a matter of minutes without even flinching at the sound of Emmett's groans of pain. I had been worried when she first started, half expecting her to revert back to how she'd been in the car, but my girl had remained strong, and despite her obvious exhaustion, she'd stayed alert and calm while the four of us had eaten dinner before settling down for the night.

She had been reluctant at first, wanting to stay awake for the first 'watch' duty with me, but had eventually climbed into bed at my insistence. That had been over an hour ago now, and she clearly hadn't been able to fall asleep yet.

"I can't sleep without you there," she murmured as she tucked herself against my chest, balancing on one leg to try and give her thigh a break.

With a heavy sigh, I wrapped my arms around her and kissed the top of her head, thanking whatever deities that may have been up there for giving me my Bella back, even if it was only for a while. I needed her strength to keep me from breaking down into a panic at the thought of what we were facing.

"Someone needs to keep watch," I reminded her. "And Emmett needs Rosalie, so…"

"I need _you_," she whispered, gazing up at me. I felt my chest tighten at her words.

"Baby…" I exhaled a shaky breath, bringing my hand up to stroke her cheek. Her eyes fluttered closed as she leaned into my touch.

"I just…" She swallowed audibly. "I'm not sure how long _this_ is gonna last. The fear is… It's right under the surface, threatening to swallow me back up, and if I… If I go to sleep, in the morning I might wake up unable to speak again, and… I _hate_ this, Edward."

"I know, baby," I breathed, kissing her forehead. "I know."

"I feel like a child." She pulled me closer and rested her head on my chest again with a heavy sigh. "In the medical centre, everyone was walking on eggshells around me, and I… I had nothing else to focus on but the pain and the fear and… If I even start to think about where I am or what happened earlier today, I'm gonna break, and the only thing keeping me from that is you.

"Bella…" I pressed my lips to her hair, holding her tightly to me.

"I love you," she whispered, turning in my arms and burying her face in my neck. "I'm sorry I can't… that I don't… I want to say it, but the fear just…"

She groaned softly, clenching her hands into fists against my t-shirt.

"I know you don't understand it." She let out a bitter laugh. "_I_ don't understand it. I just know that _I __can__'__t __speak._ I need to stay quiet, because if I don't something bad is gonna happen and…"

"Hey," I breathed, pulling back form her touch and cupping her cheeks in my hands, forcing her to look into my eyes. "You don't have to explain it to me, baby."

"I do," she whimpered. "Because otherwise you'll think that I don't…"

"Love me?" My eyes widened in horror. "Baby, no… No… I don't think you don't love me just because you can't say it! I _know_ you love me."

I placed my hand on her stomach, willing her to believe me. "You fought for us, baby. You kept Little B safe… you stayed quiet so I would be safe, and you wouldn't have done that if you didn't love me. I can see it in your eyes. You don't _need_ to say it."

"But I want to." Tears welled in her eyes. "I _want_ to talk to you, baby, but I… I…"

She swallowed hard.

"When they… When I was… When they had me?" She sounded so small in that moment… so fragile. "I didn't let myself speak, because I knew I'd say too much and they'd find you, and now… Now I _can__'__t_ speak because part of me still thinks that I'm going to wake up and find that this is all an amazing dream, and I'm still there and Alec and Jane are…"

"Shhh," I soothed, pulling her back into my arms and holding her tightly. "This is not a dream, sweetheart. This is real. And I love you. You know that, don't you?"

She nodded. "I do."

As she snuggled against my chest, I carefully shifted us towards the window, leaning against the wall so I could support her better.

"What changed?" I murmured softly once we were comfortable, trying to keep my tone light.

"Hmm?"

"Before, in the car… You were barely with me; your focus was on something else. But then… You were responsive again. You sutured Emmett's leg. Perfectly." I kissed the top of her head. "What changed?"

"I don't know," she whispered. "When he was shot, I… It was like I was suddenly back in that tunnel, and I was just waiting for them to get us, but then… When I saw you trying to clean him up, this… _instinct_ to try and…"

She trailed off with a soft laugh.

"What?" I wondered, frowning. Bella gazed up at me after a moment, a small smile on her face.

"It was a maternal instinct," she murmured. "To protect him and keep him safe. I knew that I could help him, and that… overrode everything else."

I smiled back at her. "You're becoming a Mama Bear."

She laughed softly. "I hope so."

"What do you mean?" I frowned. "You already are."

"No," she mumbled. "I'm not. I… I love my son beyond words, but once Boss Man started sending me out and Pixie was looking after him?" She shook her head. I knew she was referring to Jake and Alice; it was something which caused her deep pain. "I distanced myself a little. I let her be his Mama Bear, because I couldn't always be there for him, and I… I want to be that for him. And for our baby."

"Picket fence," I murmured.

She laughed again, the sound light and genuine. _Fuck,__ I__'__d__ missed__ hearing __her __laugh._

"Yeah."

Our lips met then. Just a soft, chaste kiss, but it spoke more than words could. I sighed contentedly as she leaned against me again, both our gazes fixed out the window. No movement. No changes. No threats.

"Bella?" I said softly after a short while had passed. The question had been on my mind for hours; I had to ask her.

"Yeah?"

"How did you know what to do?"

She stiffened, and for a moment, I wondered if maybe I'd finally caused that switch to flip, condemning her to silence once more. But then she curled her hand into a first against my t-shirt and exhaled a shaky breath.

"My dad," she mumbled. "He had a gash in his arm when he came home one night, and showed me how to sew it back up. Said it would be important one day." She sighed. "I was fourteen."

I squeezed her gently, letting my hand run up and down her back to comfort her. Words wouldn't be of any use to her; she just needed my touch while she handled the memories.

"Will you come and lie with me?" she whispered after a few minutes, suddenly sounding drained.

"Of course," I murmured. She smiled gratefully, then turned to start moving back to the bed. "Here, let me."

I bent forward slightly and started to wrap her arm round my shoulders, then hissed in a breath.

"Baby?"

I clamped my eyes shut, willing the pain in my shoulder to go away.

"Oh, my God," she mumbled. "Your shoulder. Shit."

"It's f-"

"_Fine?_ Don't lie to me, Edward," she warned, gazing into my eyes as she ran her hands down my chest to grip the hem of my t-shirt. "Don't hide this from me. I can handle it."

She carefully pulled up the t-shirt, gliding her hands up my chest as she did so. I sucked in a breath at her touch and tried to focus on her instead of the pain.

Once my good arm was free of the fabric, she guided the t-shirt over my head and slid it down my other arm, making sure she didn't jostle my shoulder in the process.

"Oh, Edward," she breathed, gently running her fingertips along my shoulder and tracing the still-pink scar from the surgery.

"It doesn't usually hurt, but I think I just over-used it," I told her softly. She frowned, so I clarified for her. "I held my own weight up when we were… you know… and then helping Emmett and carrying you after that… I guess I haven't quite got my full strength back yet."

"The scar…"

"They performed surgery on me when I, uh…" I'd forgotten she didn't know the full story yet. "When I got back, and I was supposed to be going to physio, but I…"

"Stayed with me instead," she supplied.

"Yeah," I mumbled.

She sighed, then leaned forwards and pressed her lips to my shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," I murmured, knowing she was apologizing out of sympathy; she probably felt it was her fault I was shot in the first place. "I'll be okay, baby."

She nodded, then smiled sadly before turning and carefully hopping to the end of the bed. She climbed on, taking care not to put pressure on her bad leg, then shifted up towards the pillows and pulled the sheets to one side so I could join her.

I gazed at her for a moment before smiling and climbing in beside her, pulling the sheets up around us in a protective cocoon as she rolled onto her side to face away from me. I shifted closer to her, curving my body around hers, then slipped my hand under her top to rest against her stomach and smiled when she shuddered.

"I love you," I whispered, dropping a kiss to her neck and barely managing to stifle a groan as she pushed her hips back against mine in response.

"I love you, too," she breathed, then exhaled a heavy sigh before letting her body melt against mine.

Before long, her breathing evened out and her eyes fell shut, and I felt a pang of dread in my stomach.

_Please, please don't let me lose this. I need her like this; whole, happier, responsive. Please don't let sleep claim that part of her. I beg you. Please._

* * *

><p>"You were meant to wake me up an hour ago."<p>

I shrugged, but didn't move from my spot beside the window.

Ever since I'd finally forced myself to leave Bella's side and get back to playing watchman, I'd been standing in the same spot by the window, watching over everything as closely as possible. My temporary break hadn't cost us our security, but that didn't stop me from feeling guilty about it, so I'd decided to lengthen my shift a bit to make up for it.

Despite my best attempts at figuring something out, I still hadn't been able to come up with a safe place we could drive to after leaving the motel. It wasn't wise to stay in one place for too long, and without Agency help, we had no way of getting to a safe house. I'd toyed with the idea of going to Seattle and staying with Alice, Jasper and Jake, but quickly crossed it off the list. They'd have been moved immediately.

The Volturi owned a lot of places in Seattle anyway, but that was really the only place in Washington where they were present. I didn't know of all the 'bunkers' they owned, of course, but I did know that most of them were either in Illinois, Nevada, or New York State. They had associates and employees who would protect them there, and the authorities were so under their thumb, nobody would be looking for them, despite claiming otherwise.

But if we could get a direct line to Carlisle…

No.

Phone lines could be tapped. Calls could be tracked.

Carlisle himself may even be the rat.

That particular thought made me feel sick. He was, after all, the man who had chosen the surgeons who worked on Bella. He'd kept his cards closed to his chest this whole time… Who knew what kind of hand he was holding.

"Come on." Rosalie's voice broke my thoughts, and I heard her shifting on the bed. "Switch."

"I'm fine," I told her quietly, shaking my head.

"No, you're not," she countered. "When was the last time you slept?"

I shrugged.

Rosalie sighed and I felt her warm hand press against my shoulder. "Edward, you're running on empty."

"I'm used to it."

"So? That just makes it worse," she replied softly. "Bella needs you. All of you. And you can't give that if you're running round half asleep all the time."

I closed my eyes. She was right, of course, but sleeping just seemed like an empty exercise when I could be actively keeping guard.

"She's been moving around an awful lot," Rose continued. "Even in her sleep, she knows you're not there."

I'd noticed that too. During the course of the night, I'd been tempted to go back over to her because she looked like she was on the brink of a nightmare, but each time I began to move towards her, she had sighed and rolled over, her expression becoming more peaceful.

"Edward…" Rose sighed sadly, taking the gun from my hands. "Sleep."

I hesitated for a moment, then finally nodded.

"Alright," I murmured. "If you stand here, you get a good view of the lot and, uh… If anything happens…"

"I'll wake you up," she promised.

"Thanks."

Rosalie smiled, then traded places with me, instantly seeming more alert and focused. With a soft sigh, I quietly moved towards the bed, removing my belt so Bella would be more comfortable; it would dig in if she pressed against me otherwise.

Trying not to make the bed shift too much, I carefully took off my shoes before climbing in behind Bella, bringing the sheets over us both and sighing as warmth spread through my body. The second I was close enough to touch her, Bella moaned softly and shifted back against me, her body sensing mine even in sleep. After a few moments, she sleepily looked over her shoulder at me, blinking to try and adjust to the darkness of the room.

"Go back to sleep, baby," I murmured, shifting closer and sliding my arm round her waist. Bella smiled weakly, then rolled onto her back and wrapped her arms around me, guiding my head to her chest and letting her fingers run through my hair. I exhaled a long, content sigh, feeling the tension in my body melt away. Somehow, she always knew exactly what I needed.

Unable to fight the exhaustion any longer, I finally let my eyes drift shut…

"Edward?" _Rosalie._

I groaned, nuzzling my face against the soft warmth that was beneath it.

"Wake up."

A quiet laugh made the warmth vibrate under my cheek, and I felt fingers run through my hair.

"Edward." The word was barely a whisper, but I heard it. _Bella._

I opened my eyes and lifted my head, grimacing at the bright sunlight flooding through the window and into the motel room. Once my eyes adjusted, I turned my head and saw Bella smiling down at me, her eyes bright and alert.

"Took your time," I heard Emmett mumble, his tone teasing.

"How long was I out?" I rolled onto my back and rubbed my eyes. It felt like I'd only just fallen asleep, but somehow, I still felt better rested than I had in weeks.

"About seven hours," Rosalie replied softly. "We don't have to leave for a while, but we figured we needed a plan first, so…"

"Shit," I muttered. _How__ the __fuck __had __I __slept __for __so __long?_

Bella rolled over to face me, pressing her hand against my chest. "It's okay. You needed to rest."

I let out a heavy sigh, then nodded. My head felt clearer now than it had last night, but part of me felt guilty again. If anything had happened…

_But it didn't._

I lifted Bella's hand to my lips and kissed it softly. She smiled widely, then shifted closer and rested her head on my chest; a complete role reversal from last night.

"Rose, can you help me a sec?"

I glanced over at Emmett, who seemed a lot perkier than he had the night before. He shot me a pointed look, then, with Rosalie's help, moved into the bathroom and shut the door behind them. _He__ was__ giving__ us __privacy._

I owed him one.

"How's your leg?" I murmured. Bella lifted her head and smiled, resting her chin against my chest as she gazed into my eyes.

"Fine," she teased.

"Have you taken your meds?"

Bella nodded and pressed her lips to my skin, sighing softly as I wrapped my arms around her. I inhaled deeply, letting my eyes flutter shut for a moment.

_She was still here. Talking in front of Emmett and Rosalie. More progress._

"You're still talking," I murmured.

"I am," she sighed, nuzzling my neck. "I feel… Calmer. Somehow."

"I'm glad," I breathed as relief sparked in my chest. _We__ would__ be__ okay._

Bella pressed an open-mouthed kiss to my neck, then pushed herself higher up my chest to kiss me properly, the tip of her tongue teasing mine. I groaned softly, guiding her on top of me and loving the feel of her weight against me. To be this close with Bella feeling so free… It was incredible.

_If something seems too good to be true, it probably is._

The thought came from nowhere, sending a chill down my spine.

"What's wrong?" Bella mumbled against my lips as my body tensed.

"Nothing," I lied. "I just… Rose and Emmett will be out any second, and I don't want…"

Bella laughed, blushing slightly. "Good point."

Shooting a glance at the bathroom door, Bella shook her head and rolled off me again before sitting up and handing me my t-shirt. I smiled gratefully, then quickly pulled on the t-shirt before grabbing my shoes and putting them on in case we needed to make a quick exit.

I heard Bella shift on the bed and sighed as she kissed my spine, right between my shoulders. I felt like an idiot for letting the thought get to me so much, but something inside me was screaming for me to listen to it. Dread settled in my stomach once again.

"Rose? Em?" I called, gesturing for Bella to come and sit beside me. I needed her close.

After a few seconds, Rosalie and Emmett made their way back into the bedroom and settled on the edge of their bed, facing us.

"Okay," I sighed. "We need a plan."

Emmett nodded in agreement. "Until we know for sure who the rat is, our best bet is to avoid contact with The Agency for as long as possible, so that rules out safe-houses."

"Staying in Washington's safest," I murmured. "The three of you know the area, and if we need to run, Canada's only a few hours away."

"Emmett, if you still have your place in Seattle…" Rosalie began. I shook my head.

"Seattle's a no-go," I told her. "Too many eyes will be on us there."

"Fuck," Emmett muttered.

"We can't keep bouncing around motels, either," I continued. "We can't afford it for a start."

"There must be _somewhere_ we can go," Rosalie sighed. "Olympia, maybe? It's close."

"Too close," Emmett pointed out. "We need to get as far away from Oregon as possible."

"Okay," Rosalie mumbled. "Um… I have an aunt in Everett? I know it's close to Seattle, but…" She closed her eyes, her expression one of resignation. "They know where my family live, so that's a no-go as well."

"Fuck, man, this is-"

"Forks."

The three of us turned to Bella, who lifted her gaze to meet our curious ones.

"We can go to Forks."

"Bells?" Emmett frowned, confused.

_Of course._

"My old house," she murmured as she turned to look at me properly. "Edward, we moved out before my dad joined The Agency; there's no way they'd think to look there."

"How do you know it's not occupied by someone else?" Rosalie asked.

"My dad bought it under an alias," Bella explained. "It was his own… _safe-house_, I suppose. Nobody but Carlisle could possibly know it was his, and he'd never think to look for us there."

"Forks is only a few hours away," Emmett continued, nodding at Bella. "We can make it there before sundown, check it out…"

"And if something goes wrong? Then what? We're back to square one," I pointed out.

"Edward," Bella murmured, taking my hand and squeezing tightly.

"He has a point," Rosalie said softly. "We need a Plan B, just in case."

"We barely have a Plan A," Emmett reminded her. "If Bella says the house is clear, then-"

"No." I pushed myself to my feet and started pacing, running my hands through my hair as I fought down the panic threatening to overwhelm me again. "No, we can't rely on that. They're _everywhere,_ Emmett. James is trying to hunt us down, there's a leak in The Agency, and for all we know, it could be Carlisle himself spilling our secrets!"

"He wouldn't…" Bella trailed off, frowning. "No, he wouldn't do that to us."

"He was all for leaving you to die in there, Bella," I pointed out. "I don't trust him."

"I do," she replied firmly. "And if you trust me, you'll go with my judgement on this."

I stopped pacing and stared at her for a moment, feeling anger rise inside me.

_Guilt-tripping__ me._ I laughed bitterly, shaking my head.

"Nice."

"Edward, no, I…" Bella reached out for me, but I shook my head again. "I didn't mean it like that. I just… Please."

"I need a fucking cigarette," I muttered, feeling my pockets reflexively even though I hadn't lit up once after Bella's return.

_Who will it be next time your emotions get too much to handle? Bella?_

I pushed Carlisle's words out of my head and headed into the bathroom, closing the door behind me.

I needed two minutes to just chill the fuck out.

_You can't keep doing this to yourself, Edward._

I braced my hands against the sink, cursing my shoulder for flaring up yet again, a constant reminder of my failures.

_You keep going the way you're going, you won't be able to carry your baby as your arm will be fucked._

"Shut up," I muttered, trying to shaking away the memory of their voices.

My anger wasn't meant for Bella. I was pissed at myself for not being able to protect her; she was always the one coming to my fucking rescue, yet I always seemed to let her down somehow. And now? I was shooting down everyone else's ideas without having any of my own to replace them.

_You're a fucking failure._

"Edward?"

I closed my eyes.

"Bella, please go back into the bedroom."

"No." I heard her shuffling forwards unsteadily.

"Bella…"

I shuddered as her warm hands slipped beneath my shirt from behind and she pressed herself against my back, kissing my shoulder blades.

"I'm sorry," she murmured. "I didn't mean for it to come out like that."

Sighing heavily, I let one of my hands drop to rest against hers through my t-shirt. "I know."

"I wouldn't blame you, you know," she said softly. A little sadly. "If you didn't trust me after…"

"Bella, no. It's not…" I turned round to face her and pulled her against me, hugging her tightly. "I trust you with my life. And Little B's. It's _him_ I don't trust!"

"We have no other choice."

She gazed up at me then, and I was surprised by the strength and fire in her eyes. She knew the risks, and she wouldn't take them unless she truly believed her plan would work; I knew that.

I trusted her.

I trusted her judgement.

But she'd made wrong decisions before.

She'd been willing to sacrifice herself to save me.

And in the process, sacrifice the life of our child.

But she'd fought through torture.

She was strong.

She was smart.

She also hadn't seen or heard my discussions with Carlisle.

I wanted to protect her.

I needed a Plan B.

I wanted to control everything to make sure she was safe.

I wanted, I needed, I wanted.

But what did she need?

What did she want?

_Go with my judgement on this._

I swallowed hard.

"The moment anything feels off, we're leaving."

"Alright," Bella murmured, nodding.

"Bella?" I cupped her cheeks in my hands, keeping my gaze fixed on hers. "I mean it. The _second_ any one of us feels like something isn't right, we're getting the hell out of there. Even if you don't agree."

She smiled, then gently pressed a kiss to the palm of my hand. I sighed, feeling the tension in my body lessen slightly at her touch.

"Okay." I lowered my lips to hers, kissing her softly. "Let's go."


	8. What Part of Forever

**A/N: I haven't got any words to explain the delay here.**

**All I shall say is I lost my inspiration for a long time, and somehow drifted apart from my best friend in the Twi-world, who meant the world to me. Problem with different time zones and life, I guess**

**Enough moaning from me – if anybody is still reading, let me know so I can try and work on getting the next chapter out, even if it's just a review saying "Still reading, you bitch". That's enough for me. Just let me know, okay?  
><strong>

**Enjoy! xx**

* * *

><p><em>I'd lie for you, and that's the truth.<br>Do anything you ask me to; I'd even sell my soul for you.  
><em>I'd Lie For You – Meat Loaf

"… Police have yet to confirm whether the recent waves of homicides throughout Seattle _are_ the work of a serial killer, though there is evidence to suggest that these murders are not being carried out by just one, but _two_ killers who are working together. The most recent killings, that of Mr. John Lattiss and his wife, Kathy, have been the most brutal by far, with both victims being tortured for several hours before being left to bleed to death in their own homes just days after the murders of the Whitehall family only a few miles away. Although no official statement has been made as to whether or not the police believe these murders to be connected, it was revealed today that each of the nineteen victims so far have all had the same criss-cross pattern of wounds on their backs, which could, in fact, be the signature of the-"

Emmett switched off the TV and ran his hands over his face as he settled back against the couch. "Fuck me."

"They're trying to draw us out," I muttered.

"You're sure it's them?"

I nodded. "They broke out three weeks ago, and the killings started a week later. Besides, you heard them, Em. Criss-cross wounds on their backs?" I glanced upwards, to where Bella was hopefully sound asleep in bed. "Same MO."

"Does she know?"

I shook my head and sighed heavily.

"Are you kidding me?!" Emmett hissed. "Edward, she has a right to know."

"I know that!" I snapped, turning to face him. "But she's still struggling to speak some days, and what do you expect me to say to her? '_Hey, honey. By the way, we think Alec and Jane are coming after you. Oh, and James is still on the loose too, but don't worry, we've got it under control'_?"

"Fuck," Emmett breathed.

"Yeah," I agreed, shoving my hand through my hair in agitation.

We'd been camped out in Bella's old house for three weeks now, only venturing out when absolutely necessary. We'd bought several changes of clothes, enough food to feed the four of us for weeks, God knows how many medical supplies, but we all knew we couldn't stay here forever. Staying in one place was far too risky, but we _still_ hadn't come up with a plan B.

We didn't have many weapons; Emmett's gun was almost out of ammo, and although Bella had uncovered her father's gun collection, we still wouldn't be able to defend ourselves if _The Volturi _managed to track us. They'd bring it down hot and heavy on us, and even if we were able to run, chances are they'd track us down almost immediately. By setting Alec and Jane loose in Seattle, they were letting us know they were close, trying to smoke us out, scare us into running. We were sitting ducks here, but at least we were hidden for now. Out there, we'd be easy targets.

We were stuck between a rock and a hard place.

And I was lying straight to Bella's face about it.

_Don't worry, sweetheart, if anything happens, we've got somewhere we can go._

_Emmett and I are sorting it._

_No, no, I'm not keeping watch; I was just thirsty and needed a drink._

_Everything's fine, baby, you just relax, okay?_

I fucking hated myself for lying to her like that; I knew that if I actually let her in and spoke to her about it, chances were she'd come up with a plan, but I also knew that if I opened up this can of worms labeled _Truth_, I'd have to tell her about Alec and Jane, and the worry would put not only her, but our baby at risk as well.

Most days, she was able to talk fluently and without panicking; being back in her old home, even though none of her old belongings were still here, seemed to bring out a sense of calm. But some days, she woke up screaming from her nightmares and would struggle to speak the rest of that day. How could I risk triggering that pain on an even higher level when she barely made it through those days?

She would slip away from me, and this time there would be no rationalizing anything, because these threats were real. Alec and Jane were really out there, and somebody could over hear us speaking or see us in security footage, and then we were all screwed. She wouldn't talk again.

Me? I could take the pain of lying to her. That burden was mine to bear. But being honest and causing her to relapse? That would destroy us both.

So I lied, and I twisted the truth, and I faked it. And when I couldn't face the dishonesty, I distracted her with kisses and murmurs to our baby, trying to stop the cracks from showing.

The TV only ever came on at night, when Bella was already asleep. We'd been tracking the Seattle murders ever since we'd first heard about them, but tried to keep it from Rosalie too. She had family there, and we both knew they could become targets if we didn't pop our heads out soon.

"I need another drink," Emmett mumbled, cringing as he pushed himself off the couch. His chest wound had healed surprisingly well, but still hurt on occasion. "You want one, man?"

"Nah, I'm good," I replied, holding up my still partially full glass. Emmett nodded.

"You headed up to B?"

"In a sec," I assured him. He smiled weakly, then headed into the kitchen, leaving me to down the rest of my drink before forcing myself up the stairs to our bedroom.

It used to be her bedroom when she was younger, and barely managed to fit the double bed it contained, unlike Emmett and Rosalie's room, which had plenty of room to spare. When the other two had pointed that out, Bella had insisted that the two of them take it; it wasn't until later that first night that she'd told me the reason why. That room used to belong to her parents.

I'd found her standing at the doorway to the room a few times, just staring blankly inside at the old wallpaper, usually on the tough days after a nightmare. The house had obviously been done up a little since she'd lived here, but the memories still remained, and I knew it was difficult for her to cope with at times.

I was doing the right thing by keeping this from her. I had to believe that, or else I'd just give in and spill everything, consequences be damned.

After quickly checking to make sure Bella was sound asleep, I headed into the bathroom to brush my teeth and splash some water on my face, as if I could wash away the heavy weight of what I knew down the sink along with it. I stared at my reflection in the mirror, bracing my hands against the edges of the sink as I took in the dark bags under my eyes and the look of pure exhaustion on my face. I hadn't been sleeping well. Not that I ever had truly been able to, but being in yet another unfamiliar place, even though it had once been Bella's home, made things worse. Every sound… Every shadow… They kept me awake on high alert. My paranoia that something was going to happen was worsening by the day, but I tried to keep it buried; I didn't want to worry Bella.

I dried my face with a towel, then headed back towards our bedroom, pulling my t-shirt over my head as I went. For the first week after we'd arrived here, I'd slept fully clothed and insisted Bella do the same, just in case we needed to make a quick run for it, but now things had settled down a little, I'd taken to sleeping in just my boxers while Bella slept in one of my t-shirts and her panties. We kept our 'go' bag packed and ready by the door in case we needed a quick getaway, though. There was such a thing as getting _too_ comfortable, after all.

After stripping down, I carefully climbed into bed behind Bella, smiling to myself as she rolled over in her sleep, instinctually seeking me out. Her t-shirt rode up slightly, revealing the curve of her not-so-little bump, and I couldn't help but reach out and gently slip my fingers beneath the fabric to touch it.

"It's still there," Bella murmured sleepily, shifting so that her head rested on my chest. I laughed softly and pressed my lips to her hair.

"Sorry," I breathed as I wrapped my free arm round her. "It's just…"

"I've popped," she sighed. I felt her smile against my chest. "I can't help feeling it either."

Her hand covered mine over her bump, and I felt her smile again. "You're gonna be mommy's strong little boy, aren't you?"

"Oh, so Little B's a boy now?" I teased. The gender of the baby had been quite a source of entertainment recently; some days Bella felt 'girl' vibes, others she felt 'boy' vibes. It fluctuated with her moods. Rosalie agreed with my prediction that Little B was definitely going to be a Little B, but Emmett had bet against us, convinced we should be referring to the baby as Little E instead.

"I had a dream about it," Bella explained. "We were standing in our house, in the baby's nursery. It was painted blue, with EJ on the wall above the crib."

"EJ?"

"Yeah." She lifted her head and looked up at me, smiling softly. "Edward Jasper, though I think we call him EJ most the time."

The look of pure excitement and happiness in her eyes as she spoke about her dream made it impossible not to kiss her. She let out a soft moan as our lips met, then slipped her hands into my hair, pulling me closer.

"You're adorable," I murmured against her lips. She smiled and slowly rolled on top of me, her hair falling like a curtain around our faces, blocking out the outside world.

"Not adorable, just pregnant," she countered as I slid my hands to her hips.

"Maybe I should just keep you pregnant then," I teased. Bella laughed softly, pressing her lips gently to mine.

"I wouldn't be entirely opposed to that."

With a low groan, I pulled her on top of me, then inhaled sharply as her hips ground against mine, separated by the thin barrier of our underwear. Bella moaned softly, then shifted her hips again, pressing her lips hard against my own as my hands clenched into fists against her skin.

"Edward," she whispered, bringing her hands down to cover my own and forcing them to relax. I lifted my head and kissed her again, then slowly ran my hands down her thighs, trying my best to avoid the dressing which covered her injury.

Bella hummed contentedly, sliding her arms underneath me so she could thread her fingers into my hair, then pulled my lips to hers. As my hands began to slide back up her legs, she pressed her upper body into mine and let out an impatient whine as my hands kept moving further up, gliding over her hips and higher.

Unable to resist, I slipped my hands underneath her t-shirt as they reached the hem, thumbs brushing her bump as my fingertips splayed out against her skin. Bella pressed her forehead to mine, her hand curling into a loose fist in my hair as her lips curved up in a smile.

"Baby's still not going anywhere," she teased. I smiled against her lips and moved to sit up, bringing us closer together. My hands automatically slid further round her to support her, but my fingertips barely had time to fully register the intricate pattern of raised lines across her back before Bella inhaled sharply and pushed me flat onto my back.

"Bel-"

Eyes wide, she shook her head violently, then clambered off the bed and hobbled over to the door, her movements unsteady and staggered.

"Bella?"

She disappeared through the doorway, and I found myself frozen to the spot, struggling to process what had just happened.

_Oh, fuck._

I kicked the sheets away from my legs and scrambled off the bed, hurrying after her.

"Bella?"

I all but ran into the hallway, glancing round in panic to when I couldn't see her straight away. But then I saw that the bathroom light was on, the door ever so slightly ajar, and realized where she'd gone.

"Sweetheart?" I knocked lightly on the door, unsure if my presence would help or hinder her, but when the only answer I received was a quiet sob, I couldn't stop myself from pushing it open anyway.

Nothing could have prepared me for the sight which greeted me.

Lines. Raised, faded pink lines, criss-crossed and intertwined across the entire expanse of Bella's back. Some deeper and thicker than others. Part of me registered that that was because they had switched weapons; knife, whip, chain. Her agony was carved into her skin.

"Oh, Bella…" The words were barely a whisper, but she heard them anyway. Her tear-filled eyes met mine through the mirror, and her expression… _God, her expression_.

Words failed me.

She opened her mouth as if to speak, then clamped her hand over it and closed her eyes as another sob escaped her lips, deep and pained. Her other hand, which had been clutching at the sink like a life preserver moved to her bare stomach, and her entire body seemed to cave in on itself as sob after agonized sob was ripped from her chest.

My feet moved towards her on autopilot, and I forced myself to blink back my own tears as I moved to stand behind her. My brain seemed to shut down, leaving me feeling empty, with nothing other than the desire to help her driving me forwards. No rage, no fear, no sadness. That would come later. At that moment, she was all that mattered.

"Bella…" I breathed. She shuddered at the sound of my voice, then let out a pained moan as my hand reached out and gently traced over the scars at the top of her spine. My chest tightened almost painfully as I felt the raised, thickened skin, but I forced my hand to keep moving down, touching each and every mark as gently as possible.

She had been through so much. Every scar on her back was put there out of hatred, torturing her even now.

I moved closer, pressing my bare chest against her back as I slipped my arms around her waist. Bella whimpered, her legs almost giving out from underneath her, but I held her upright, supporting her body with my own.

"I got you," I whispered.

Bella nodded, clenching her eyes shut even tighter as one of her hands braced against the sink again, the fingers of the other lacing with mine over her stomach. I held her like that until her trembles eased, face buried against her neck, breathing her in.

When her body finally stopped shaking, I pressed a kiss to the base of her neck, then carefully turned her round to face me. Her eyes were still tightly shut, but her expression was no longer as pained, and as I leaned forwards to press my forehead to hers, I heard her whimper softly.

"Bella," I whispered. "Look at me."

She swallowed hard, letting a few more tears fall down her cheeks, then slowly opened her eyes again before finally meeting my gaze. The fear in her eyes… the agony… How had she even made it this far?

"I love you," I told her. "I…" Tears filled my eyes, and I fought to keep my emotions locked in. "_I love you,_ Bella. And I am…"

"It… It w-w-wasn't your… faul-ltt." Bella was forcing the words out, but I could tell her throat was threatening to close up. "I lo… love y… you."

"_Oh…_" I pulled her into my arms, holding her as tightly as I could. Bella buried her face in my neck and slipped her arms around me for support, her entire body trembling violently as she struggled to keep her breathing steady.

"Bella…"

She shook her head. "Be-... droom."

I lifted her without hesitation, holding her close as I carried her back into our room and pushed the door closed behind us. Unsure of what she wanted, I sat down on the edge of the bed with her in my lap and willed myself to keep it together.

"I'm… so t-ti… red, Edwa-rd," she whispered between panted breaths. "It won't… s-stop… It starts to get bet-ter, and then…"

"It's alright," I murmured. "We're gonna be alright."

"They're lo-oking f-for me," she breathed, tensing in my arms. "James, he… He wants me. J-J-J-…" She shuddered. "Jane and… They _want_ me."

"They won't have you," I swore, running my hands up and down her legs to try and soothe her, unsure if touching her still naked back right now would do more harm than good. "They can't track us. If they could, they'd have found us already."

"You don't kn-know that," Bella countered. "Edward… What if _I_ did this?"

I shook my head. "Bella, this wasn't your fault."

"No. No, you do-n't get i-tt. _I spoke_." She swallowed audibly, her eyes glazing over with panic. "I sp-spoke to you in the m-m-medical centre, and then Ja-… Edward, he knew where I w-as_."_

"No." I cupped her cheeks and looked directly into her eyes, willing her to believe me. "Bella, you talking to me didn't cause this. Somebody else did this to us. Not you."

She shook her head, dropping one hand to her stomach. "I d-di-id this…"

"Don't," I pleaded. "Don't think like that, baby. You speaking didn't do this. They don't have the entire world under surveillance; we've proven that much already just by making it here."

"The fact w-w-we even _have _to be he-re shows how dangerous they are, E-Edward. They got a m-ole within_ The Agency _unde-detected; they could have th-them anywhere. With Jam-mes and… _them_ free, it's only a matter of time."

She was right. Jane and Alec's killing spree in Seattle was proof of that, even though she wasn't aware of it.

"Edward, they'll ki-kill us if they find u-s." She shuddered, pressing her hand over my heart. "They'll kill _you._"

"That's not gonna happen."

"But-"

"Please, don't…" I breathed. "Bella, I'm not going to let anything happen to you or Little B, okay?"

"I know that you'll try, but... We can't do this a-alone. We need help." She bit her bottom lip, hard enough to raise blood to the surface. "We need Jasp-per."

"Bella…"

She shook her head. "I know it's ri-risky, but Jane and A-Alec don't know we're in Washington, not for s-sure, and if we could just _talk_ to him, maybe he could help."

My heart sank.

"What?" Bella frowned. "What's that lo-ok?"

"What look?"

"E-Edward." _Damn it._ "What aren't you t-telling me?"

"Nothing," I lied, forcing a smile. "Just… Thinking."

"You don't think we should do it," Bella sighed, hands dropping to her lap.

"No, no, it's not that," I protested. _It's Alec and Jane. _"I just don't know how we can pull that off without someone finding out. I mean, do you even know Jasper's number?"

Bella smiled weakly. "Who said anything about needing a number?"

* * *

><p>"This is such a bad idea."<p>

"I know."

"Are you sure she knows what she's doing?"

"Nope."

"Fucking hell."

"Yeah."

After much persuasion from Bella, we'd driven half an hour to a random mailbox so she could mail a letter that may or may not reach Jasper and Alice. With no return address, Emmett and I weren't entirely sure how Jasper would be getting in contact if and when he did receive the letter, but Bella was certain it would work, not realizing the full extent of the danger this tiny outing was putting us all in.

"Will you two stop?" Rosalie snapped.

Emmett and I turned round to look at her, confused.

"She knows what she's doing," she continued. "If she didn't, she would never have let us leave the house."

"Rose…" Emmett murmured. Rosalie put a hand up to silence him.

"I'm just saying." Her voice softened suddenly. "I know you're worried about Alec and Jane, but maybe it's time we try and trust someone. If Bella says Jasper might help us… It's worth a shot."

"We never said it wasn't," Emmett protested. "It's just a risky plan."

"We're hiding from some of the most dangerous people on the planet, Emmett. Even breathing is risky," Rose half-joked, but I understood what she meant. That didn't make my paranoia ease any, though.

The three of us turned to look at Bella as she approached the car again, seemingly satisfied with what she'd done. She kept her head down as she got closer, eyes darting to check nobody was watching, then calmly climbed into the back of the car beside Rosalie before pulling off her baseball cap and releasing her hair from its bun.

"All done?" Emmett asked.

"Think so," she replied, shooting us a small smile. I smiled back at her, then frowned when her smile dimmed slightly in response.

"Bella?"

"Let's go home, shall we?" She did up her seatbelt and looked at me expectantly, her smile returning, though it seemed a little forced. I hesitated for a moment, then shook my head and started the car anyway, wondering if maybe it was just my paranoia getting to me.

Without the radio to fill the silence, the journey back to the house was almost awkward, despite the continuous meaningless small talk between the girls. As we pulled into the driveway, I glanced back at Bella in the rearview mirror, looking for any signs things weren't just in my head, but she seemed perfectly normal.

After I locked the handbrake, I quickly got out the car and moved to open Bella's door for her. She smiled gratefully and accepted my hand as she climbed out the car, but didn't linger, instead walking straight up to the front door and opening it before I could offer to help her. Her gait was unsteady, but if walking without support caused her pain, she didn't let it show.

"Coming?"

I startled at the sound of Rosalie's voice, then nodded and swiftly made my way inside, feeling nausea rise in my stomach.

"Is pasta okay for dinner?" Bella asked as I closed the door behind me.

Emmett and Rosalie nodded the affirmative, and Bella looked at me expectantly when I didn't respond.

"Yeah," I managed to croak around the sudden tightness in my throat. "Do you want some help?"

"No, thank you," she replied. The nausea worsened. "But I could always use some company?"

I let out a shaky breath.

"Sure, I'll be there in a sec."

Bella smiled more genuinely, then headed towards the kitchen to start prepping the meal.

"You alright, Edward?" Emmett asked as I eased my jacket off, trying not to strain my shoulder.

"I think so," I replied uncertainly. "Did she seem… off to you?"

Emmett shook his head. "Nope. Why? She seem off to you?"

"Maybe. I don't know."

"Maybe you're just reading into things too much," Rosalie offered. "I'm sure if something was up, she'd tell you."

"You're right," I muttered. "I'm just a bit thrown by everything, I guess."

"You could always speak to her about it?"

"Nah, it's fine." _Lie. Twisted truth. Faked._ "You guys gonna join us?"

Rosalie glanced at Emmett. "Actually, I, uh… I wanted to talk to Emmett about something, if that's okay?"

Emmett seemed confused, but shrugged anyway.

"Sure, talk to you guys later."

I made my way to the kitchen and stood in the doorway for a moment, watching Bella gather ingredients as she hummed quietly to herself.

"What kind of pasta are you treating us to today, then?"

Bella's movements didn't falter. "Just a simple tomato sauce and maybe linguini?"

"Sounds nice," I murmured as I hesitantly stepped forward, suddenly unsure of myself.

Bella set down the ingredients and turned to face me, her expression unreadable. She pulled her bottom lip into her mouth, then slowly moved closer until her hands could gently cup my cheeks.

"You love me," she said softly, slowly… a statement, not a question.

"Of course I do," I breathed.

"And you would never do anything to deliberately hurt me."

My brow furrowed. "Bella…"

"Would you?" Her voice was still soft, but her eyes were searching mine for something I couldn't understand.

"Never," I swore. "Bella, what…"

Her lips silenced mine with a gentle kiss.

"I know you wouldn't," she whispered, then smiled almost sadly. "I just… needed to hear it."

"Baby?" Something was wrong, had been since before she came back to the car.

"I love you," was all she said in response, but when her lips met mine again, gentleness was replaced by something more raw, and I automatically reached for her hips to steady myself.

As the kiss deepened, Bella closed the distance between us and threaded her fingers into my hair, almost as though she was trying to pull me even closer, and I let her, giving myself over to her completely. But I still couldn't shake the feeling something wasn't right.

"Bella." I pulled my lips from hers and pushed gently on her hips to separate us slightly. "What's…"

"I'll explain later, I promise." She pressed her lips to mine one final time then moved back, her smile bright for the first time that day. I wanted to push for an answer, but if she said she'd explain later, I trusted she would, so let it drop for now.

"Sure you don't need any help prepping?" I offered instead, forcing myself to seem more upbeat. _Lie. Twist truth. Fake._

Bella considered it for a moment, then nodded, gesturing towards the mix of onions, tomato and herbs on the counter.

"Take your pick."

* * *

><p>The rest of the evening went smoothly, any tension from earlier in the day melting away like nothing had happened, and the more I thought about it, the more I realized I had probably just overreacted. The feeling, that darkness, wouldn't go away, and as I followed Bella up to bed that night, it only seemed to grow, to the point where I was unable to sleep. That was probably the price I deserved to pay after all my lies lately. You couldn't expect to sell your soul to the devil and escape unscathed, after all.<p>

_Lie. Twist truth. Fake._

The mantra ran round and round in my head, haunting me, and I briefly wondered if I should give up and go downstairs to relieve Emmett from guard duty, but before I could so much as move, loud footsteps echoed up the stairs at an alarming pace, followed almost immediately by an urgent knocking on the door.

Bella jerked awake and turned to me with wide, fearful eyes, her body frozen in panic.

"Edward?!" Emmett opened the door without waiting for a response, his tone one of barely concealed urgency. The look on his face made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

"What's wrong?" I sat up, grabbing my t-shirt from the floor and pulling it over my head.

"Grab your shit, we need to go."

"Emmett, they've pulled up outside!" Rose. _What the fuck?_

Emmett pushed the door further open and hurried inside, immediately moving over to the window and peeking through a gap in the curtains. "Fuck."

"Em-"

Pulling his gun from his waistband, he moved swiftly back over to the door. "I'll guard round back. Masen, you guard the front."

I nodded, getting my own gun from the nightstand and grabbing a pair of jeans from the drawer, slipping them on as fast as possible. As I put on my shoes, I felt the adrenaline hit as the reality of our situation sunk in_. They'd found us._

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," I muttered, then turned to Bella, who was staring wide-eyed at the wall.

"Bells?" I felt Bella startle at the sound of her name, despite Emmett's soft tone. "Bells, we need to go, okay? Here, put these on, grab some shoes, and wait for Rose by the stairs."

"Baby?" I called when she didn't move. She looked up at me, then shook her head and climbed off the bed, trembling all over.

"Sorry, I'm… I'm okay now," she mumbled. Emmett nodded once, then hurried downstairs, shooting me an urgent look.

Knowing I couldn't waste any more time, I rushed forwards to press a kiss to Bella's forehead.

"I love you," I murmured, holding her terrified gaze for only a moment before running downstairs, which was now engulfed in darkness; a move which would hopefully make it harder for people to see in than for us to see out.

I crept down the hallway with ease, having memorized the layout within the first two days of arriving. I caught a glimpse of Emmett at the other end of the hallway, weapon drawn, eyes trained on the rear door. We'd prepared for this, had our escape route planned and most contingencies accounted for, but I that darkness only heightened my anxiety.

Once I'd made it into the main room, I heard Rose whisper my name from somewhere near the window, and hurried across to meet her.

"How many?" I breathed.

"Just the one so far," she replied, her voice shaking slightly. "Where's Bella?"

"Upstairs still." I slowly raised my head to peer through the gap in the curtains. A lone figure was standing near the front yard, his face obscured by shadows from a baseball cap. "Have they moved?"

Rose shook her head. "They're just… standing there. Like they're waiting for something."

"Right… You go get Bella, keep her calm, try and make her talk to you. When we give you the signal, run to the car, just like we planned, okay?"

"Yeah," she breathed, nodding. "Yeah, okay. Be careful, Edward."

I shot her a tense smile, then felt more than heard her retreat to the hallway, her movements almost silent. I hoped she'd be able to stop Bella from panicking too much, because right now, I couldn't afford to worry about that; my full attention needed to be on that lone figure outside.

It was unnerving, watching them stand there; Rose was right, it was exactly like they were waiting, but for what? Reinforcements? Confirmation?

I shifted slightly until I had a clearer view, searching for signs of any other activity. There was nothing, just that one person and their car.

_Should I go out there? _They were too tall to be Alec or Jane, shoulders too broad to be James'…

"Bella, wait!"

I spun round, panic unfurling in my stomach as footsteps sped down the stairs and a shadow passed across the doorway… Cursing under my breath, I ran forwards, still ducked low, and emerged into the hallway just in time to see Bella open the door and run out into the front yard.

The figure turned sharply.

"Jazz?!" Bella sped up, almost stumbling as her leg buckled, but then Jazz was there, holding her upright, and I immediately realized why that nickname was so familiar.

_Jasper._


	9. We Are Broken

**A/N: What the Hell happened? I hear you cry! I got my inspiration back is what happened, and I managed to get a chapter out in 2 days!**

**Thank you so much for all your reviews – I was so nervous and expected either nothing or hate, but to get so much positivity was just amazing! I tried to reply to all of you (sorry if I missed someone!) and I hope you continue to leave feedback – it's proving to be the greatest inspiration of all!**

**Enjoy! xx**

* * *

><p><em>If heartache was a physical pain,<em>

_I could face it, I could face it  
>But you're hurting me from inside of my head<br>I can't take it, I can't take it  
><em>Lose My Mind – The Wanted

"Hey, darlin'," I heard Jasper say, and Bella's answering smile made my anxiety ease, even if it was only minimally.

"Thank you for coming," she replied softly. Jasper nodded, then gestured for Bella to lead the way inside.

As the two of them slowly made their way in, I felt Rosalie and Emmett's presence behind me, and felt myself tense. _Were we secure?_

"All clear?" I asked quietly.

"He seems to be alone," Emmett replied, voice low.

"Keep your eyes open anyway," I murmured, then smiled as Bella stepped through the door, hands reaching out to help her.

"Thanks," she breathed, but her voice was a little strained. "Lounge?"

I nodded, then glanced quickly at Jasper, who was standing poker straight in the entryway.

"Go through," I told him, then pressed a kiss to Bella's forehead. "I'll follow."

As the others moved into the lounge to talk, I quickly rechecked outside, then closed the door behind us before locking it. With all of us still on edge, the atmosphere in the lounge was thick to say the least, and none of us were willing to risk turning on more than one lamp in the middle of the room just yet.

"Were you followed?" I asked, moving to the window and glancing outside.

"I'm not an amateur," Jasper drawled, rolling his eyes.

"You can never be too careful," I responded simply, feeling my hackles instantly rise.

"This isn't exactly my first rodeo, so why don't you just relax?"

I moved to step forward, but Bella quickly blocked me, then grimaced as her leg trembled beneath her.

"Shit," I muttered, arms shooting out to steady her. She smiled gratefully, but tension was written all over her face.

"Please," she whispered. "He's here to help."

"Don't you find it at least a little suspicious that he got here so quick?" I didn't even bother trying to keep my voice lowered.

"Is he for real?" Jasper exclaimed, eyebrows raised. "I risked my ass to come here, and you're doubting my intentions? If I was working for them, you'd already be dead."

"Bella may know you, but I don't," I retorted. "So forgive me for being a little hesitant to trust you."

An awkward silence fell over the room as the five of us stared at each other, frozen in a tension-filled tableau.

"So, this is your merry band of misfits, huh, Bella?" Jasper eventually drawled.

Bella laughed uneasily. "I guess so."

She gestured to Rose.

"That's Rosalie. She was in the…" Bella trailed off awkwardly, but Rose didn't bat an eyelid, stepping forward to shake Jasper's hand.

"Bella saved me," she finished, smiling. Jasper nodded stiffly, then put his hand out for Emmett to shake.

"Emmett, right? We worked together once."

Emmett nodded. "Texas."

"Right," Jasper replied, satisfied.

"And this is Edward," Bella said softly.

Jasper turned to face me and raised an eyebrow.

"_You're_ the one she threw her life away for," Jasper stated, too calmly.

My mouth opened, but no sound came out.

"Did you know she had a son before you left her to die?"

"Jasper!" Bella hissed.

"Bella, don't," I murmured, reaching out for her hand. Jasper eyed my movements carefully, but didn't comment as I met his gaze. "Yes. I did."

"Yet you did it anyway."

"He didn't know what code black meant. That wasn't his fault," Bella protested, but Jasper held up a hand to silence her.

"Oh, don't worry, darlin', I'm just as mad at you as I am at him." He turned his attention back to Bella. "What the _hell_ were you thinking?"

"I-…" Bella curled in on herself, her fingers tight round mine.

"Did you even stop to consider how that decision was going to affect everyone else?" Jasper snapped. "Alice, me, Jake?"

"Jazz…"

"For Christ's sake, did you even think about us at all, there?"

"Hey!" Emmett stood up, ready to intervene.

"And what about your baby?" Everybody's eyes snapped back to him in shock. "Oh, I already knew about that. Not that that t-shirt hides anything. It's bad enough you left one child behind, let alone-"

My fist met his jaw with a satisfying crack.

Bella gasped behind me, and I was vaguely aware of Emmett moving to pull me back, but when Jasper raised his head again, he was smirking.

"You love her. Good." He tipped his chin up, jaw tight. "Glad to know you were worth it."

"Who the _fuck_ do you think you are?" I growled.

"A friend," he snapped. "Now, have I wasted my time, or shall we sit down?"

Bella's hand slipped into mine and I numbly let her guide me backwards to sit on the sofa. She uneasily sat down beside me, keeping herself between me and Jasper, who acted like nothing had happened. My free hand shook uncontrollably.

"So…" Jasper smiled expectantly. Rosalie and Emmett stared at him, their expressions mirroring mine.

_What the hell was this guy on?_

Unsurprisingly, Bella was the only one to break the silence.

"H-… How are they?" she asked hesitantly, fingers lacing with mine for support.

"Alice is worried as fuck," Jasper replied. "And Jake misses his mother."

Bella swallowed audibly, her nails imprinting crescents on my hand as she tightened her grip.

"I… I thought maybe…"

"What? That I'd be stupid enough to bring them here?" Jasper retorted.

Bella looked down at her lap as her free hand ran lightly over her stomach. My free hand clenched into a fist.

_Inhale… Exhale…_

"Bella…" Jasper's voice softened immensely. "Darlin', I don't want to upset you, but you've gotta understand the risks. You asked us to take of him for you, so that's what we're doin'."

"I know," Bella whispered. "I just hoped that… I could see them, see _him_, that's all."

Jasper sighed softly, then reached into his pocket, pulling out what I assumed was a photo. The moment Bella took it in her hands, her breath left her in a sob.

"_Oh…_"

"I wasn't gonna give you nothin'," Jasper murmured. Bella placed the photo in the small space between us, then leaned forward to hug Jasper tightly.

_Whiplash, much?_

Unable to help myself, I glanced down at the photo and instantly understood.

"This is Jake," I realized, taking in the young boy beaming at the camera. "Wow."

"He's gotten so big," Bella whispered as she withdrew from Jasper's embrace, her body immediately seeking out mine. I wrapped an arm round her shoulder and kissed the top of her head, allowing her a moment to look at the photo again. _"When did he get so big?"_

"Time goes fast," Jasper said sadly. "He misses you. We all do."

"I'm sorry," Bella croaked. "But Jasper, please understand-"

"We'll talk about that later." His eyes flicked to mine. "You said you needed help. So… fill me in."

"I don't where to even start…" Bella muttered.

"What do you know already?" Emmett asked, tone almost cold.

"Bella went in to retrieve one asset and one potential asset, got them both out, almost killed herself in the process…" Bella tensed. "Then _you _got _her_ out, took down a couple of the _Volutri _and captured Alec and Jane."

At the mention of the twins, Emmett and I looked at each other, both of us on edge.

"They escaped from the Oregon center, so did you guys, and now they're on a manhunt." Jasper turned to us expectantly. "Did I miss anything?"

"No, that's, uh… That's pretty much it," Emmett replied. "How did you-"

"My wife's Carlisle's daughter," Jasper reminded him. "News spreads."

"Of course," I murmured. _Alice._

"What exactly do you need from me?" Jasper asked. "Not bein' funny here, but I don't exactly have any _sway_ in the _office_ anymore."

"That's why I asked you," Bella said softly. "There's a leak, and you are the only I trust who wasn't already in this '_merry band of misfits'."_

"We need supplies," Emmett continued. "Weapons, shelter, food, anything. We can't keep leaving the house. Every time we do… we put ourselves at risk. But even staying in one place still has its dangers."

"You were in the army once, right?" Jasper's mask of indifference almost cracked at my words. _That's right, Buddy, I know about you. _"Do you still have any connections? People who may be able to help, no questions asked?"

"You remember that?" Bella asked quietly. I shrugged.

"I do listen when you talk, you know," I murmured, then looked to Jasper for a response.

"Maybe," he replied. "But what are you expecting to happen, here? To arm yourselves to the teeth and stay hidden for the rest of your lives? _The Volturi_ may have lost their main hub, but you know better than anyone the reach they have."

He had a point.

"We have to stay underground until the heat dies down a little." Emmett looked at Rose before continuing, "Edward and Rose need to stay protected. Bella, too. Otherwise… We lose our shot at bringing them down."

"Bringing them down at what cost?" Jasper replied almost harshly. "Even with two key witnesses added to the list of evidence, the odds of you taking down each and every single person associated with them are next to none. And those that are left will not sit idly by and let you get away with destroying their lives."

Silence.

"He's right," Rosalie said softly after a few moments. "Bella… Edward…You two have a _baby_ on the way. Maybe it would better if the two of you went somewhere, somewhere they can't find-"

"This _heat _will never die down. They'll _always_ be able to find us," I interrupted. "I wasn't lying I said their presence in Washington was minimal, but we can't hide forever, and I don't want to raise my kid in a world where _they_ still have power, where they can still corrupt. But… This thing is like a hydra. I've seen it. They lose someone, they replace them instantly. They have a plan B, a plan C… I don't know how far the chain goes down. Hell, nobody does, apart from Aro… maybe Caius?"

"What about Marcus?" Emmett suggested. "His wife helped get Bella out, right?"

"I don't know how much he knows," I sighed. "I was never in a position to find out."

"You weren't at the bottom of the chain, though, you were in the inner circle," Rosalie pointed out. "Edward, Aro kept you close to him, he must have trusted you."

"Aro doesn't trust _anyone_," I replied. "I'm not denying I know more than most, I'm just saying I don't know _enough _to be able to judge the situation."

"You've gotta know something." Emmett's frustration was understandable, but all it did was wind me up further. "There's got to be some critical information that can help."

"I'm not exactly in the loop anymore, am I?" I cried. "I have no fucking clue what they're doing… What their plan is. I said from the start this was going to be almost fucking impossible, and I haven't exactly had much time to breathe since we left Oregon, let alone think up a master plan to take them down!"

"If we knew what _The Agency_ had up their sleeve-"

"We can't exactly ask them though, can we, Rose?" I ran my hand through my hair and pulled at it, using the pain to keep my temper in check. "_The Volturi_ even have their claws in there!"

Jasper barked out a laugh. "Fuckin' perfect."

"Not helping," I snapped, grateful Bella was still sitting between us.

_Bella…_

"Please leave," she said calmly, speaking for the first time in minutes. "Em, Rose… Edward."

I frowned. "What?"

"I need to speak to Jasper. Alone." She turned to look at me, and for once I couldn't read her expression. "_Please._"

I clenched my jaw, shooting a look at Jasper, who simply raised an eyebrow in a silent challenge.

"We'll be in the kitchen." Emmett stood up, offering a hand to Rosalie, who hesitantly took it. "Edward?"

"Fine." I pushed myself off the sofa with more force than necessary, forcing my body to move despite the overwhelming urge to stay put. "But I'll be right outside."

"I'd worry if you weren't," Jasper snarked, smiling sarcastically.

I clenched my hands into fists, then bent over to kiss Bella. She lifted her head, lips meeting mine, then gently placed her hand on my chest, her eyes urging me to leave.

"Five minutes," she breathed. I nodded reluctantly. "I love you."

"Love you, too." I stole one last kiss, then straightened up and followed Emmett out the room, refusing to look back at Jasper and Bella.

Rosalie closed the door behind us, then let out an unsteady breath.

"He's…" She struggled. "Intense."

"I don't like him," I ground out, glancing at the door.

"Come on," Emmett urged. "Let's have a drink and calm down for a sec, okay?"

"I'm not leav-"

"Stop being so paranoid about everything," Emmett cut across, dragging me bodily down the hall. "Breathe, for just a minute. I worked with him on an assignment in Texas to bring down a trafficking ring once, deep cover. FBI wouldn't touch it, but he had my back. And if Bella trusts him with this, so will I."

"You heard him in there, right?" I asked, astonished. "He doesn't want to help us."

"He never said that," Emmett countered, grabbing a bottle of whisky from the cupboard and pouring some into a glass. "Look, I get it. You're worried. But the way I see it, we're damned if we do and damned if we don't. Surely you'd rather take this risk than go it completely alone?"

I took the offered glass from him gratefully and stared at the amber liquid for a moment, unable to bring myself to drink it.

"Edward, what's going on with you, man?"

_Lie. Twist truth. Fake._

"I'm fine," I mumbled, downing the liquid in one and relishing in the burn.

"Obviously," Emmett muttered. I took a deep breath, then set the empty glass down on the counter.

"Maybe I'm fed up." I met Emmett's gaze defiantly. "Maybe I'm sick of running, sick of everything being so damn fucked up all the time. Maybe I'm tired of lying to Bella about Alec and Jane. Maybe I want a normal goddamn life. Or maybe this is just how I am. Take your fucking pick."

"Edward…" Rosalie reached for me, but I pulled away before her hand could make contact with my shoulder.

"We're a team now," Emmett told me firmly. "And we are not going to make it out of this alive if we don't start acting like it."

I stared at him for a moment, then shook my head and walked back out into the hallway. My head was fucking pounding, I wanted a cigarette, but most of all, I wanted Bella.

_Who will it be next time your emotions get too much to handle? Bella?_

"Shut up," I growled under my breath, pressing my forehead against the wall beside the lounge door. I closed my eyes tightly and willed myself to calm down, but I couldn't. My hands were shaking uncontrollably, and my shoulder started to burn, reminding me of my weaknesses.

The pressure of being the only person with the keys to the metaphorical castle was too much. I wasn't strong enough to do this on my own, couldn't deal with Alec and Jane or any of this without Bella by my side, but I couldn't tell her what I was so scared of, not without making things worse for her. Putting her under that much stress wouldn't be good for her recovery or for our baby.

Or that's what I told myself, at least.

"You must have known he didn't understand what code black meant when you told him to say it!"

My eyes snapped open at the sound of Jasper's raised voice.

"Imagine how fuckin' guilty he feels!"

"You don't think I know that?!"

"This is your problem, Bella, you know the consequences yet you still jump in head first! You always have!"

"You don't think it killed me to do that to him? To say goodbye, knowing I would probably never see him again? That I wouldn't _survive_?"

"What if you hadn't survived? What if you and that baby had died, huh? How could you be so _reckless_ with your own life?"

"I did what I thought was best!"

"And now everybody else is paying the price."

Silence.

"Don't you dare."

I stood there, frozen. I'd never heard Bella's voice that cold before.

"You have _no_ idea what I went through in that room. You think what Maria did to you was torture? They shoved a _hot poker_ into my gunshot wound and burned my nerves. They chained me with my arms so high up, I could barely breathe, and carved up my back, then showed me the skin they'd sliced off, the blood…. They told me they had killed my baby, that Edward was dead, and the worst part? They were never going to kill me. Said I didn't deserve the relief… They _broke_ me, and I will _never_ be fixed, no matter how hard anybody tries, because the scars run too deep."

I swallowed past the lump in my throat.

"But who am I kidding. Poor everybody else, right?"

"Bella-"

"If you really think that little of me, think I'm just some reckless girl your wife has the misfortune of being friends with, then why the fuck did you come here, Jasper? Why bother?"

"Because I took an oath! I promised Alice I would protect her no matter what, and I meant that! If anything happened to you, it would _kill _her. So here I am. I'm trying to help you, Bella, but you're making it _so hard_ for me to understand why you even got yourself into this in the first place."

"I told you why!"

"Edward."

At the sound of my name, my body seemed to jerk into motion, but as I reached for the handle, Bella's next words turned my body back to stone.

"I didn't mean to fall in love with him! I went there because I thought it was the right thing to do, to help a man who gave up _everything_ to try and do something good. To save a woman who ended up being forced to do the same. Just like I wished someone had done for my dad. And yeah, the idea of bringing down the all-mighty_ Volturi_ as a result helped too. But then I got there, and I met him, and I just…"

A pause.

"You don't _know_ him, Jasper. He is _good,_ and he is _everything_ to me. I don't care about _The Volturi _anymore! I don't care if we bring them down! The only form of _justice_ they deserve is death… Every single one of them. But since that won't happen, I'll settle for anything that means Edward will be safe. That my _family_ will be safe. He is my _Alice_, Jasper… I can't lose him."

I forced myself to move away, to push past Rosalie and Emmett in the kitchen, to open the back door…

I dropped to my knees on the grass, barely catching myself with my hands.

_I didn't deserve any of that. I wasn't worth it._

I couldn't breathe.

_Lie. Twist truth. Fake. _That was my life, that was the person I had become.

_I didn't deserve her._

It would have been so much better for everybody if I had just been left there to rot. None of this would have happened.

_You never would have met Bella, _another part of me pointed out. _Your baby would never have existed._

I didn't regret it. I didn't wish Bella hadn't saved me – that would have been an insult to her.

But goddamn, did I wish it hadn't come at such a high cost.

"Edward?"

I inhaled a shuddered breath.

"Baby, look at me."

I forced myself to exhale, but my chest constricted painfully and I almost wished I hadn't.

"How long's he been like this?"

"Only a couple of minutes. Bella, he-"

"He's fine. Just… Give me a minute alone with him?"

I felt warm hands cup my cheeks and tilt my head up, and then soft lips were on mine, coaxing my mouth open… After a moment of resistance, I relaxed into the kiss, and when she gently pulled back, I could breathe a little easier.

"Bella…"

"It's okay," she soothed.

"No, no, it's not," I croaked, covering her hands with mine. I pressed my forehead to hers, the words on the tip of my tongue.

_Tell her the truth._

"It is," she breathed. "Jasper's agreed to help us, he's going to find somewhere for us, he's going to hel-."

"Bella, you don't understand…"

"Understand what?"

_Stop lying to her._

"I can't do this." I swallowed hard. "Bella, I can't handle this."

"Yes, you can." She looked right into my eyes, never wavering. "And you will. Because I need you."

"I feel like I'm slowly losing my mind." The words were barely audible, but she heard them.

"Of-f course you do! You're hyper-aware of everything, and you're paranoid, and you're scared, but that's because the thr-reat is r-real." A tear rolled down her cheek. "It's why I got Jasper here, to hel-lp us, but then I saw how you reac-ted to him and I real-realized… You don't trust _anyone_ anymore, not even yourself."

"I trust _you_," I protested.

"No, you don't. Not completely, n-not like you did before." Bella smiled sadly. "You say you do, and I know you think you do, but part of you _doesn't_. And I-I did that to you. I m-made it so you can't trust my judgment. Because last time you did, I…"

"Bella…" Her voice was cracking more and more.

_Keep talking, baby… Please…_

"This will tear us apart if we let it," she croaked. "We need to talk m-more, to tell each other what's going on. We used to t-talk so m-much in the compound, but since we left, you l-let me do all the t-talking and shut me out. Please… _please_ try and let me in."

_Tell her!_

"I love you," was all I could say.

"I know you do," she murmured. "But stop walking on eggshells around me so much. I can handle it. You and I are in this together, remember? I know you want to protect me, so why won't you let me do the same for you?"

"I don't deserve it, Bella."

"I wish you could yourself the way I see you," she said sadly. "Just for a moment. Then you'd see just how much you do."

I chuckled darkly.

"What?"

I shook my head.

_Tell her, tell her and she'll walk away._

"I've lied to you." I met her surprised gaze and kept going. "I've been lying to you for weeks."

"Edward?" She frowned.

"Alec and Jane…." Bella tensed, but didn't respond. "They're in Seattle. They're… They're looking for us. They know we're here… Bella, they've left a trail of bodies and-"

"I know." She smiled sadly and pressed her forehead against mine. "Edward, I know."

"How?" I gasped out. "Did Em-"

"There was a newspaper on the ground near the m-mailbox," she replied calmly. _That explained her behavior before…_ "I saw the front page and put two and two togeth-ther."

"Bella, I-"

"I under-understand," she murmured, then pressed her lips gently to mine. "I'm not mad you didn't tell me."

"I _lied_ to you."

"By omission, maybe, but Edward… You did it to protect me. I know that." She sighed. "Baby, you can't k-keep stuff like that from me anymore."

"You've been doing so well… I didn't wanna…"

"The truth won't break me, Edward. That's already been done. We're partners, in _everything_ now. And that means you don't get to put yourself through unnecessary pain to try and ease mine."

"You don't deserve to be in pain," I told her softly. "Not after what you've been through."

"What _we've_ been through," she corrected. "You suffered too. I can see that more clearly now."

I shrugged. All the fight had gone now, leaving me drained.

"Edward?"

"I'm tired," I sighed. "I just… I want this to be over."

_I want to stop feeling this way._

"Then let's go to bed." Bella pulled away, gripping my hands tightly in hers. "I'll ask Emmett to take first watch. We can talk to Jasper tomorrow, figure out some way to end this."

"We need to plan-"

"Tomorrow," she repeated firmly, then grimaced in pain as she got to her feet on unsteady legs.

"Your leg…"

"Is fine. I just need to r-rest… Come inside," she urged, reaching for my hands once again. I let her guide me to my feet, utterly exhausted and feeling like some foggy haze had settled over my mind.

At least numbness was better than rage and despair.

As we walked back into the house, I saw Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie standing in the kitchen apprehensively, but nobody spoke.

"We're going to turn in for the night," Bella told them. "Emmett, you okay to stand watch?"

"Of course."

"Jasper, there's spare blankets in the cupboard, and I'm sure-"

"He can take our room for the night," Rose interrupted softly. "I'll stay up with Em."

"Thanks," Bella replied, smiling weakly. "See you in the morning."

"Night."

I kept my head down as Bella led me upstairs by the hand. Once we were ready for bed, Bella climbed between the sheets and gestured for me to join her, unable to cover her wince of pain when the mattress shifted with my weight.

"I'm sorry."

"Shhh," she breathed, pulling me down beside her with my head on her chest. "It's okay."

I laid my arm across her stomach and sighed as her fingers began to run through my hair.

"I love you."

"I love you, too," she whispered, kissing the top of my head. "Now sleep."

"I _can't_."

"Yes, you can." Bella softly began to hum, fingers drawing patterns across my scalp over and over.

_You don't trust anyone anymore… not even yourself. _Especially not myself.

_But you do trust her, don't you? _I want to.

_Then start now._

I could hear Bella's heart quietly pounding under my ear, and focused on the sound, blocking out everything else. My body gradually calmed, heart-rate slowing to match hers, and as my breathing settled, my mind did the same, allowing me to finally relax just enough to fall asleep.

For once, I didn't dream.


	10. There's Hope Buried Beneath It All

**A/N: Thanks again for all your continuing support for this story. The response has dropped since chapter eight, both view and review wise, but I expected as much, and it just makes me all the more grateful for the few of you who do leave me reviews after reading.**

**I'm going to continue to try and reply to you all (aside from those of you who review as guests or have private messaging switched off), but I've got a really busy week coming up with a new job and uni work, so I apologise in advance if I don't manage it!**

**Enjoy! xx**

* * *

><p><em>Funny, you're the broken one,<em>

_but I'm the only one who needed saving…  
><em>Stay – Rihanna

I woke up before Bella the next morning feeling more rested than I had in weeks despite the early hour. My body ached from carrying so much tension for so long, but I felt lighter, more in control. And it was all because of her.

Now I could think straighter, I realized just how foolish I had been to hold everything in for that long. I had almost lost it, almost lost us Jasper, a potential ally, but worst of all, I'd almost lost Bella. I was used to dealing with things myself after years of being unable to talk to anyone, unable to be honest… but I hadn't realized just how bad a job I was doing at coping until she came and showed me what it could be like to have someone to share the load with.

In the compound, she had always been there for me; after Felix and Demetri, after my call with Carlisle, after everything bad… but then suddenly she was gone, and I was on my own again. Even now that I had her back, things had changed between us. _I _had changed. I had begun to revert into the person I was before she came into my life. Bitter, broken, hate-filled, distrusting…

It was like slipping into an old skin, but it was one that didn't quite fit anymore, not since Bella had managed to get under it. And now, I found myself hoping like hell that skin wouldn't fit ever again. I didn't want to be that person.

But, damn it, it was difficult; old habits die hard, after all.

_Baby steps, just like Bella had to take._

With a soft sigh, I sat upright and turned so my legs could hang over the edge of the bed. I had tried to move quietly to avoid waking Bella up, but heard the sheets rustle anyway, and cursed myself for disturbing her.

"Edward?"

"I'm…" _Okay,_ I wanted to say. Instead, I chose to be honest. "Thinking."

Bella's hand came to rest on my arm, and I moved my own to cover it, squeezing her fingers gently.

"What about?" she asked softly.

"Everything." I swallowed hard, suddenly unsure of myself, then turned my head to look at her. "I want to try and talk to you about things… but I don't know where to start."

"You don't have to say anything right now," she murmured. "Only when you need or want to. Don't force it."

I nodded, looking back down at my lap. "Can I, uh… Can I ask you something?"

Bella hummed in affirmation.

"Do you… miss it?"

"Miss what?"

I could picture the furrow of her brow.

"The compound." I heard Bella move closer behind me, but didn't look up. "The way things were, in there? Not the… danger aspect, of course, but… the closeness? How open we were sometimes?"

Her lips came to rest against my shoulder as she pressed her chest against my back, legs either side of mine. My free hand moved down to her thigh automatically, tracing patterns across her skin.

"A little," she replied quietly, words like a confession against my skin. "I miss being with you… the moments of peace we managed to steal… Things were simpler there, I guess."

"Yeah," I agreed.

Strange how being trapped in behind enemy lines with constant surveillance could feel simpler than being back in the outside world.

"Why do you ask?"

"I guess I didn't realize how different things were before," I murmured. "We're free, but we have less freedom now. Everything seems so much more…"

"Real," she finished, pressing a kiss to my shoulder. I squeezed her hand, unable to find words to say.

"We don't touch as much," Bella said softly after a moment, sliding her free arm round my waist. "I think that adds to the distance. Before, we were always in contact somehow, even when it was all for show, just because we could be…"

"Bella…" I turned round and met her gaze. She smiled sadly, reaching up to run her fingers through my hair. I sighed, eyes drifting shut as the fingers of her other hand untangled from mine and slowly ran up my arm.

"_This_ is enough for me," she breathed. "Recently, I've been so selfish with you, and you've let me be, but-"

"Selfish?" I frowned. "How?"

"I've allowed you to focus on what _I _need and what _I_ want since you saved me, but never actually asked you what you need."

"I just need you," I told her honestly. She breathed out a soft laugh, her smile genuine. "I'm going to try and let you in more. I know I'm not exactly easy to handle right now, and-"

"Baby, please don't think I'm saying-"

"I know you're worried about me," I soothed, reaching for her hand again and bringing it up to my lips. "Just don't turn _into_ me, alright? Don't start hiding things to try and stop me worrying."

She looked down at her lap guiltily, chewing on her bottom lip.

"Bella?"

_She already was hiding things from me._

"My leg is…" She shook her head. "It's healing, but it hurts so badly sometimes that I can't walk. And I'm still having nightmares when you're on watch."

I swallowed my guilt_. _I hadn't realized her nightmares were still bad, and even though I knew her leg wasn't at full strength, I had no idea it was causing her that much pain… but instead of beating myself up about it, I decided to try being honest back.

"I can't sleep, and when I do I have nightmares, too." I replied. _Baby steps. _"My shoulder hurts like Hell, and recently I've noticed my range of motion's shit."

A soft laugh burst from her lips and she gave me a teary smile. _That's better._

"We're a mess," she murmured.

"Yeah… We are," I breathed, smiling back. "We'll figure things out, with time."

"I hope so," she sighed. I slowly leaned closer, gaze dropping down to her lips and back up again.

"We will." _I had to believe that. _"But first… I wanna be _selfish_."

My lips met hers before she could reply, and her answering moan told me all I needed to know. _She needed this too._

As Bella wove her fingers into my hair, her free hand trailed up my chest and curled into my t-shirt, tugging me closer. I deepened the kiss, carefully guiding Bella back down onto the bed so I could hover above her, relishing in the feel of her against me.

Bella brought the knee of her good leg up to my hip, then let out a breathy moan as I reached down and pulled the other one up to wrap around me. She pulled me closer with her legs, not allowing for any space between us, and the hand which wasn't in my hair slid up my waist, searching for purchase.

Smiling against her lips, I took her hand in mine and lightly pressed it into the mattress, just above her head. Bella's fingers splayed against my own, then squeezed tightly as I gently took her bottom lip between both of mine, teasing it with my teeth.

"Edward," she gasped, rolling her hips upwards into mine. When I pushed down to meet her, her head fell back against the pillows and I didn't hesitate to trail kisses along her jaw, gently sucking the area below her ear before making my way down to her neck.

"_Oh…_" she breathed. Her hand tightened in my hair briefly, then guided my lips back to hers. Her tongue traced my bottom lip before coaxing them to part, and I forgot myself, reaching down with the hand that wasn't holding hers to trace the curve of her waist over her sleep shirt…

My shoulder burned in protest and I grunted in pain, pressing my hand back down onto the mattress to support myself again, but the damage had been done. I silently cursed, ready to move off her, but Bella didn't hesitate.

In one smooth move, she rolled us over onto our sides, taking any weight off my shoulder, then kissed me again, refusing to deny us this moment. I breathed in deeply, trying to focus on her instead of the pain, only to release that breath in a gasp when Bella's hand reached up and pressed against my shoulder.

I groaned softly into her mouth as her hand began to gently massage the sore muscles, careful to avoid my scars, but still somehow managing to drain the tension from the area bit by bit. Taking care not to move my arm too suddenly, I slowly reached for her hip, pulling her closer as she continued to massage my shoulder, then pressed my forehead to hers as the pressure increased.

"That okay?" she breathed. Eyes closed, I nodded, unable to describe how amazing it felt.

"You're so tense here," she muttered, fingers rubbing over the same area to try and ease it. "Damn it."

"Bella…"

"Sit up?" she asked softly, moving away to allow me to move. I did as she asked, then watched as she shifted round to my side, legs tucked beneath her.

Before I could ask what she was doing, she started massaging my shoulders again, with both hands this time. I let my head drop forwards, lips parted and eyes closed, absorbing the sensations.

"I know I'm not a physiotherapist, but can you put this arm out straight in front of you please?" she murmured after a moment. I did so easily, but when she asked me to raise that arm straight up, I groaned in pain, feeling my shoulder seize in protest.

"I felt that," she muttered. "Fuck, Edward…"

I let her guide me through several motions to test how well my shoulder responded, frustration growing more and more with every failed attempt. Some movements were okay, but others were just too painful or almost impossible.

_Months down the line… you won't be able to carry your baby as your arm will be fucked._ Aimee's words from the Oregon center came back to haunt me.

"Bella, stop," I eventually sighed. I heard her clear her throat, then allowed her to slowly lower my arm back down to my side before taking her hand in mine.

"Baby…" she almost whimpered, curling herself against my side, lips pressing against my scarred skin.

"I know," I ground out, "but it's my own fault."

"No, it's n-not." Bella squeezed my hand tightly. "It's _theirs."_

I tilted my head so it rested against hers and brought my free hand around to stroke her arm, only to find it trembling beneath my fingers.

"We'll h-have to tr-try and fin-nd some wa-ay to start g-getting that- range- of- m-motion b-back," Bella stuttered.

_Oh, fuck…_

"Bella," I soothed, turning to face her and cupping her cheek in one hand as the other remained holding hers. "It's alright."

"N-N-No, it's n-n-not." Her breaths were fast, and I could feel her shaking.

"Hey…" I breathed, tilting her chin up to meet her gaze. _She was scared._

Ignoring how my shoulder twinged, I reached out and pulled her into my lap, letting her legs straighten out sideways across me. Her arms immediately wrapped round me, and I held her just as tightly back, burying my face in her hair as she inhaled a shuddered breath.

"Why didn't you s-say?"

"I was stupid," I murmured. "I pushed it to the back of my mind."

"_Edward_," she moaned.

"I know."

My shoulder was worse than I'd realized, but I couldn't exactly go back and change things now.

_You fucking idiot._

I clamped my eyes shut, like that would block out the thoughts running through my mind, and focused so hard on keeping calm that I almost missed Bella's next words.

"… or something."

I cleared my throat, trying to refocus. "Sorry?"

"I s-said we should go to a doctor or something," Bella repeated, voice worryingly quiet.

"You know we can't do that," I sighed. "It's not worth risking everybody's safety."

"You'd let us go if I needed something for the b-baby," she countered.

She was right.

"That's different," I replied weakly.

"Not to me." Bella straightened up slightly, gaze defiant as it met mine. "I'm going to need a scan soon. We can do both at the same time."

"I-" I began to protest, but she quickly cut me off.

"Don't even," she said firmly, bringing her hand up to my chest. I held her stare for a moment, then nodded in defeat.

"Fine."

"You promise?" she asked, tone vulnerable.

"When have _I_ ever broken a promise?" I replied, not realizing the implications until Bella pulled back, expression guilty.

"Y_ou_ haven't."

_You're not going to do anything stupid, are you?... 'I won't do anything that I don't have to. I swear…'_

'_Code black… Tell them that I'm sure. Please. Promise me?' … I promise._

I swallowed against the unwanted memories and pressed Bella tightly back against me, hating how she resisted.

"That's the past," I whispered into her hair. _Then why is it still haunting our future?_ "And… I forgive you."

Bella's answering whimper solidified the words as truth.

"How can you?" She looked up at me through tear-filled eyes, expression disbelieving. I gently pushed a stray strand of hair back from her cheek, letting my fingers linger against her skin.

"I love you," I answered simply, because it was true. I wouldn't be able to move on - would never _trust_ her again - without forgiving her first.

All Bella's breath seemed to leave her at once, and the expression on her face as my words sunk in… hopeful, wrecked and relieved all at the same time. I lowered my lips to hers, then groaned as she kissed me back almost desperately, fingers curling into my hair again as she pulled herself closer.

Maybe she' d needed to hear those words just as much as I'd needed to mean them.

* * *

><p>As Bella and I made our way downstairs some time later, we could just about hear Jasper and Emmett's voices coming from the kitchen, but I didn't rush, focusing instead on getting Bella down one step at a time. Now that I knew her leg was causing her pain, it was far easier to notice the signs, and I had insisted on supporting her as we walked to join the others so that she didn't overexert herself even more.<p>

"…'s probably not the best plan…"

"What if we tried…"

"… asked Edward?"

At the sound of our footsteps in the hallway, the conversation stopped, and within moments Rosalie stepped through the entryway to meet us.

"Hey," she greeted softly, smiling. "How are you feeling?"

"Better," I replied. "Thank you."

"Do you need help?" she asked, gesturing to Bella, who shook her head.

"We got it," Bella assured her, flashing Rose a strained smile.

"Do you want coffee, Edward? There's a fresh pot," Rose wondered as we followed her into the kitchen.

"No, thanks," I replied, smiling back at her. Emmett and Jasper raised their mugs in greeting from their positions around the counter island, wide awake despite it barely being past seven in the morning.

"Okay, well… we were just about to start breakfast, if you want some?" she offered instead.

Bella let out a soft laugh, then grimaced as she pushed herself onto one of the chairs set up by the counter island in the middle of the room. "Sure, that would be nice, Rose."

"Sleep okay?" Emmett wondered, looking to me. I nodded, then shot a pointed glance in Bella's direction. His face softened in understanding. "You look tired, Bells."

"Exactly what every woman wants to hear first thing in the morning," Bella joked, rolling her eyes at him before looking over her shoulder for me. I immediately realized what she wanted, and quickly moved to stand beside her, placing my hand on the small of her back. She sighed softly, leaning into the touch, then settled her gaze on Jasper.

"Everything alright, Jazz?" she asked quietly.

"I'm fine, darlin'," he assured her. "Emmett and I were actually just discussing how we might be able to put a plan in motion."

Rose shot him a pointed look.

"But that can wait until after we've eaten," Emmett added, then took a sip of his coffee.

"Eggshells aren't needed, guys," Bella told them, realizing what they were doing. "Thanks for trying, but-"

"They're right," I interrupted, rubbing her back soothingly. "It can wait half an hour."

Jasper's eyebrows went up in surprise. _I know_, I almost wanted to say. _I'm surprised at me, too._

"I know I've been putting everyone on edge lately, and I'm sorry," I said to the room, making eye contact with Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper in turn. "I'm working on that. But for now, let's try and get through one meal without discussing our situation? I think we all need to breathe for a moment."

Rose's smile was relieved as she gathered the eggs for breakfast, and I saw Emmett grin over the edge of his coffee cup.

"Alright," Jasper agreed. "One meal, then back to business. We can't afford to lose too much time."

I nodded in understanding, then bent down to kiss the top of Bella's head and forced myself not to smile when she curled her fingers through one of the belt loops of my jeans in response.

True to their word, nobody mentioned anything about _The Volturi_, Jane, Alec, or anything else related to our fucked up situation during breakfast, and I could almost imagine what our future could be like once everything was over. We had steady friends for life in Rosalie and Emmett, and Jasper was bound to Bella through Jake and Alice, connecting us all in strange ways.

But the peace couldn't last forever, and soon we were moving back into the lounge to discuss a plan. I helped Bella to the sofa and took my place beside her, gently laying one hand on her thigh as she leaned in to me. Rose and Emmett took the sofa opposite us, but Jasper remained standing, leaning against the unused fireplace with a fresh cup of coffee in his hand. It was almost a mirror of the previous night, only this time the atmosphere was filled with a different kind of tension.

"So…" I began tentatively. "What were you discussing before we came down?"

"Jasper thinks he might be able to track down Alec and Jane," Emmett told us. Bella tensed beside me.

"H-How and why would we do that?" Bella said slowly. _Stay strong, baby._

"You remember Peter?" Jasper replied. Bella nodded. "He might be able to hack into security cams around the city, get us the info we need to track them down. If we do that… we can take them out, maybe use them to gather intel on what _The Volturi_ are planning."

"They're too much of a threat to leave," Emmett continued. "Both to us and to the public. Better to find them first than the other way round."

"What makes you think they'll talk?" I asked, frowning. "They won't respond to torture – they deal it out on a day to day basis."

"Doesn't mean they've been on the receiving end of it," Jasper pointed out. "You said they're twins, right? We can use them against each other."

"It's risky," Bella murmured. "Jasper, are you _sure_ Peter will be able to manage that?"

"He owes me a favor," Jasper replied, then looked to me and Emmett. "He was a friend of mine back when I was in the army. Computer genius, could hack into almost anything within minutes."

"I thought he retired?" Bella's brow furrowed.

"Do people like us ever fully retire?"

Bella shrugged. "Good point."

"Okay, say we do manage to track down the twins… What are the chances they'll be guarded? Felix and Demetri survived both hits on the compound, Edward; would they be assigned to the twins?" Emmett wondered.

"No." I shook my head. "Aro would want them with him or maybe James. They're too valuable."

"James…" Bella muttered, shuddering. I rubbed her thigh reassuringly.

"I know I'm the weakest link in the chain here," Rosalie began, "but if we track them, how do we get them under our control? They won't come easy."

"We'd need bait if we wanted to bring them to us," Jasper admitted.

"I could do it?" Bella suggested. "I need to go in for a scan at some point anyway, and Edward needs his shoulder checked out, so why not be obvious about it? Choose a clinic near where they're hiding out and draw them in?"

"That's risky," Emmett pointed out. "If _The Volturi_ are somehow guarding them and something backfired…"

"I know, but-"

"It's a stupid idea." I turned to Bella, trying to remain calm. She looked at back me, frustrated.

"Edward, it would work!"

"No." I shook my head. "You are _not_ risking your safety again. Do you understand me?"

"You'd be with me," she protested.

"And what if something happened?" I countered. "Are you seriously going to tell me you would run if I told you to? That you wouldn't give yourself up to them to protect us?"

Her expression morphed into one of pure hurt.

"I can't trust you in a situation like that," I confessed, taking her hand in mine. "I want to, Bella, but I also _know _you. I won't risk losing you again."

"I agree, darlin'," Jasper said softly. "Your sacrificial streak is a mile wide, and I think we'd all be worryin' about you too much to focus."

"We have to do _something_ to draw them out," Bella protested, but she squeezed my hand tightly, the fight gone from her.

"Or we could take them down on their own turf?" I suggested. "If we tracked them to wherever they're staying, we could wait for them there, surprise attack?"

"That could work," Jasper agreed. "It's potentially risky; there would be no guarantee the place would be empty, but… it _is_ a better alternative."

"What would we do with them after?" Rose asked warily.

"Oh, they won't be surviving the interrogation," Jasper replied casually. In that, we agreed. "We'll dissolve 'em, maybe leave one for _The Volturi_ to find, let them know we're coming for them? They'll be dead either way."

Bella shuddered, curling into my side. "Good."

"Then there's James to deal with," Emmett reminded us. "Especially now we know _who_ he wants."

"Bella," I sighed.

"What?" Bella turned to look at me, aghast. _Oh, fuck, she still didn't know about the photo._

"When Emmett first found out about the leak, he discovered something," I told her quietly. "When James escaped our custody, he left a message on the wall… He said he was coming for you, and we think he may have known where we were."

Bella gasped, eyes widening with fear.

"No…" she whispered. "I thought… _No…"_

"Bells," Emmett began, but Bella cut him off.

"You didn't think that m-maybe I m-might need to kn-know that?!"

"We were a little distracted by the sirens to tell you!" Emmett countered. Rose put a hand on his arm to calm him.

Bella buried her face in her hands, curling protectively over her stomach. "Oh, my God."

"This is why we couldn't trust _The Agency_," I told her softly, running my hand up and down her back. "He knew exactly where you were, what you were doing..."

"It had to be someone in the Oregon center," Rosalie pointed out.

"Or Carlisle," I replied. Everybody went quiet in contemplation.

"I feel sick," I heard Bella mutter.

"I'll go get you some water." Rosalie hurried to the kitchen, probably grateful to escape the mounting tension.

"This is why we need to be careful," Jasper sighed. "This stress is dangerous for the baby, darlin'."

"He's right," Rosalie said softly as she reentered the room, handing me a glass of water to give to Bella. "Any kind of stress or strain could harm the baby, especially after what you've already been through."

Emmett reached for her instinctually, eyes sad. _She'd told him._

"If he uses a phone, we might be able to track him, too," Jasper assured Bella.

"_Volturi_ phones can't be traced," I replied. "Trust me. The only record of whose phone is whose isn't accessible to _anyone_ but the top few, and even if we somehow did get access, it's still encoded. No names, just numbers."

"We could still try," Jasper suggested. "We just need to be smart about it."

"Marcus…" Bella muttered, taking the glass from my hand and drinking a small sip of water. "He could get us access."

"Maybe," I admitted. "But to get to Marcus, we'd have to go through _The Agency."_

"Shit," Emmett breathed.

"Exactly," I agreed.

"Wait…" Jasper seemed to mull something over for a moment before continuing, "If Marcus could get us access to their database or network… Peter might be able to get us more info on _The Volturi_ as a whole, maybe even enough to bring that entire house of cards down. If we could decode the names…"

"Rose, what was in that folder you found?" Bella wondered, looking up.

"A bunch of names… numbers… A couple of property deeds and stuff… I never really…"

"The Denali's had intel like that, too," I remembered. "But they're in _Agency_ hands now, and so is their info."

"No matter what we do, we'll need Carlisle at some point," Bella sighed.

"There are too many variables right now." Jasper set down his empty mug. "We need to take out the immediate threat first."

"The twins," I agreed. Jasper nodded.

"And Bella needs her scan," Rosalie added. "We're overdue a supply run anyway…"

"What about Alice and Jake?" Bella asked quietly, looking to Jasper. "Are they safe with you gone?"

"I'd feel more comfortable if we were with them, but I can't risk exposing them to the twins."

Bella nodded in understanding and settled back into my side, seeking comfort once again.

"Once they're out the way, we can join Alice in Arizona. That safe house is more secure than this one," Jasper continued.

"Arizona?" I felt my eyebrow raise.

"I was settling things up in Seattle when I got the message," Jasper told me. "That's how I got here so fast."

"Right," I muttered.

"How soon can you get in touch with this Peter guy?" Emmett asked.

"A couple of days?" Jasper guessed. "He's gone pretty far underground, but I know how to reach him."

"Then let's do it," I replied.

"I'll have to reach out to him alone," Jasper warned. "He's not exactly the most trusting of people."

"You're gonna have to leave," Bella realized.

"I'll be back," he promised. "Give me one day, maybe two, and I'll make contact."

"Alright," Bella ceded.

"In the meantime, I suggest we stock up. Food, supplies… anything we might need for the next couple of weeks," Jasper put forward. "While we're tracking the twins, it would be foolish to leave unless absolutely necessary."

"I'll check free clinics around town, see if maybe we could take Bella for her scan before things get too rough," Rosalie offered.

"Your shoulder," Bella murmured worriedly. "We need to get that checked, too. And Emmett… your ribs."

"One step at a time," Emmett replied. "That baby comes first."

Bella's hand curved round her stomach.

"Okay, Emmett, Rose… We can take my car."

"What about us?" Bella protested.

"Someone has to stay," Jasper countered. "And no offense, but if _The Volturi_ do have eyes looking for the four of you, it's your two faces that they'll recognize first."

He had a point.

"Okay, but if anything feels wrong…"

"We'll come right back," Jasper promised, smiling reassuringly.

And, as I watched the three of them drive away in Jasper's car just under an hour later, I found myself trusting that they would.


	11. The Edge

**A/N: A big thank you to everybody who's continuing to review, favourite and review this story. I'm so, so grateful for it, and it's the kick I need to just get up and **_**write!**_** I really hope I managed to reply to all of you who reviewed and have private messaging switched on – if I missed anybody I'm SO sorry! **

**This chapter is a little fluffy until about two thirds down, but you'll understand why pretty quick, I hope. Action's coming next chapter, promise, but I thought these guys needed a moment of happiness before… well, I can't tell you exactly what 'before' is, but you'll find out soon!**

**The next chapter shouldn't take too long I hope - my new job is only part time so balancing uni, work and writing should be so much easier than it was in the past!**

**Enjoy! xx**

* * *

><p><em>No one is as lucky as us…<em>

_We're not at the end, but we already won…  
><em>Where the Lines Overlap – Paramore

"Nervous?"

Fingers drumming against the steering wheel, I turned to Bella and shrugged.

"Are you?"

She shrugged, perfect mirror image.

"A little?" she admitted, looking out the window to the building we were pulled up outside of.

"We can do this," I assured both her and myself. "It's gonna be a breeze."

"Yeah," she breathed, forcing a smile. "Rose and Emmett have our backs anyway, right?"

"Always," I replied, glancing up at the rearview mirror. I couldn't see the two of them, but knew they were there somewhere, watching out in case anything happened.

"You ready?" I asked her softly. Bella nodded and let out a shaky breath.

"Let's do it," she murmured.

Shooting her a small smile, I got out the car, shut my door, then quickly walked round to help Bella out. She grimaced as she stood up, leg a little stiff from being in the car a while, but held herself steady as I locked the car and pocketed the key. I held my hand out for her to take, squeezing reassuringly when she gripped it tightly and her other hand came up to hold my arm for support.

We slowly made our way inside, gave our fake name as Peter suggested, then sat down on the chairs nervously to wait. Bella kept fiddling with the edge of her dress as we waited, hand occasionally moving up to curve against her growing stomach. I reached over with my free hand to cover it, and when she looked up at me in surprise, I leaned in and kissed her softly.

Her body relaxed a little and she smiled genuinely, though I could see the anxiety in her eyes.

"Don't think about it," I murmured. "Focus on now. It probably won't even take half an hour – we can't afford to miss it."

She swallowed audibly, then nodded. "Yeah."

We both looked up at the sound of our 'name', then hurriedly followed the woman who'd called for us into another room. I guided Bella to sit down on the couch and helped her swing her legs up so she could lie down.

As the woman got everything set up, I pulled up a chair next to Bella and took her hand again. Unlike before, she squeezed my hand back but was still alert, focused on the moment, and as she pulled her dress up, I saw her expression shift from anxiety to excitement.

"Okay, Maria, I'm gonna put this gel on your stomach and we'll be able to see your baby," the sonographer said softly.

The moment our baby appeared on the screen, it was like a spell had been cast over the two of us, all worries of being found melting away, leaving our minds clear to focus on the screen in front of us.

"Oh, this will be an easy one, I can tell," she continued. "See there? That's the spine… your baby's head… and look, kicking legs!"

"I can't feel that," Bella mumbled, gaze transfixed on the screen.

"You said you were around seventeen weeks now?"

We nodded.

"Then you'll probably start feeling it soon," she assured Bella. "It's nothing to worry about."

"I want to feel it," Bella said softly as she squeezed my hand. "It will feel more real."

I lifted our joined hands and kissed her knuckles. _It is real._

"See that fluttering right there?"

"That's the heart, right?" I realized, smiling brightly as she hummed in affirmation.

"Can we hear it?" Bella asked.

"Of course."

A fast, dull thumping filled the room and Bella let out a loud gasp, free hand covering her mouth as she started to laugh, tears streaming from her eyes.

"Amazing, isn't it?"

Bella nodded. "Oh, my God…"

Dragging her eyes from the screen, she turned to me and smiled so brightly, I felt my own eyes burn.

"That's our baby," she whispered.

"Sure is," I murmured, my own smile mirroring hers before we both focused back on the screen again.

"Here's your baby's arm… See how their hand is up by their face? There's the eyes… the mouth…"

"They're perfect," I breathed, leaning forwards, as if I could get closer to the baby that way.

The sonographer guided us through the rest of the baby's body, pointing out the toes, fingers, spine… Our baby was developing perfectly, right on track for the seventeen week stage.

"Do you guys want to know the gender of your baby?"

We looked at each other.

"Yeah."

* * *

><p>"So… What's the verdict?" Rosalie asked as she and Emmett walked into the kitchen a couple of minutes after me and Bella had arrived home. The two had shadowed us until we were almost back at the house, but took a slightly different route for the final ten minutes as a precaustion.<p>

"The baby's healthy," Bella replied, grinning. I pulled her further into my side and kissed her temple, nodding in greeting at Emmett as Rosalie stepped closer.

"And…?" Rose looked almost nervous, eyes dropping to Bella's stomach expectantly.

Bella looked at me for assurance, so I tilted my head in Rose's direction before looking up to meet Jasper's gaze. He'd stayed behind to watch over the house while we were gone, but I could tell he was interested too; the two of us had developed an uneasy, unspoken bond over the week since he'd returned from hunting down Peter.

"It's… a girl." Bella barely got the words out before Rose was flinging her arms round her and almost squealing with excitement. Bella laughed softly but hugged her just as tightly back.

Emmett grinned at me, and Jasper nodded like he was satisfied with the answer, expression soft as he watched Bella and Rosalie revel in the moment.

"I'm so happy for you!" Rose exclaimed. "I told you, Em! I _told_ you it was a girl!"

"Okay, okay, you win," Emmett muttered, rolling his eyes exaggeratedly.

"Did they give you a picture?

"Yeah! Edward?" Bella looked to me, and I took the picture from my pocket, handing it to her with a smile.

"Oh, Bella…" I saw Rose's eyes glimmer as she looked down at the grainy image, fingers tracing lightly over our girl's face. Bella's gaze softened as she took in Rose's expression, and I smiled sadly in understanding.

Rosalie never got to see her baby.

Emmett moved forwards slowly to rest his hand on the small of her back.

"She's beautiful," he murmured with a smile, though his expression was pensive.

"Ya'll gonna let me see or what?" Jasper asked quietly, breaking the moment gently.

Bella laughed, her own eyes watery as she gestured for him to come closer.

"Oh, wow…" Even Jasper smiled when he saw my daughter's profile.

_My daughter_… My Little B…

I almost wanted to pinch myself.

"Did you get your shoulder checked out?" Jasper went on to ask, frowning in concern.

"Yeah," I assured him. "There's not much they could do there and then, but I've got some exercises to do that should help get some mobility back."

"Good," he replied. "You're gonna need it if you're gonna hold this little darlin'."

"I know." Seeing our daughter – _I couldn't stop thinking it_ – switched something on inside of both of us. I was determined not to let my shoulder prevent me from being a proper father to my little girl, and I knew something had changed in Bella too – I saw it on her face the moment she held that photo.

"Got any names in mind?" Rosalie asked. None of us acknowledged the crack in her voice, nor the way she discreetly wiped a tear from her cheek.

"I was thinking maybe Elizabeth, after Edward's mom," Bella replied. Her gaze flickered to mine for reassurance, but all I could do was smile back at her.

"Lovely name for a lovely baby girl," Rose murmured thoughtfully.

"Yeah," Jasper agreed. "Jake will adore her."

Bella looked up, a single tear rolling down her cheek. "You think so?"

"I know so," he replied.

The pressure in my chest eased a little at that. Bella had been so nervous about Jake's reaction to her pregnancy, worried he'd think she was replacing him when they were reunited… to hear _that_ from the man who probably doubted us the most was huge.

"Do we have any news on Ale-"

"Stop," Emmett cut across, hand covering Bella's mouth. "Not now."

"But-"

"Bells, you _just_ found out you're having a daughter," he pointed out. "Go upstairs and _enjoy_ the moment together!"

"Emmett!" Bella hissed, eyes wide at his implication.

"What?" he defended. "All I'm saying is… you've _earned_ this. Let us handle things for an hour." He looked over at me. "Edward, I know you've been hands on up 'til now with the plan, but come on, man…"

He was right. Ever since Jasper had managed to connect with Peter, I'd spent most days hashing out details with them both, scouring camera feeds for any sight of the twins.

So far, we'd had minimal luck; they were good at hiding their tracks, but what we had seen of them had been telling. Bella had been a valuable asset too, but she was more focused on the action side of things, coming up with extraction plans and other ways to potentially get the upper hand. It turned out the skills she used to get Rose and I out were only the tip of the iceberg - seeing her in her element like that was like watching a whole other person; she wasn't just _Bella_ anymore, she was an _Agent_.

"I'm all for that," I said softly. Bella turned to me in surprise, but her eyes were hopeful. "If you're sure, then…"

"You've given me and Rosie time," Emmett pointed out. "Let us return the favor. It's the middle of the damn day, and you're both on watch tonight. So… _Go_."

I didn't need telling twice.

With a grateful smile at all three of them, I took Bella's hand tightly in mine and guided her towards the door.

"If anything happens…" Bella couldn't resist adding.

"We won't come and get you," Jasper called. I laughed softly, shooting him a thankful look, then placed my hand on Bella's lower back as she led the way upstairs.

Once we were in our bedroom, Bella moved to the bed and sat down, gazing at the scan picture in her hands. After a moment's pause, I closed the door behind me, then walked over to join her. Bella leaned into my side automatically, head resting on my shoulder as she tilted the photo so I could get a better look.

"It feels so much more real now," she murmured. "It didn't really… I kept _forgetting, _you know? It really isn't just me anymore. It's _her_ now, too."

"Yeah," I replied softly, rubbing my hand up and down her arm in gentle motions.

"I can't be anywhere near it when things go down," she mused. "No way in hell. I've gotta be miles away."

I closed my eyes briefly, thanking whatever deity may be up there. _She finally saw things the way the rest of us did._

"I'm so used to being in the middle of all the action that… I guess part of me doesn't know how _not_ to be anymore," she admitted, stroking her fingers across her bump.

"You'll get used to being on the sidelines soon enough," I assured her. "One day, the only action that's going to be happening is if we're late picking up one of the kids from school."

"_Kids_?" Bella repeated quietly, eyes flickering to meet mine.

"Jake, Elizabeth… and who knows, maybe one day…" I shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant.

Bella smiled as she leaned in and kissed me softly.

"Yeah," she breathed against my lips. "Maybe one day."

I couldn't describe how hearing that made me feel.

"I know I should feel embarrassed or awkward about this, maybe even guilty for leaving them to try and…" She frowned and shook her head slightly, causing her lips to brush against mine. "But things are about to get really… _heavy_, and I just…" Moving slowly, Bella turned to face me, hands coming up to grip my shoulders as she stood on shaky legs. "I just…"

Instead of continuing, she pressed her lips fully against my own, and my hands reached for her hips to hold her steady as her fingers curled into my t-shirt, pulling me closer. I pushed myself up straighter, then let out a quiet groan as one of Bella's hands moved higher and her fingers carded through my hair.

Breaths audible between us, Bella slowly raised one knee and planted it on the bed beside my thigh and, unable to stop myself from running a hand over the soft skin under her dress, all I could do was keep kissing her as she lifted the other.

Straddling me now, the heat behind her kisses increased, and I felt my body rock backwards slightly as her other hand moved to my cheek, guiding me closer –_ always closer – _and almost overwhelming me. My free hand, desperate for purchase, slid its way from her hip to her waist, then round to her back, but instead of flinching as I expected, Bella simply reached down and tugged at the hem of my t-shirt, pulling it hastily over my head and dumping it ceremoniously on the floor.

"B-"

"Shhh," she whispered, kisses silencing me more than her words. Taking my hands in hers, she guided my fingers to the front of her dress, and I didn't hesitate to undo the buttons just far enough to loosen the fabric before she raised her arms and I was pulling it away from her body.

Before I had the chance to move, Bella reached behind herself with one hand, quickly undoing her bra before it too was dropped to the floor, leaving her almost completely bare above me. Her bump was so much more obvious now; I could _feel_ her skin pressed against my abdomen, and couldn't resist running my fingers along its curve on their way up to smooth her hair away from her neck.

"We've earned this," Bella almost gasped as I dragged my lips along her skin, collarbone to neck, before pressing wet kisses to her jaw. _"God…_ We need this._"_

When I finally brought my lips back to hers, Bella moaned softly, her mouth parting instantly, tongue gently teasing my bottom lip as she slowly guided me backwards until I was lying on the bed with her leaning over me, propping herself up by her hands. With her body so fully against mine, I couldn't hold back a groan, one hand slipping along her waist to graze the side of her breast, the other moving down so my fingers could slide beneath the waistband of her panties, barely touching her ass.

"Edward…" she breathed, reaching between us so she could fumble with the button of my jeans. I inhaled sharply at the contact, already aching for her, then let it out in a long, shaky breath as her fingers managed to pull down the zipper.

"Off," she pleaded, sitting up straighter and carefully trying to push my jeans down.

"Easy," I murmured, lifting my hips and helping her get the fabric over them so I could finally kick them off with my feet, leaving us almost completely bare to each other.

As she settled back on top of me, her hair fell round my face like a curtain, drawing all my focus purely to her. She smiled, a soft, subtle motion, then brought her hand up to run her fingers through the hair near my forehead, pushing it back before coming back down to settle on my cheek. She lowered her lips to mine, kissing me almost chastely once, twice… gaze fixed on mine the whole time.

"You want me?" she whispered, lips ghosting against mine as she spoke.

I smiled, emotion squeezing my chest as I remembered.

"Yes," I breathed, moving my hands to her hips as I lifted my head just enough to kiss her, true to that first memory. "Yes, I want you."

Bella laughed softly. Her eyes glistened. "You remember."

"Of course I do," I replied. "It was our first time."

She contemplated something for a moment before pushing herself upright and shuffling backwards. She started to stand up, so I quickly moved to steady her, unsure of what she wanted.

"This can come off," she whispered, fingers tracing the outline of the dressing on her thigh she wore so clothes wouldn't rub against the healing wound. I still had yet to see the scars there; Rosalie usually helped Bella as she'd not been comfortable with me seeing yet, much like the scars on her back.

"Are you sure?" I murmured. Bella nodded, taking my hand in hers and pulling it so my fingers could feel the edge of the adhesive tape. With a steadying breath, I slowly began to peel back the tape, not allowing myself to look at the scars until the dressing was able to be pulled back completely.

I swallowed audibly as I reached out with a trembling hand, fingers barely trailing across her skin. The scars were smooth yet uneven at the same time, thicker in some areas and thinner in others, and ever so slightly dipped in the center. _Where the initial wound was,_ my mind supplied.

I had so many questions, but instead of voicing them, I let my fingers move higher until they curled under the waistband of her panties, slowly pushing them down her legs as I looked up to meet her gaze.

"I love you," I told her, then let my fingers trail up her thighs again before steadying her hips as she stepped out her underwear, legs trembling slightly. I leaned forwards to kiss her stomach, and sighed softly when she brought a hand up to touch the back of my neck.

"Stand up?"

I did as she asked, then moaned against her lips as she kissed me once again, one hand staying at the back of my neck while the other slid from my waist up to my chest. On impulse, I reached down and gripped her thighs, pulling her up against me so she had no choice but to wrap her arms and legs around me.

"Your shoulder," she mumbled against my lips as I deepened the kiss.

Instead of replying, I slowly carried her over to the chest of drawers which housed our clothes and gently set her on top of it, leaving me standing between her legs. Bella's hands dropped, one covering the scar on my shoulder, the other pressed against my chest as her tongue teased mine, legs pulling me as close as possible.

"You have no idea," she whispered against my lips, fingers tracing a pattern down to the waistband of my boxer-briefs, toying with the elastic. I trailed kisses down her neck as I pulled my hips back just far enough for her to ease the boxer-briefs down my legs, and I absently kicked them away before shifting forwards again.

Bella let out an open-mouthed moan, hand tightening its grip on my shoulder as I pressed against her fully for the first time.

"Oh, God," she almost whimpered, mouth moving against mine with renewed fervor as my fingers traced the curve of her breast, unable to resist touching her bare skin.

Things felt different but the same in a way that I couldn't explain. Every touch meant more somehow, every kiss hit deeper, and my hands couldn't stop relearning her body, running along her waist, her thighs, her breasts, her stomach… an endless loop mirrored by her own hands until she reached up and cupped my face in both hands.

"Edward…" Her hips shifted, and I felt the tip of me nudge against her. She moaned as I let out a soft grunt, suddenly overwhelmed. "Please…"

I lowered one hand between us, fingertips parting her folds, and gasped at how ready she was, how much she wanted this. With a gentle shake of her head, Bella reached down to pull my hand away, kissing me fiercely as she wrapped her fingers around me, guiding me exactly where we both wanted.

If Heaven existed, I would have believed it in that moment. The sound of her moans, her breaths, of our lips and skin sliding together… being inside her… feeling her hands trail across my body as we moved… It felt perfect, and when her legs pulled me into her tightly as she came, all I could do was fall over the edge with her, legs barely keeping us upright as I buried my face in her neck.

"_I love you,_" Bella gasped, hand gripping my hair as she rode it out. I moaned softly, pressing an opened mouth kiss to her neck.

"I love you," I breathed, raising my head just enough to bring our lips together again. We kissed slowly, deeply, savoring every second until I carefully pulled my hips away from hers.

Bella whimpered softly and used her legs to bring my body closer again, arms wrapping tightly round my middle as she pressed her forehead against my neck, reluctant to part. I ran one hand through her hair and let the other trace patterns across her scarred thigh, surprised when she didn't flinch from my touch.

We stayed there, letting time pass for a while in a comfortable silence. Neither of us seemed willing to move from where we were, choosing to simply run our hands over each other's skin instead, but after I while I could feel the tension gradually seep back into her body; her back straightened, her touch became more controlled before eventually stopping completely.

Our moment was over.

Instead of forcing her to stay, I placed a lingering kiss on the top of her head before stepping back and holding out my hands. Bella's gaze remained fixed towards the ground as I helped her down, but flicked up to mine as her legs trembled slightly at the sudden change in position.

She opened her mouth as if to speak, then shook her head slightly and pushed herself up on her toes to kiss me briefly before turning around and opening one of the drawers.

We dressed silently, and it felt as if the weight of hunting Alec and Jane was pressing down on us once more, stealing the happiness of seeing our daughter and the moment we shared, leaving only thoughts of the heavy task that lay ahead. I'd learned quickly that when it came to the twins, Bella didn't like to talk too much, instead focusing purely on the information she was processing, the plans she was helping to construct. It hurt a little for her to shut me out, but I understood why. To her, this was not personal, despite all the reasons why it was. She was making it a job, compartmentalizing her own feelings and keeping the two as separate as possible.

Didn't mean I had to like it, though.

"Ready?" I asked softly once we were both fully clothed. Bella nodded, scraping her hair up into a bun as I approached the door.

Before I could leave the bedroom, however, she reached out and grabbed my arm, turning me back round to face her. She slid her hand down to mine and guided it to her stomach, then raised her free hand up to my face, thumb gently stroking my cheek as our eyes met.

"Together," she whispered, smiling ever so slightly as her lips touched mine in a slow, lingering kiss.

"Always."

* * *

><p>"Did you check the cams downtown, Peter?"<p>

"Yes, but no sightings yet."

"What about SoDo? The industrial district?"

"I haven't spotted them in that area either, but I collected that list of unused properties you asked for. I'm sending it over right now."

As the information loaded on Jasper's screen, the five of us looked over his shoulder.

"That one," Bella said softly, pointing at the details of a small warehouse that was for sale. "That's where we've got to do it."

"Simple break in?" I suggested.

"The area's not too busy, so if you can get them there overnight…"

"They wouldn't take the bait," Emmett countered.

"So we don't bait them," I replied. "We _take_ them there."

"Exactly," Bella agreed. "They've got to have somewhere to lay low, so once we've narrowed it down…"

"Their comfort zone has a radius of _miles_," Jasper pointed out. "We've gone over this."

"Without cell phones to trace, traffic cams and surveillance are all we've got. I can't go any further than that," Peter's voice added over the speakerphone.

"We're going round in circles," I sighed. "Every time we get close, they move."

"There's gotta be a patt-" Bella began, but trailed off with wide eyes.

"Bells?"

Something had changed.

"Edward, how many hotels did you say Marcus owns in the area?"

"There's four." I frowned unsure where she was going with this – Peter had already tried hacking directly into their internal security feeds with no luck.

"Peter, stop checking the feeds outside the hotels," Bella instructed. "They're not there."

"How can you be sure?" Rose wondered.

"We know it's the twins. So do _The Agency_. Aro wouldn't let them draw attention to one of their properties; it's too risky." Bella tapped her pen against her paper. "But if something went wrong, they'd need somewhere to hide, right? A back-up?"

"Yeah," I agreed, "so…"

"Peter, what are the three cheapest motels and hotels closest to each of Marcus' properties?"

As Peter read out the addresses, Bella marked them on our map.

"Look…" Jasper pointed to the black crosses that noted where the victims had been found. "First victims were found within two miles of this motel…"

"The second were found the other side of the city though," Rose pointed out.

"But still within a mile radius of these two motels," Emmett countered.

"And the third?" Bella murmured.

"Here," Jasper showed her.

"They're bouncing between them," I realized. "It makes perfect sense; they wouldn't stay in one place for too long, someone might connect the dots between the check-in dates."

"The hotels are their safety beacons," Bella said softly. "So they check into one of the closest rooms, doesn't matter how far they travel to get their victims, as long as they can retreat to the hotel in an emergency. It explains why some of the victims were way off the spectrum."

"The police wouldn't have noticed the connection because they have no idea the killers work for the same organization as Marcus, so even if they checked motels door to door…"

"Odds of them finding the right one before the twins move on is next to none," I continued.

"Peter, where exactly were the latest victims found?" Bella asked.

I heard faint clicking over the phone. "21st and East Marion, thirty-six hours ago."

"Silver Cloud belongs to Marcus; that's what? 5 minutes away by car?" Bella frowned again, and I could almost see the wheels turning in her mind. "Cheapest room close to that?"

"The Inn, it's a ten minute walk maximum," Peter replied. "Two star hotel, pretty quiet…"

"They'll have moved on by now though, right?" Rose.

"Not necessarily." Jasper folded his arms across his chest. "They could be laying low, seeking out their next target."

"They did just slaughter a family of four," Emmett pointed out. Bella flinched, and I had to fight the urge to comfort her. That information had been hard for her to take.

"We can't just go knocking door to door in the hotel, but… Peter, can you get into their system?"

"Already there."

_Damn it, this guy was good._

"Any check-ins for the past four days?"

"Twelve, but eight have already checked out. Want me to eliminate card payments?"

"Yes-" Emmett began, but I quickly cut him off.

"No. They might have cards under fake names. How many check-outs in the next twenty-four hours?"

A pause. "One."

"It's them," Bella almost whispered, moving closer to where I was perched on the arm of the sofa. I rested my hand on her lower back, then sighed when she leaned against me, forehead pressing against my temple.

"How are we going to bring them out?" Rose asked. "Someone will notice if we drag two people out the hotel through the front door."

"Their car."

I looked to Jasper, intrigued by the suggestion.

"They're not walking, so they must have a vehicle of some sort to carry their instruments in."

"We already tried tracking license plates, though," Emmett reminded him. "Didn't work."

"We don't need a license plate," Bella realized. "Peter, is there a traffic cam or something that covers the parking lot? If we know which cars arrived in the same timeframe of the murder…"

"We'll know which one is theirs," Peter continued. "On it."

"They'll be in that parking lot," Bella said. "They wouldn't risk not being able to make a quick getaway."

"Stake out?" Emmett suggested. "We can wait for them to go to the car, grab them there?"

"Someone needs to get the warehouse ready, though."

"Edward, Bella, Rosalie… You can get things set up, me and Emmett can-"

"Two on two?" I retorted. "Are you sure-"

"We'll have the element of surprise."

"Edward should go with you, Jasper," Bella sighed. "If anything goes wrong…"

"You'll be left unprotected in the warehouse," Jasper reminded her.

"I can protect myself," Bella protested. "Nobody's going to be looking for us in some abandoned warehouse. All we need to do is break-in and wait."

"But-"

"It's the only choice we have," she cut across. "You can't take their car to the warehouse in case it's tracked, which only leaves room for them and you three, and you can't risk not having the warehouse under control in advance."

I didn't like the plan, but it was the only logical one.

"That way, Rose and I are out of the action, out of the danger zone." She looked me in the eyes. "Edward, I won't be near them until they're in our hands. It's the only way we can be safe."

I hesitated, looking to Jasper for support. He shrugged.

"Okay," I sighed. "Okay, let's do it."

"Now?" Rose seemed a little surprised at that.

"The sooner, the better," Emmett muttered. "We can't risk them leaving."

"I'll go grab our stuff," Bella said softly. "You can drop Rose and I off before heading to the hotel – chances are they're leaving tonight."

"They will be." I startled at the sound of Peter's voice. "I tracked down their car – it's a black sedan, returned there about half an hour after the estimated time of death of the victims, then left this morning around nine am. Just arrived back now."

"It's a three and a half hour drive at the very least," Jasper reminded us. "Odds of them still being there when we arrive?"

"If we leave within the next hour?" I glanced at the clock on the wall. "Allowing for traffic, we should make it by seven pm."

"They won't leave until dark." Bella stood up slowly. "Gives us enough time to get the warehouse settled and for you to find a good vantage and access point."

"And if the warehouse isn't as empty as we thought?"

Bella shrugged. "That's just a risk we've got to take."


	12. Crimson and Bare

**A/N: Apologies to anyone who didn't like the last chapter – the response was less than half what it usually is, which I hope was more due to the Superbowl than dislike, but I hope this update will make up for any 'lack of action' previously. I know a lot of you have been eagerly awaiting what 's about to unfold, and I hope you won't be disappointed!**

**Sending so much love to everybody who's reviewed, favourited and followed this story, especially those of you who reviewed the last chapter. It's such a boost to see your responses, and I hope you're all continuing to enjoy the journey! I love each and every one of you.  
><strong>

**WARNING: This chapter features graphic violence and torture, and is pretty dark right through to the end. I know at the end you'll think things are much worse again, but I promise the next chapter will remind you that that light is still there, even if it dims for a moment. You'll understand what I mean when you've read it.**

**Enjoy! xx**

* * *

><p><em>Crimson and bare as I stand,<br>yours completely,  
>yours, as we go over….<br>_Cold – Aqualung

We waited for hours.

Once we'd found the sedan, we'd reversed into a free spot two spaces away and tried to scout out the best positions that would hide us but still have a good vantage point.

As Jasper would not be recognized but either of the twins, he was able to hide more in plain sight, on the phone to Peter as he paced back and forth by the car. Peter was watching the live security feeds that gave a clear view of the hotel's entrances and exits, preparing to give Jasper a signal when they eventually emerged. Emmett had hidden round by the trunk of our car, crouched down low and covered by the shadows. I was the most at risk of being recognized, so I was laying underneath their car on my stomach, armed with a knife that would help with the initial take down. We had to be lightning fast – if we weren't, we'd draw attention or lose our shot at getting them.

"No, I don't give a shit!" Jasper cried into the phone. I felt my body tense, eyes flicking to where I knew Emmett was. _Finally. _"Honey, don't be like that…"

I held my breath as footsteps approached, barely able to keep my hand steady as I waited. I heard a faint beep above me and knew they'd unlocked their car.

_Was it definitely them? _I couldn't see Emmett's face.

I heard two heavy things get dumped in the trunk of the car above me.

"Start the car," a low voice said. _Jane's voice._

_Here we go._

The dull thud of boots came round to the driver's side of the car, and I knew it was my responsibility to take him out – Jasper and Emmett would take down Jane.

Three…

Two…

His feet came in line with the door.

I slashed at his heel with the knife.

"Fu-"

As Alec fell against the side of the car, I heard heavy thudding as Jasper and Emmett ran for Jane. Even though I wouldn't be pull myself out from under the car very fast, I could drag Alec down to me, so I reached out and pulled his ankle, bringing him to the ground with a loud smack.

Alec started scrambling away instantly, pushing with his uninjured leg as the other trailed behind him, but I had him now. I grabbed his kicking leg with my other hand, grimacing as the force of his movements dragged my chest against the parking lot floor, forcing me halfway out from the car.

I heard Jane's muffled scream, heard the sound of someone being wrestled into a car… Alec managed to slip his intact ankle from my grip and aimed one harsh kick at my head, but my reflexes weren't fast enough to move me completely out the way in time, and his foot connected with my shoulder instead.

I hissed out a breath as pain rocketed down my arm and across my shoulders, hands slipping away…

"Don't _fuckin'_ move." Jasper. "Roll over."

"Fuck you."

I saw Jasper's foot connect with Alec's knee, heard a crack, then watched as Alec writhed in pain – both his legs were now compromised.

"Shut up." Jasper knelt down and shoved fabric against Alec's mouth and nose, forcing him to breathe in. Alec struggled briefly, but then his body went lax, eyes dropping closed as Jasper shoved the fabric into his mouth and tied it round the back of his head.

"Thanks," I mumbled as I tried to drag myself out from under the car with one arm. I grunted in pain as my shoulder jostled with each movement, but with Jasper's help I was able to eventually get out and force myself onto shaky legs.

"I'll take his feet," I sighed.

"Ed-"

"You can't lift dead weight," I pointed out.

Jasper nodded after a moment's consideration, then moved to slide his arms under Alec's shoulders. I reached to grab hold of Alec's foot with one hand, pinning it under my arm so I could get the other before lifting. My shoulder was on fire, but by some miracle it held out until we were at the trunk of the car.

I let Alec's legs drop to the ground and reached out to open the trunk.

"Help me bind him," Jasper said quietly, bodily shoving Alec headfirst into the car. It took some maneuvering, but eventually we managed to get Alec's arms tied, and the two of us forced the rest of his body into the trunk right after, legs more pliant now they were unusable.

I slammed the lid of the trunk down and quickly moved round to the passenger seat as Jasper got in on the driver's side.

"You okay?" Emmett asked as I tried to do up my seatbelt.

I looked up at the rearview mirror. Emmett had four red lines streaked down his face, his shirt was torn… but as I looked at Jane's unconscious body, I knew who had come out worse.

I swallowed hard. "He got my shoulder."

"Fuck," Emmett sighed.

"Peter says we're clear," Jasper told us as he started the car.

"You sure he's secure in the trunk?" Emmett asked.

"He can't move his legs, and his arms are tied," I assured him, then winced as Jasper turned out the parking lot a little too fast. "He's not going anywhere."

"As long as the girls got the warehouse locked down, we're good," Jasper added.

"They will," I assured him. "Bella won't let us down."

I was right.

As we pulled up round the back of the warehouse fifteen minutes later, Rosalie emerged from the back door, arms hugging her chest nervously. I got out the car first and met her halfway, leaving Jasper and Emmett to work out how to get the twins inside.

"Any problems?" I asked. Rose shook her head.

"Simple break-in, like we hoped," she replied. "There's two rooms, so we can keep them apart if we have to."

"Good."

"How did it…" She gestured to where Jasper and Emmett were hauling Jane out the backseat.

"Alright," I assured her. "Alec's incapacitated, and Jane's out for the count for now."

Rose exhaled a deep breath. "Thank God."

"Where's Bella?" I wondered.

Rose's eyes met mine. "Back room."

I moved to go in, but her hand on my arm stopped me.

"Edward, she's not talking."

I closed my eyes. Swallowed hard. Nodded.

_Just as I feared._

"Okay," I uttered hoarsely. "Stay here and help them with the twins. I'll go check on her."

Without waiting for a reply, I quickly made my way into the warehouse, eyes struggling to adjust to the dim lighting at first.

"Bella?" I called. "It's me."

When she didn't appear, I increased my pace, hurrying towards the door at the back of the room, where Rose had told me she was.

"Baby?" I pushed open the door and paused.

Bella was standing at a broken window at the other side of the room, arms wrapped around her stomach as she stared out into the dark. She didn't even seem to be breathing.

I let out a trembling breath, chest tightening as Bella's shoulders shook slightly. Her hands clenched at her waist, arms still protecting her stomach, and her whole body tensed even further at the sound of my footsteps as I slowly approached her.

"We got them," I told her softly.

Bella's head tilted downwards.

"Bella…" I moved in behind her, hands reaching out to gently cover hers. She flinched at my touch but didn't pull away. "_We got them._"

"W… Where?" she ground out, voice strained.

_Oh, baby…_

"We're taking them into the main room," I replied. "Unless…"

"B-bring… Al-Ale-ec… here," she forced herself to say.

I hesitated.

"P-please."

"Okay," I breathed, leaning close enough to kiss her shoulder. "Want to come with me?"

She shook her head.

"Bella…"

"Jus-st… do it."

_Come on, Bella… stay strong._

"Fine," I sighed. I wanted to offer her comfort, but I knew nothing I could do would help her. Her demons were right here with her.

I walked out into the main room again and watched Jasper tie Jane to a chair, taping her legs and torso securely in place. Emmett soon came into view, too, carrying Alec's limp body over one shoulder.

"Bella wants him in there," I called out. Jasper's head shot up in shock.

"Is she serious?" Emmett's eyebrows were raised.

"She wants to be in there with him," I told him. "Leave Jane out here… I'll stay in the other room with Bella and Alec."

"I think he'll wake up before this one," Jasper replied, tilting his head in Jane's direction, "so that may be best. We'll get her ready, and if you need us…"

I nodded in understanding.

"What are you going to do to Jane?" Rosalie asked quietly.

"She's not as badly injured as the guy," Jasper replied." So she's going to take more work. Emmett, is that power pack still in the trunk?"

"Oh, yeah." Emmett crossed the room quickly, barely struggling under Alec's weight.

"Then we'll shock her."

"After you beat her," Rose assumed, eyes searching Emmett's for something I didn't understand. Once she found it, she closed her eyes. "I'll go with Edward."

"Rosie…"

"I don't want to see you like that," she said quietly, moving towards me. "I agree with it, but I can't watch you do that."

Emmett nodded in understanding, then walked past us into the room Bella was still in. Rose hesitated a moment before following.

"I got this," Jasper assured me. "She needs you."

"The moment _anything_ seems suspicious…"

"They're not being tracked, I already checked."

"Even so…"

Jasper nodded. "I know."

I tipped my head in his direction, then turned back to the door.

"Edward?" Jasper called. "Good luck."

"You, too."

When I walked back through to join the others, Emmett had already dumped Alec on the ground and Bella was crouched over him, slicing through the binds that held his arms in front of his body. She moved methodically, pinning his arms down to his sides before securing them with tape much like Jasper had done to Jane. She shifted down to his legs, binding them together at the thighs in the same way she had his arms, then took the gag out of his mouth.

"Emmett, bring me my bag."

Her voice was cold, steady… It scared me.

Once Emmett had passed her what she wanted, she took out a towel and a few bottles of water and set them a few feet from Alec's head, then reached for a makeshift blindfold, which she quickly slipped over his eyes.

"You can go now," she told Emmett, not looking at him.

Emmett shot me a worried glance, but did as Bella had asked anyway, giving Rosalie a brief kiss on his way out the room.

"Rosalie, you might want to-"

"I'm not leaving," Rose cut across, taking a step forward. Bella looked up at her, then nodded. She still didn't look at me.

"It might take him a while to wake up." Bella got to her feet and moved unsteadily to lean against the nearest wall, arms folded across her chest. "When he does, do _not_ speak to him. Don't move. Don't make a sound. Okay?"

"What will you do?" Rose wondered. _Good question._

Bella huffed a bitter laugh. "Nothing he hasn't done to me."

I looked down at the towel and the bottles of water. _Of course._

"What can I help with?" I asked quietly. Bella's eyes flickered to mine, just long enough for her vulnerability to pierce through her barriers before she shut down again.

"You can help hold the towel over his face," she replied off-handedly, then leaned her head back against the wall and closed her eyes.

Rosalie looked worried, but I had no idea what to say to soothe her, so stood there in silence as we waited for Alec to wake up. Rose stared down at the ground, fingers playing nervously with her sleeves. She was uncomfortable – she hadn't seen this sort of thing before. I didn't want her to either.

"Nnngmm."

Bella's head snapped up as Alec's leg twitched.

"Unnnng…" Alec's head shook as awareness took hold, and his back arched violently as he started to strain against his binds.

After several moments of struggle, he finally settled back on the floor, acting like nothing was wrong. His harsh panting gave him away, though.

"Very good." He forced out a breathless laugh. "Did _not_ see this coming."

At the sound of his voice, Bella's jaw clenched.

"Are you there, Isabella?" Alec moved his head, like he was listening for something. Bella took a deliberate step forwards.

"Of course you are. Wouldn't want to miss the show now, would you?"

Another step.

"Such drama," Alec taunted. "Or is that you, Edward? You always did have a flair for the dramatic."

Step.

"No… It's got to be you, Isabella," Alec deduced. "You're the more _silent_ type, aren't you?"

Bella's hands fisted at her sides as she took one last step, close enough to touch him now.

"How's the leg? Burning?"

Bella stamped on his abdomen, and he groaned loudly, body buckling under the pressure.

"Perfect, thank you," Bella said coldly.

"Ha!" Alec laughed, only to grimace as pain spread through his ribs. Rosalie looked away. "I knew it was you. Did you get our message?"

Bella nudged his shattered kneecap with her foot. "What do you think?"

Alec hummed in satisfaction. _This wasn't going to work._

"I'm impressed," Alec sighed. Bella glanced up at me, gestured for me to kneel down on the other side of his face. She handed me the edge of the towel. "I see you brought friends along to help."

"Oh, Alec," Bella taunted, forcing the towel down tightly over his face as she uncapped a bottle of water. "I always do."

She tipped some of the water over his face, right where his mouth and nose were. Alec's head twitched, but his body remained still until Bella tipped some more out… He began to struggle, hands desperately reaching for something as he tried gasping for air.

"It's nice, isn't it?" Bella teased. "Drowning."

Bella pulled the towel off far enough for him to talk.

"Nothing I'm not used to," Alec retorted. Bella smiled, a bitter, empty smile, then forced the towel over his face even tauter.

This time, she emptied the rest of the first bottle in one, watching emotionlessly as Alec struggled more against his bonds.

He gasped for air as the towel loosened, painful coughs wracking through his body.

"It's unfortunate I don't have more time," Bella sighed. "I do _love_ to play."

"I remember," Alec choked, turning his face in the direction of her voice and spitting.

"Where's Aro?"

"Fuck you," Alec sniped.

The second bottle of water emptied.

The third.

"I d-do-don't…" Alec choked again, chest heaving. "K-know-w!"

"Of course you don't." Bella gestured for me to hand her the next bottle.

I hesitated.

She shot me a dark look, then turned sharply at the sound of voices from the other room.

"Oh, look," she hummed. "Your sister's awake."

She took the fourth bottle herself, and I reluctantly helped her hold the towel over Alec's face again.

"And that means you just became expendable to me," she told him softly, leaning close to his ear. "So this is your last chance."

Bella knelt on her side of the towel to hold it down and pressed her freed arm against his throat. In the same moment, she poured the water over his mouth.

Alec's back arched violently, legs weakly kicking out and his hands writhing as he struggled to survive. His foot dragged limply across the ground, blood still seeping from the severed tendon. The sight of it made my stomach churn.

"Crafty little trick, isn't it?" Bella uncapped the final bottle of water with one hand, arm not letting up even though the water had. I saw Alec's chest heave. "I suppose I have you to thank for that."

"Bella," I breathed. She pressed harder against his throat, turning his skin red as she drowned him once again. "_Bella."_

She tilted the almost empty bottle upright again, but didn't look at me. She threw the saturated towel to the ground away from us.

"Anything to say?"

Alec gasped for several moments, face a worrying color.

"Guessed as much." With a heavy sigh, Bella straightened up and walked to Alec's feet.

"What-"

"Edward, shut up," she snapped. The look in her eyes terrified me.

_Bella, where are you?_

She reached down and grabbed Alec's ankles, began dragging him towards the door. I rushed to my feet, arms outstretched.

"Rose, take a look at Edward's shoulder for me," Bella called, but didn't look back, slowly pulling Alec's still shaking body into the other room.

Rosalie whimpered softly.

"Hey," I murmured, reaching for her arm. She pulled it from my grasp and shook her head. "Stay here, okay? We'll come and get you when it's over."

"Edward…" Rosalie sucked in a shaking breath. "What's wrong with her?"

"Imagine it was Royce lying there," I suggested. "Wouldn't you do the same?"

_I know I would._

When she didn't reply, I turned and walked out the room. I couldn't wait for her; Bella needed me, even if she didn't realize it yet.

"Reunited at last!" I heard Jane cat-call as I approached.

Bella had dragged Alec into the middle of the room, right in Jane's eye line. Emmett stood to Jane's left, knuckles reddened. The bitch's face told me exactly how that had happened – her eye was already swelling, her lip was split…

"Oh, Edward, you haven't changed _one bit_," she taunted, smile wide enough for me to see her blood-smeared teeth. "Have you seen what I did to Bella's back yet? It's a _masterpiece_."

"Where are they?" Bella demanded coolly.

"Who?" Jane tried to be coy, then seized up as Jasper switched on the power pack, sending pure electricity through the cables connected to her body.

She was panting when the power was switched off, but her expression was even more hard when she met Bella's gaze. "Tell your lapdog it's going to take a lot more than a few sparks to break _me_. I'm not as easy as you."

"Maybe." Bella smirked. "But everybody has a weak spot."

Jane scoffed. "Like unborn children?"

Bella's gaze turned even icier, matching Jane's.

"And twin brothers," Bella reminded her. "So where are they?"

"Do whatever you want," Jane cajoled. "Try your best. I'm _never_ going to tell you."

"Even if it spares his life?" Bella wondered, pulling a switchblade from her pocket and pointing it in Alec's direction.

Jane's face tightened, but she remained defiant. "You forget that killing us will end the question and answer portion of the show. You _need_ us, remember?"

"Actually, no," Bella sighed, then crouched beside Alec, pulling hard on his hair to force his head up. He struggled slightly but, weakened by his injuries and the temporary suffocation, wasn't able to free himself. "We only need one of you. So what's it going to be?"

Jane sneered.

Bella pressed the blade to Alec's neck, drawing blood. "Last chance, Jane."

"You wouldn-"

Silver slashed across Alec's throat.

"I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!" Jane screeched, writhing in her chair as Bella dropped Alec back to the ground.

I stared wide-eyed at the growing pool of red as the blood drained from his body, leaking from the barely pulsing wound.

"No, you're not," Bella countered as she stood upright, red sprayed across her face and clothes, matting her hair like paint. "You're the one in the chair this time, Jane, not me."

"They'll find you!" Jane spat as Bella approached the chair, trailing bloody footprints behind her. "They're already on their way!"

Jasper tensed along with Emmett, and my heart-rate spiked. _Was she telling the truth?_

Bella smirked, as she stepped in close, leaning down so her eyes were level with Jane's. "You're a terrible liar, Jane."

"Am I?" Jane retorted. "What makes you think we didn't see you coming all along?"

A tense pause.

"Wow…" Bella laughed, the sound unnatural. Jane's confidence waned, uncertainty flickering in her eyes as she looked at her brother's body.

"They wiped you off the grid, didn't they?"

Jane acted unfazed by the revelation, but I saw the cracks in her façade.

Bella's eyes darkened. _"Nobody's_ coming for you_."_

I wondered how many times those words had been aimed at her while she was held captive. _Had she believed them?_

Jane clenched her jaw.

"How ironic…" Bella smiled slowly as she pressed the bloodied switchblade under Jane's chin, keeping her head up. "You are _completely_ alone now. I guess Aro didn't trust you after we captured you, did he? It's why you had to try and draw us out with the murders. You knew we'd come and find you."

"You have no idea what you're talking about."

I frowned. Jane's voice was no longer steady.

"We both know I do," Bella replied. "You're just stalling, trying to work out how you're going to escape… But the truth is, Jane…"

Bella leaned in dangerously close, lips right by Jane's ear, blade-tip pressing harder against her throat.

"You're going to die, just like your brother."

Jane spat at her face.

Bella inhaled sharply, expression contorting into one of rage as she grabbed Jane's hair, forcing her head back sharply and pressing the edge of the switchblade against the side of her neck. I stepped forward on reflex.

_Don't…_

"Do it," Jane hissed.

"And end your misery?" Bella cried incredulously. "No. You don't deserve the relief."

"Then string me up!" Jane ordered. "Go on, I know you want to. _Burn me_, carve me up… Put as many scars as you want on my back… Make me _pay_ for what I did. Give me what I deserve."

Bella let out a disbelieving breath, and I saw her strength waver.

"You can't, can you?" Jane laughed. "You don't have it in you."

"_Where are they?_" Bella demanded, voice dangerously low.

"You won't find them – they're always going to be one step ahead." Jane bared her teeth as she smiled, like a shark.

"You _can't_ tell us anything, can you?" Bella eyes searched Jane's, then. "You have no idea where they are either."

Jane looked away.

Seemingly satisfied, Bella let Jane's head drop, then looked up at us, eyes blank. "We've wasted our time."

With a heavy sigh, Bella began to walk away, but a loud cackle made her pause.

"I should have killed you when I had the chance!" Jane spat. "Would have saved me the hassle of listening to you whine!"

Bella's fist clenched. _Jane was pushing her past her limit. Testing her._

"You can try and hide it all you like, but we both know the truth!"

Bella's head lowered. Her shoulders shook.

"You're broken, Bella!" Jane continued. "And every time you feel those pretty little scars I put on your back, I want you to remember how it felt when you screamed for me!"

"I'm going to kill you," I snarled, lunging forward.

Jane laughed coldly, the sound choking off as I grabbed her roughly round the throat. "Do your worst."

I felt myself shaking with rage, but when she looked into my eyes I saw the manic desperation in them. _This was her plan all along._

With one final squeeze, I forced myself to step back.

"It won't matter anyway, once James gets his hands on her," Jane baited, coughing slightly. "He'll cut that baby right out of her body and make you wa-"

Jasper switched on the electricity.

As Jane's cries filled the air, I looked back up to Bella, whose body had frozen during the exchange.

"See if she knows anything about Montana that might help us track the others," she said softly after a moment. "If she doesn't talk…"

Bella handed Emmett the switchblade, unable to meet his eyes.

Without another word, she headed for the exit, flinching as Jane's cries of pain turned into mocking laughter.

"You'll never win!" Jane shrieked. "No matter what you do or where you go, they will _always_ find you!"

Bella broke into an unsteady run.

"Fight all you want - you've already lost!"

I turned to Emmett and Jasper, who barely seemed to be holding back. "Finish this."

I took one last look at Jane's smug face, then sprinted after Bella, ignoring the sounds of flesh meeting flesh as Emmett and Jasper closed in on Jane.

As I burst through the door, I inhaled sharply at the cold wind that whipped across my face, then forced myself to focus. My eyes immediately sought out Bella, and when they found her, my heart clenched painfully.

She was doubled over, hand clutching the wall for support as sobs wracked her body. Her legs soon buckled beneath her, sending her to her knees on the ground as her cries grew louder, free hand covering her stomach. Her entire body was shaking, fingers scrabbling against the wall as she fell apart.

She'd been a ticking time bomb for hours, and now it was time for the explosion.

"Bella," I called softly, warning her I was coming closer.

Bella dry heaved, then let her hands drop to the ground to brace herself as she gagged and coughed.

Alec's blood was beginning to dry on her shirt, staining it dark red, and her hands, face and hair were also splattered with it… the moment Bella opened her eyes and saw the red on her skin, her dry heaves turned to retching as her stomach emptied onto the ground.

I rushed forwards and crouched down a foot away from her, reaching out a hand to touch her back. She jerked violently, falling backwards as she turned to me with utter terror in her eyes. I felt my heart break.

"Easy," I murmured. It felt like trying to soothe a wild animal, but I knew what sort of headspace she was probably in, understood her reaction.

I reached out again, slower this time, and when my hand made contact with her arm, she whimpered, eyes clamping shut.

"I've got you," I whispered. Bella let out a low moan, face etched with agony.

She shook her head from side to side slowly, pale faced and utterly _broken._

She may have battled her demons and defeated them physically, but mentally she'd lost the war. And I understood why.

"Bella, baby?" I breathed.

A soft whine of pain. More tears spilled from under her lashes. Then, ever so slowly, she started to lean in to me.

"I've got you," I repeated. The moment her forehead touched my shoulder, I slipped my arms round her and held her tight, eyes burning as she wrapped one arm across her stomach, the other clinging on to me for dear life.

She openly sobbed, slick fingers leaving stains on my shirt, but I just held her even closer, knowing she needed this. I'd expected it the moment she'd said she wanted Alec in the room with her.

Vengeance… revenge… retribution… Whatever her actions had been driven by, it had opened a door into her suffering while they had held her captive. Hurting Alec, suffocating him… it made her relive her own pain as she vented her anger and anguish. She knew what he was feeling because she had felt it herself, and when she had killed him…

The release hadn't lasted, the relief that he was dead gone almost as soon as it came…but it had been enough to help her hold it together while she confronted Jane, gave her just enough strength to look her in the eyes, to _speak_…

But Jane knew all the right buttons to push to break her. She _wanted_ Bella to kill her, because she knew that the moment Bella crossed that line, she would never be able to come back.

Bloodlust was a powerful weapon when wielded properly.

But Bella had pulled back, distanced herself from the physical manifestation of her fear and pain, saved herself from falling over the edge she had been so precariously balanced on after she killed Alec. It had taken more strength to walk away than to simply end it all, but now that strength was gone.

"It's over."

I turned my head in Jasper's direction, took in the tired look in his eyes.

"Did she say anything?"

"Enough." Jasper looked down at Bella, worry written all over his face. "She's dead now."

I let out a shaky breath, felt Bella curl up against me even tighter. "_Thank you."_

Jasper nodded. "Get Bella in the car. We'll finish up then call it in. _The Agency_ should pick things up from Seattle PD once they hear who it is, but just in case…"

"Plan B?" I murmured, meeting his gaze.

Jasper shrugged. "I think it's time."

"Alright," I sighed, pressing a kiss to Bella's head.

Jasper shot her one last concerned look, then headed back inside, leaving Bella and I alone again.

"Come on, love," I said softly. "Let's get you in the car."

Bella nodded numbly, barely responsive as I helped her to her feet.

Once she was steady, I slowly guided her across the car park, stroking my fingers across her arm as we walked. Bella leaned heavily against my side but was otherwise silent until we reached the car.

As I opened the door for her, she turned to look at the warehouse with wide eyes, suddenly unsure.

"They're dead," I told her. Her tear-filled gaze flicked to mine. "Jane and Alec are dead."

Bella blinked, more tears spilling down her cheeks.

"The others will join us in a sec, so let's just sit down for a minute, okay?" I coaxed, smiling reassuringly. Bella looked at me for a moment, then nodded, slowly climbing into the car and shifting into the middle seat.

I got in beside her and closed the door, and as I lifted my arm for her to move under, I couldn't stop myself from grunting in pain.

_Fucking Alec._

Bella's eyes widened.

"It's nothing serious," I assured her. "Just a lucky kick."

Bella shook her head sadly, fingers tentatively reaching out to touch my shoulder.

"See?" I didn't flinch when her fingers made contact, made a point of moving my arm round her so she could see it was still movable, even if it hurt like a bitch.

_We could worry about that later._

Bella just sighed and leaned into my embrace, closing her eyes as her head rested on my chest.

I sat there with her for what felt like hours until the others came back, but when they did, the silence that had fallen over me and Bella seemed to have extended to them too. Rosalie climbed into the passenger seat as Emmett took the driver's side and Jasper climbed into the back with me and Bella, having thrown our belongings in the trunk beforehand. Nobody said a word.

The three and a half hour journey back was just as quiet, not even the radio filling the space, but I caught Emmett shooting worried looks at Rosalie, who stared steadfastly out the window. His knuckles flexed against the steering wheel, still bloodied from Jane.

Jasper had messaged someone on his phone a couple of times throughout the journey, though what was said and to whom, I didn't know.

When we arrived back at the house, we all remained in the car for a moment, nobody wanting to break the silence.

"I'll still take watch," I eventually said.

"What about…" Jasper looked down at Bella, who was just staring at my leg like she had the rest of the journey.

"We'll be okay," I assured him. "Just let me get us cleaned up first?"

Rosalie opened the door and got out the car. Emmett sighed heavily.

"Sure," he replied.

Once we were inside, Emmett muttered something about making coffee for everyone, but I didn't want to wait any longer. It look a little coaxing, but I managed to get Bella to the bathroom without too many problems and left her to stand there for a moment with the water running while I grabbed her a fresh pair of pajamas.

"Let's get you in the shower, okay?" I murmured. Bella didn't respond, just stared at her hands.

"Hey," I urged gently, covering her hands with mine. "I've got you."

Bella let her hands drop and moved closer, giving me access to her shirt. I unbuttoned it quickly for her, pushing it off her shoulders before undoing her bra. As I removed the rest of our clothes, I kicked them into a pile in the corner so she couldn't see the blood, but only the shower would be able to wash away the stains on her skin.

I eased us into the shower and drew the curtain, turning Bella's back to the spray to protect her from the initial shock. She shivered as the water ran over her skin and closed her eyes.

Although the water was already running pink, I knew her hair and face would need more to get rid of the blood, so picked up a washcloth and began to slowly wipe the red from her skin. It reminded me of how she was the first night after her rescue; silent and unresponsive as I washed her clean again.

Once her body was okay, I carefully reached up and cupped her cheeks in my hands. Bella leaned into the touch and let me tilt her head back to dampen her hair. I shampooed and conditioned her hair in much the same way, but as I was rinsing the last of the sweet-smelling conditioner away, her hands reached out to grab my hips.

Unsure of what she wanted, I guided her head back up and let my thumbs trace her cheekbones. Her brow creased and her lips trembled.

"I love you," I whispered, then leaned in to kiss her softly. Her lips quivered and her hands tightened on my hips, but it was like all her energy had been drained, leaving her empty.

Drying and clothing her took less time than I thought, but just as I was debating about what to do with her hair, there was a quiet knock on the door.

"Come in."

Rosalie stepped into the room, then wordlessly reached for the hairbrush by the sink and delicately began brushing Bella's hair. She used a towel to soak up the excess moisture, then quickly swept Bella's hair into some sort of braid, securing it with a band from her wrist.

"Thank you."

Rosalie nodded and smiled sadly, then turned and left the room again, not able to meet Bella's eyes.

I sighed heavily.

"Do you want to sleep on the sofa while I keep watch?" I asked Bella quietly, even though I knew she wouldn't answer. "Or would you rather be up here?"

Instead of replying, Bella took hold of my fingers and exhaled a shaky breath.

_Downstairs it was._

I didn't hear Bella's voice again until hours later, once everybody had gone to bed… but as her screams echoed throughout the house, I found myself wishing for the silence to return.


	13. Clarity

**A/N: Apologies for the slight delay! I struggled a little with this chapter at the start because I wanted to keep the high pace, but once I realized forcing the pace to continue was never going to work, everything flowed much easier. It may feel a little bit of a 'filler', but I assure you it's just as important as the previous chapter.**

**Thank you to all of you who reviewed the last chapter – I was nervous upon posting it and was so happy to read your responses. Every one of them was appreciated and treasured. You're all amazing.**

**I hope the next chapter won't take too long to get out, but I've got a lot of overtime at work coming up so we shall see!**

**Enjoy! xx**

* * *

><p><em>High dive into frozen waves where the past comes back to life,<em>

_Fight fear for the selfish pain - it was worth it every time…  
><em>Clarity – Zedd

'Plan B' was easier to enact than we'd first hoped. It only took us a day to prepare everything, but despite Bella's apathy at being told we were leaving, when we loaded everything we needed into the trunk of our car, I noticed she had disappeared. I found her in her parents' old bedroom, emptied of Rosalie and Emmett's things, running her fingers over a framed photo of her mother and father.

She didn't even look up at me when I approached, but when I took the frame from her hands and told her we could take it with us, she leaned in to my side and closed her eyes. A silent thank you.

Her apathy continued even as we began the long journey down to our destination, gaze fixed on the window but not really _seeing_. Emmett offered to take the first driving shift and we managed to make good time leaving Washington, crossing the state line just after dark. I held Bella's hand for the entirety of the first six hour shift, declining the others' offer to stretch my legs at a gas station while they grabbed some food and prepared to switch drivers.

When Jasper took the driver's seat, Emmett switched to the passenger side without needing to be asked, leaving Rosalie to sit in the back with us. She tried to make small talk at first over 'dinner', making sure to include Bella, but she grew quiet after a few minutes, opting instead to ask Emmett to put the radio on.

I didn't know what station had been set, but the songs managed to ease the tension slightly, even if Bella's state remained unchanged. I tried to encourage Bella to share the bag of chips Emmett had bought us, but she just closed her eyes, lip quivering slightly.

Once we had passed through Oregon and were halfway across Idaho, I offered to swap places with Jasper.

"It's oka-"

"You're both tired," I cut across, gesturing to Emmett, who had fallen asleep in the passenger seat. "Let me at least get us past Utah."

"Edward, honestly, it's-"

"This is a twenty-five hour journey without breaks," I pointed out. "If you keep going, we'll have to stop at a motel so you and Emmett can get some proper sleep before the car crashes. Let me take the next shift, and if it gets too much, I'll pull over and rest for a while."

"What about…" Japer trailed off, but I caught his meaning.

"Bella can take the passenger seat," I replied, glancing down at Bella. Her eyes were closed, but I knew she wasn't asleep – her body was too tensed for her to be anything but wide awake.

"Alright, we'll switch in half an hour."

And we did.

Crossing into Utah was draining - after the first hour, my shoulder started playing up, but I didn't let it slow us down. Bella was curled up next to me in the passenger seat, fingers absently stroking her stomach as Emmett's light snores filled the silence. Even Jasper had fallen asleep, despite his protests that he wasn't tired.

"Baby?" I murmured softly. Bella's eyes fluttered open, but she didn't look at me. "Please eat something."

She bit her bottom lip.

"I packed your vitamins in your bag," I continued, hoping maybe thoughts of the baby would spur her into moving. "They're in the front pocket, and I think there's some juice from the store in the bag by your feet."

Bella sighed.

"Please," I begged.

She reached down and pulled the bags into her lap, fishing out her vitamins and the apple juice before hesitating.

"The food's yours too," I told her.

She unwrapped a sub, face twisting as she looked at what was inside it.

"I thought you liked…" I trailed off as Bella reluctantly took a bite out the sub, chewing almost mechanically.

It reminded me of how she was those first few days after she woke up, lacking an appetite, reluctant to eat or drink anything, then feeling sick when she did. But I had to give her time to process – if I pushed her too fast, she would retreat further, and that was something we couldn't afford. Instead, all I needed to do what remind her I was here, that I wasn't going anywhere… and even if I failed, the back-up plan wouldn't.

"I'll wake Jasper up once we get to St. George," I said absently, more talking to myself than her. "He can take us the rest of the way."

I glanced across to Bella, who was frowning.

"Would you rather stop at a motel instead?" I wondered. Again, I didn't expect her to reply, but hoped her body might give me an indication either way. "I know your leg probably feels stiff."

"_Arizona,"_ Bella mouthed slowly, realization finally sinking in.

My mouth dropped open slightly in surprise, but I quickly recovered.

"Yeah," I confirmed. "We're going to Arizona."

Bella closed her eyes, chin dropping to her chest. I reached out and took her hand, twining my fingers with hers.

"Unless…" I hesitated. "Unless you'd rather we didn't?"

Bella shook her head and squeezed my hand tightly.

"I'll keep going then," I assured her. "But you'd better eat up – you'll need your energy for when we get there."

She nodded, pulling her hand from mine so she could uncap the apple juice before drinking some of it. She took her prenatal vitamins quickly, then had some more of her sub, though I could tell it was tough for her to eat more than a few bites.

I turned my attention back to the road, not wanting to make her feel pressured by watching her.

As we approached St. George several hours later, I could feel my eyes starting to burn from lack of sleep, and knew it was time to stop. Bella had lightly dozed after she'd eaten, but the moment I turned off Interstate 15, her eyes fluttered open again and she looked at me warily.

"Time to swap," I murmured, thanking the Gods as a gas station came into view. I pulled up to one of the pumps and stopped the car, taking a moment to breathe.

"Anyone need a quick break?" I asked, loudly enough to wake the others without startling them too much.

Emmett grumbled under his breath as he awoke and nodded sleepily, nudging Rosalie awake before exiting the car with her right behind him. Jasper stretched his arms above his head, taking only seconds to become alert again.

"Where are we?" he wondered.

"St. George," I replied. "I would have continued, but-"

"No, that's more than far enough," Jasper cut across. "Is your shoulder okay?"

I rolled my shoulder back slowly and grimaced.

"It'll be fine," I hoped. "May be worth going to a clinic though."

"Peter's wife, Charlotte, was a nurse – I can ask him if he can bring her when we meet up?" Jasper offered.

"That would be safer."

Jasper nodded, then sighed softly, shooting another worried glance at Bella before he, too, got out the car.

"Want to stretch your leg a little?" I murmured once Jasper closed the door behind him.

Bella shrugged.

I took the keys from the ignition and got out the car, then quickly walked round to Bella's side and opened the door for her. She hesitated briefly, then held her hands out for me to take, gingerly stepping out of the car on shaky legs.

I held her close to me to support her, carefully moving her out the way of the door so I could shut it. Jasper held his hand out for the keys, then started to fill up the gas tank, moving just far enough away that he wouldn't be intruding on anything. Emmett and Rosalie were standing a few feet away from the car, talking in hushed voices, and I quickly realized they, too, were trying to give us some privacy.

"Only six or so more hours to go," I said softly as Bella burrowed against my chest, arms sliding under my jacket so she could get ever closer. I ran my hand up and down her back, then let my cheek come to rest against the top of her head and closed my eyes.

"I love you, Bella," I murmured.

She lifted her head to look into my eyes, like she was searching for a lie. When she didn't find one, she trembled against me, gaze turning watery as her hands curled into my t-shirt.

"I know you can't talk about it right now," I whispered, pressing my forehead against hers, "but I want you to know I understand."

Tears rolled down her cheeks, but I quickly wiped them away with my thumbs, cupping her face in my hands.

"I _love _you," I repeated, more slowly this time so she would listen, not just hear. "That will never change."

I pressed my lips to hers, expecting nothing more than a chaste kiss, but Bella tilted her head slightly, lips moving with mine as she pulled me closer. After several long moments, she moved back a little, leaning her forehead against mine again.

"I-…" Bella started, but I felt her frown as the words got caught in her throat.

Instead of letting her worry, I pulled her in for one last kiss, lips lingering against hers before moving up to her forehead, where they stayed until Rosalie and Emmett approached the car again.

"We okay to go?" Emmett asked. "Or do you two need a sec?"

"We're fine," I replied, smiling reassuringly. Bella's hands dropped from my waist and she toyed with the edge of her sleeve while I moved to the back passenger door, taking care not to bump her with it as it swung open.

"Ready?" I murmured, reaching for Bella's hand. She wrapped her fingers round mine and carefully shifted round the door, wincing slightly as she put her weight on her bad leg.

Instead of sitting by the window as I expected, Bella moved in front of me and climbed in first, shuffling to the middle seat and leaving me to climb in last. I did so without hesitation, closing the door behind me before buckling my seatbelt and helping Bella do the same.

The moment I was comfortable, she leaned in closer, one hand resting on my thigh while the other curled round my upper arm. She let her head drop to my shoulder, then breathed out a soft sigh before closing her eyes. I smiled, grateful for the brief glimpse of normalcy, then closed my eyes as well, only vaguely aware of the others getting into the car before we began moving again.

At some point, I must have fallen asleep because, what felt like only moments later, there was a loud buzzing, and when I opened my eyes, Jasper was driving us through a garage door.

"Where are we?" I asked blinking to try and wake myself up. Bella shifted against me, then slowly sat up at the sound of Jasper's reply.

"Home."

* * *

><p>It turned out that 'home', more specifically, was an average-looking house just outside Phoenix. Looks were deceptive, however, because past the plain exterior was one of the best security systems I had ever seen outside the compound. The layout was pretty simple, but as Jasper gave us a brief tour, it quickly became clear that they'd armed themselves to the teeth – knives, guns, traps… they were strategically hidden around the house, and once Jasper assured us that all the windows were bulletproof, I found myself relaxing.<p>

_We would be safe, here._

Bella held my hand as we walked through the house, squeezing tightly whenever she saw a photograph of Jake on the wall or a coffee table. The only time she let go was when we reached the top of the staircase on the way to the spare rooms, and she caught a glimpse through one of the doors on the other side of the hallway.

"Is that…" I trailed off as Bella reached out to touch the door, eyes fixed on the toys that littered the carpet inside.

"Jake's room," Jasper confirmed. "Alice is just getting him from school, so they'll be here soon."

I nodded, feeling my chest tighten with emotion at the hopeful expression on Bella's face. But, just as soon as it had arrived, it was gone again, morphing into worry and unease.

"Hey," I breathed, stepping up behind her and placing my hands on her waist. Bella shuddered, then turned to face me, arms wrapping around my body so tightly it was almost painful.

I held her close, expecting nothing more than her to need a hug, but instead she surprised me.

"_I-… Wh-…_" she tried, barely audible even though her lips were right by my ear. "_Forg…"_

"Oh, baby," I murmured, kissing her cheek. "He hasn't forgotten you."

Bella let out a relieved breath, then pulled her head back so she could meet my gaze. She smiled weakly, and I could see how hard she was trying to fight.

"I'm proud of you," I told her softly. Bella shook her head and tried to look down, but I coaxed her head back up and pressed my lips to hers, showing her it was true.

"Let's get our room set up, then we can go and wait for Jake, okay?" I suggested, aware that the others had kept walking to give us some privacy.

Bella took my hand again and nodded, a little more confident than before.

We didn't have to walk far to our room; it was just down the hall from Jake's – a deliberate choice on Jasper's part, I was sure. Rosalie and Emmett were in the room opposite us, and there was a bathroom at the end of the hallway, which turned out to be the only one upstairs.

"I know it's a pain, but we mainly built this with family in mind," Jasper apologized. "Alice and I have an en suite, so at least there's that."

"It's perfect, Jasper," I replied. "Thank you."

He smiled. "If you guys want to get settled, I'll get some coffee on. Alice should be back any minute."

"Thanks," Emmett said, shooting us a grin before opening their door and guiding Rosalie in first with a gentle hand on her back.

Bella and I didn't have a whole lot with us, just the essentials and a few sentimental items from the house, so it only took us about five minutes to unpack. The room was a similar size to our old one in Forks, but the bed was a little bigger and we had a proper wardrobe as well as a vanity, making everything seem more homely.

It almost reminded me of our suite in the compound, but I quickly pushed that thought aside and focused on Bella, who was placing her photos from home on the vanity, in clear view of the rest of the room. There was a picture of her parents together on the left with Jasper's photo of Jake to the right of it, but the middle photo was what meant the most. Our scan of Elizabeth.

"We need one of us," I mused quietly, stepping close behind her.

Bella leaned back against me, fingers tracing her stomach through her dress.

I wondered what she was thinking.

Before I got the chance to ask, loud frantic footsteps echoed from down the hall, and just as I spun round to face the door, it swung open and a small hurricane rushed into the room.

"Mommy?!"

"_Jacob!_" Bella gasped, shock overcoming her fear. She crouched down slightly and Jake rushed into her arms, laughing happily as Bella lifted him up despite her bump getting in the way.

"I missed you, Mommy!" Jake cried, clinging to her like a monkey.

Bella let out a quiet whimper, and closed her eyes as tears spilled down her cheeks, but I could tell she was beyond happy.

"Don't go away again, 'kay?" Jake put his hands on Bella's cheeks, eyeing her with a serious expression, which melted away when he saw her tears. "Why you cryin', Mommy?"

"_I love you,_" she forced out, voice cracking.

"I love you, too," Jake replied, but he was still frowning. "Mommy, please don't cry."

Bella laughed, blinking back more tears, but a few still escaped.

Jake smiled, then looked over Bella's shoulder at me before whispering, "Mommy, is that your _special friend_?"

Bella turned slightly with Jake still in her arms and smiled at me.

"Tha-at's Edward," she told him. I beamed back at her. _That's my girl._

"Jacob!" I heard a woman's voice call. "Jacob!"

Moments later, a petite woman with dark, short hair appeared at the door, her eyes widening in shock as she let out a loud gasp.

"Oh, my god," she whispered, taking a shaky step forward. Bella lowered Jake to the ground, but he wrapped his arms around her leg, refusing to let go. "It's really you."

"A-Ali-…" Bella managed to say, but before the name was even fully out of her mouth, the woman had rushed forward and thrown her arms around Bella, hugging her tightly.

_Alice._

"I hate you so much," Alice hissed through her tears. "Don't you dare ever do that to me again, or so help me…"

Bella let out a soft sob, squeezing Alice even tighter.

"Oh, God!" Alice cried, pushing Bella back by the shoulders and looking down at her belly. "Oh, my God!"

Alice looked disbelieving, and Bella's expression was suddenly nervous.

"You're having a _baby_," Alice breathed, hand reaching out to stroke the bump. "Father said you were, but… _Oh, Bella._"

"A baby?" Jake asked, eyes full of wonder.

Bella looked down at him and nodded, laughing under her breath as Jake reached forward slowly, like her stomach was the most precious thing in the world.

"Mommy, can I touch him?" he pleaded, hesitating just before his fingers made contact.

"Her," Bella corrected, voice slightly stronger now.

"It's a girl?" Alice whispered, watching as Jake's hands pressed against Bella's dress.

Bella nodded, biting on her bottom lip. Alice smiled happily and brought her hand up to Bella's cheek. "I'm so happy for you."

Bella smiled back at her, but then Alice's brows furrowed as she finally saw me standing behind Bella, her expression now wary. Bella reached behind for my hand and coaxed me forward.

"I'm Edward," I told her nervously.

"You…" I flinched, expecting her to mirror Jasper's reaction when he first met me, but all she said instead was, "You _saved _her."

"I…" I frowned, unsure of what to say.

"_Thank you,_" she breathed, and suddenly I had my arms full and Alice's hair was in my face. "Thank you, Edward."

"Easy, darlin'." My head shot up at Jasper's voice. "Don't break him."

"Sorry," Alice muttered, taking a step back.

"No need," I replied, still shocked. Bella squeezed my hand reassuringly and pulled me tighter behind her as Alice moved to stand closer to Jasper. Jake was still touching Bella's bump, almost transfixed by it.

"Coffee's downstairs," Jasper let us know. "Shall we move somewhere more comfortable?"

Bella hesitated, looking down at Jake, then nodded.

"Come on then." Alice held out her hand to Jake. "Let's go make some hot cocoa."

"But…Mommy?" Jake looked up at Bella, who seemed conflicted between letting Jake go and holding on to him forever.

"Go," I urged softly. "I'll get Emmett and Rose and join you in a sec."

Bella pressed her lips to mine for a moment, then smiled gratefully before taking Jacob's hand and following Alice out the room.

As their footsteps moved away, I let out a long breath to calm myself, suddenly feeling a little overwhelmed by everything. Seeing Bella as part of her old family almost made me feel out of place, but I knew I was where I belonged – with her. It would take me time to adjust, sure, but part of me already adored Jake. He was sweet, and seemed fully prepared to just accept my presence like it was no big deal. The same went for Alice, but how much of that had to do with Jasper, I wasn't sure.

I could handle this.

After giving the bedroom a quick check, I went across the hall and knocked on Rosalie and Emmett's door, calling out that coffee was ready before heading down to join Bella and the others.

I found them in the living room; Bella and Jake on one sofa, while Jasper and Alice were sat on one opposite, leaving another in the middle for Rose and Emmett. It was three sides of a square, with the television making up the fourth side and a table filling the space between. It was cozy but elegant, much like the rest of the house, and I stood there for a moment, listening to Jake tell Bella about school until she ruffled his hair affectionately.

"_Mom!_" Jake protested with a pout, pushing her hand away and fixing his hair again. Bella smiled widely, then turned her head in my direction, almost like she knew I was there.

"Hey," I said softly, moving into the room and sitting down beside her. She immediately took my hand and pulled me close, our thighs pressing together as I kissed the top of her head. As I glanced up, I saw Alice's face turn soft, a small smile gracing her lips.

"Edward, do you like _Cars?"_ Jake asked, climbing into Bella's lap and staring at me inquisitively.

"_Cars?_" I wondered, unsure what he meant. Bella laughed under her breath and curled her arm round Jake, like it was the most natural movement in the world.

"Lightning McQueen?" Jake raised an eyebrow. "Mater?"

"I…" I looked to Bella for help, but she just smirked and shrugged.

Jake let out an exaggerated sigh, reminding me so much of Bella it was hard to remember he was only her 'adopted' son. "Momma Alice, can we watch it?"

"I don't know if…" Alice looked at Jasper, her eyes questioning. He gave her a meaningful look.

"The grown-ups need to talk soon, honey," Alice sighed. "I don't think…"

"That can wait?" I said softly. Bella squeezed my hand. "After dinner, maybe?"

I shot a meaningful glance at Jake, and Jasper nodded in understanding. _Talking would be easier without Jake here._

"_Please?" _Jake begged, oblivious to what was left unsaid.

"Sure," Alice agreed after a moment. "Jasper, honey, shall we go get it?"

I caught the look that flickered between them, but tried not to focus on it too much. Instead, as they stood from the sofa, I turned my full attention to Bella, who was more relaxed than she had been in days.

"I love _Cars,"_ Jake told me excitedly. "When Mommy's baby's born, do you think she'll like it too?"

I laughed quietly. "I'm sure she will."

His brow furrowed slightly. "If Mommy is my mommy, and Mommy is the baby's mommy too, will she be my sister?"

He looked between me and Bella, expression hopeful.

"Yeah," I assured him, smiling. "Of course."

"And you'll be my daddy, right?" Jake wondered. My chest tightened suddenly, and my mouth fell open, but no words came out.

"Yes," Bella whispered, eyes slightly teary as she turned to look at me. "Yes, he w-will."

"That's so cool!" Jake grinned toothily. "Maya at school has two mommies, and Ryan has two daddies and mommy, but I have three mommies _and_ three daddies now."

My brow creased in confusion, and it took me a moment to work out who his third parents were… Billy and his wife, the ones who had been close to Bella's dad – Jake's birth parents.

"You're a lucky boy, aren't you?" Alice said too cheerfully as she and Jasper came back into the room, closely followed by Emmett and Rosalie. She looked a little strained, but acted like nothing was wrong as she put the disk in and waited for the film to load up.

Bella leaned into my side as Jake snuggled up to her, and I forgot all about the tension on Alice's face until a little while later, when we were all sat round the table for dinner.

Alice had made a simple, but delicious, lasagna, and all of us aside from Bella made light small talk as we ate. Nobody dared breach the topic we all knew had to be spoken about at some point, but it seemed like none of us really cared, either. Jake had pulled his chair close to Bella's and captivated her attention, never letting her focus on one of us for more than a minute before drawing her into conversation with him again.

It made me smile to see her look so happy; her eyes lit up every time he spoke to her, but even though I tried to focus on that joy, my gaze was constantly drawn to Alice. The same tension from before had only grown throughout dinner, making the conversation strained at points, but nobody had called her out on it yet. It could have been me misreading things, but she seemed on edge, more than the rest of us, though I couldn't place why.

When she excused herself to get dessert, I took my chance. Muttering something about needing to use the bathroom in Bella's ear, I slipped out the room and quickly made my way into the kitchen, where Alice was stood by the window with her arms crossed.

"What's wrong?" I asked her. She startled at the sound of my voice, then turned to face me, fixing a smile on her face.

"Nothing," she protested, moving to the freezer and pulling out a tub of ice cream.

"You're a worse liar than Bella."

Alice laughed. "Bella's actually pretty good at lying… but you already knew that."

I frowned, taken aback by the sudden hostility. "Wow, Alice."

"I'm sorry, that was uncalled for."

"Kinda," I agreed. Alice sighed softly, then busied her hands with getting an ice cream scoop out a drawer.

"I thought she was dead, you know." She turned and set the scoop on the counter, taking a moment to calm herself. "She wrote me this letter before she left, and I knew what she was going to do, but… When Carlisle told me what had happened, that she had called Code Black? I convinced myself I was never going to see her again."

"Alice…"

"I thought I would have to raise Jake, that I would have to explain to him that yet another parent had died on him, but now she's here, and…" She gestured to her stomach, brow furrowed deeply. "She's pregnant. Do you know how fucking weird that is for me? To think she's dead, only to find out she's actually creating a new life inside her?"

I didn't know – all I would have felt upon hearing that was relief, not weirdness, had I been in her shoes.

"She is my _best friend,"_ Alice told me softly, "and I am so happy she's here, that she's safe, but… When I look at her, it's like she's not my Bella anymore, and I… I know I'm not making sense, that I sound like I'm not happy to see her – and I am, trust me – but… She hasn't even _spoken_ to me."

"When we first got her back, she couldn't speak for days," I told her. "She's not refusing to speak to _you_. She's barely able to talk to anybody.

"She spoke to Jake," Alice pointed out. "But she's hardly looked at me since I hugged her."

"She hadn't spoken in three days until we arrived," I told her. "Even to me."

Alice seemed surprised at that.

"She shuts down sometimes," I continued. "But you'll relearn how to read her, just like I did."

"I've been trying, but… I just wanna hug her and talk to her, you know? I want _my_ Bella back."

"She's still there," I promised. "It's just complicated."

"You must think I'm an awful person," Alice said sadly. "I sound so _selfish._"

"I know it must be hard for you to see her like this," I replied, trying to comfort her a little. "But don't take it personally. She has changed, but she's still Bella. Just give her time."

"I have," Alice protested, eyes filling with tears.

"We've only been here a few hours, Alice," I countered. "Look, I don't know how much Jasper told you about Seattle, but until then? She was doing amazingly well. After what happened… She's taken a few steps back. So give her a chance, okay?"

Alice looked down at her hands, which were turning the ice cream scoop over repeatedly. After a moment, she frowned.

"Did she really kill Alec?" she wondered.

I hesitated, then nodded. She took a moment, then looked up at me.

"She always feels guilty," Alice breathed, seeming to understand more. "She puts the blame on herself, even if they deserve it, and if what Jasper told me about her… _time_ in the compound is true…"

"It was worse than he told you," I said softly. "What she went through is unimaginable, and she's having nightmares about what she did to the twins in Seattle."

"She can be her own worst enemy," Alice muttered. "Probably regrets that you witnessed it, and hates herself for inflicting that pain on someone else, even if they were the one who did it to her first."

"Seems like you know her as well as I do." My lips curved up into a small smile.

She looked at me strangely, then let out a sad sigh. "Not anymore."

Grabbing the ice cream and scoop from the counter, she strode out the kitchen and back into the dining room. I followed quickly after her, and carefully took my seat as she put the dessert in the center of the table with a forced smile on her face.

"Alright, Jake, it's getting late," she said, keeping her tone light. "Bed time."

"But Momma, ice cre-" Jake began to protest.

"No, honey," Alice said firmly.

"Alice," Jasper began, but a sharp look cut him off.

"Come on, Jake, time to go," she insisted. "Say goodnight."

"Goodnight," Jake muttered miserably, climbing down from his seat. He shot a desperate look at Bella, who looked just as confused as he did.

"Mommy, will you come too?"

Bella looked up almost nervously at Alice and opened her mouth to speak, but no sound came out.

"Please?" Jake begged.

Bella swallowed audibly, glancing at me for reassurance when Alice didn't say anything to accept or reject her. I smiled and tilted my head in the direction of the door. She hesitated, then nodded and took Jake's hand, allowing herself to be pulled into the hallway with a disapproving Alice following close behind.

"I'll show you my room, Mommy!"

As Jake's once again excited voice faded away, the tension in the room only amplified, leaving us a little lost for what to say.

"That was…" Emmett began, but trailed off when Jasper let out a heavy sigh, rubbing his fingers across his forehead.

"Alice is…" He swallowed. "Conflicted."

"About what?" Rose wondered. "She's got her best friend back – what's there to be conflicted about?"

"When she found out what happened, she didn't take it well," Jasper explained. "Then when I went to help you guys, she was desperate to see Bella, begged me to take her too, and when she finally saw her, I think she was expecting things to be exactly the same as they were before Bella left."

Emmett huffed a laugh. "Sounds like Alice."

"Didn't she know what Bella went through?" Rose asked incredulously. "No offense intended, Jasper, but surely she must have realized…"

"I know," Jasper sighed. "But… she's Alice. She doesn't always see the bad when she's hoping for the good."

A silence settled over us, but it wasn't a comfortable one – we were all straining to hear what was happening upstairs.

"Bella does seem a little better, though," Rosalie said quietly after a minute, toying with the edge of her plate.

"That's because of Jake," I told her softly, sitting back in my chair and sighing. Rosalie nodded in understanding, then glanced at Jasper and Emmett before catching my gaze again.

"Has she said anything yet?" she asked, her expression betraying her concern.

"Not much," I replied. "But after what happened in Seattle…"

"I did expect it," Rosalie confessed. "But when she… To Alec… I didn't expect _that_."

"Rose…" I murmured. She put a hand up to silence me.

"I get _why_ she did it," she continued. "But when Emmett was going to… _handle_ Jane?" Emmett shifted uncomfortably, fingers tracing across Rose's shoulder as she spoke. "I couldn't watch, because I didn't want to see him be so violent, especially towards a woman, but… I wish I hadn't seen Bella do what she did to Alec, either."

"That wasn't her," I replied. "Not really."

"I know." She swallowed audibly. "But she scared me, Edward."

"She would never hurt you," Emmett assured her, frowning. Surely Rosalie knew that?

"That's not…" Rosalie sighed in frustration. "She scared me because it reminded me of when I killed Royce. The power I felt… That darkness? It felt _good._ And if Bella felt like that…"

"You've heard her screaming, Rose," I reminded her. "Every night, she dreams about what happened, but in the dream, she doesn't stop. Her nightmare is that she couldn't reign herself in and killed Jane like she wanted to."

Rosalie's expression softened into one of sadness.

"That power she felt? It scared her, too."

Rose nodded, then tugged her bottom lip between her teeth.

"She knows we're worried about her, right?" she asked. "I know we don't talk much anymore… but I hope she doesn't think that's because we don't care. Because we do."

"She knows," I replied. "But I think maybe she feels guilty for doing what she did when you were in the room, and now it's hard for her to be around you. She was so close to stepping over that line…"

"But she didn't." Emmett. "Edward, I know you're the best at understanding her, but maybe hearing the truth from a friend might help too? She needs to know we don't blame her."

I sighed, nodding. The transition from meaningless chatter to deep conversation was draining. "I can't speak for her – if she doesn't want to listen, I can't make her, but I agree. It might help her."

"I know you don't know us," he interjected. "But I like to think you trust us at least a little. So maybe we should all try and talk, to reconnect, before all Hell breaks loose again."

I hesitated, which Emmett mistook for protest.

"I'm not saying we stop planning," he clarified. "I just know that Rose and I are tired… and Jasper, I know you must be, too."

Jasper shrugged.

"So what's the harm?" Emmett continued. "Peter won't be here for a few days anyway, and we all need to breathe. But more importantly… Bella needs to be a mom again. She needs to recover."

"I agree," Jasper said softly. "But once Peter gets here, we need to focus. Time is not our friend, here."

"Edward?"

Our heads flicked round to the door, where Alice was waiting, cheeks slightly damp.

"I think Bella wants you."

"Did she say anything?" I wondered, standing up from my seat.

Alice shook her head. "No, but… I'm not you. I don't understand her like you do. She… She's crying."

"Fuck," I muttered, then rushed past Alice and hurried up the stairs two at a time, panic welling in my chest.

I found her in our bedroom, sitting on the bed with both hands curved protectively over her stomach, head tilted back and eyes closed as tears spilled down her cheeks.

"Baby?" I croaked, pushing the door half shut behind me as I rushed to crouch in front of her, hands instinctually covering hers. "What's wrong?"

Bella let out a soft sob, then opened her eyes and looked down at me, a smile breaking out across her face as she entwined our fingers and held them tightly to her stomach. I stared at her, searching for some indication of what was happening, but then… I felt the slightest movement between my fingertips.

"What the…" I frowned, staring at my fingers.

"Kicking," she whispered. "I thought, b-before… I felt s-s-something, but… you feel that?"

I nodded, amazed. "Just."

Bella breathed out a happy laugh, meeting my gaze. The smile on her face was breathtaking.

"Edward," she sighed, then reached up with one hand to cup my cheek. "She's kicking."

I felt myself smile, utterly amazed. "Alice said-"

"She d-doesn't underst-stand why I-" She flinched, throat closing up.

"Hey," I soothed, pressing my forehead to hers. I felt Bella smile sadly.

" I'm sorry," she croaked. "I'm tr-trying."

"It's emotions," I murmured. "Whenever you feel anything bad." I kissed her, just barely a touch of lips. "So focus on the good."

She nodded and closed her eyes, sliding the hand on my cheek into my hair as the other still pressed my fingers to her stomach, even though Elizabeth's kicks seemed to have died down.

"I love you," she breathed after a moment.

"I love you, too," I sighed, pressing another chaste kiss to her lips.

"Thank you." The words were whispers against my mouth. "For keeping me _here_."

I kissed her again, more deeply this time but just as soft, unable to understand why she felt the need to thank me. I wasn't willing to argue with her, though. Instead, I simply sighed as she leaned closer, her fingers curling in my hair as she tilted her head and coaxed my lips to part with her own.

"Mommy?"

At the sound of Jake's unsure voice, Bella pulled back and looked over my shoulder as Jake pushed open the door and quietly padded into the room.

"Yes, sweetheart?" she managed to say, reaching out a hand for him as I stood up and moved to the side. Jake hesitated for just a moment, then almost ran into her arms, wrapping himself tightly around her.

"I'm scared," he told her sadly. Bella swallowed audibly.

"You're okay, honey," she assured him, leaning her cheek against the side of his head.

"Can I stay with you?" he pleaded against her neck. Bella brought a hand up to cup the back of his head and closed her eyes, breathing him in.

"Of course," she promised, then opened her eyes to catch my gaze. I smiled at her in understanding before moving towards the door to give them the moment together.

Bella's free hand shot out and grabbed my wrist. "Stay?"

I paused, unsure of myself.

"Please?" Jake said, turning his head to look at me. "You can keep me safe, too."

My heart squeezed painfully at the worried look in his eyes. He thought we'd leave him, that Bella would disappear and he would be alone again.

"Okay," I breathed, nodding at them both. Bella's hand dropped to mine and held on tight in a silent thank you.

Happier now, Jake climbed off Bella's lap and onto the bed, settling himself beneath the covers before looking up at us expectantly. Bella pushed herself to her feet and moved over to the drawers, pulling out one of my t-shirts and a pair of sweatpants before tossing me something to wear myself.

Bella hurried to the bathroom to get changed, getting herself ready in half the time it usually too. As she crossed the room to the bed, she pulled her hair back into a messy ponytail, then carefully got in under the covers and shifted across towards Jake.

He rolled onto his side to face her, fingers curling in her t-shirt, and I smiled to myself as she wrapped her arms around him before excusing myself to the bathroom to change and brush my teeth.

When I came back a few minutes later, I ran my hand through my hair nervously, noticing how Jake had already fallen half asleep in Bella's arms. I almost felt like an intruder, but then she looked over her shoulder at me and smiled. I smiled back at her, then closed the distance between us and climbed in behind her, rolling onto my side so I could lay one arm across her waist.

I kept some distance between our bodies, not wanting to overstep any boundaries, but Bella reached back and pulled me closer, tilting her head so she could kiss me. Once we parted, she gave me a small smile, then closed her eyes and let her head fall back to the pillow, her entire body relaxing.

I watched her and Jake's breathing eventually even out, and felt my own body start sinking into sleep too. I didn't fight it, even though part of me wanted to.

Instead, I just let myself settle fully behind Bella, nose barely brushing her neck, and closed my eyes.

Bella didn't have nightmares that night. Neither did I.


	14. Demons

**A/N: Don't worry – I haven't forgotten about the story or given up! I just was very busy with my uni assignment and work work these past few weeks so wasn't able to write as much as I wanted. I'm one of these people who have a little ritual for when I write, so if I know I won't be able to just sit here at my computer and let it flow, I don't even bother trying.**

**This chapter is shorter and a little less eventful than previous ones, BUT… The action is about to kick off again, and when it does, I hope you'll understand why I let this one slow the pace.  
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**As always, I'm going to try and reply to your reviews for the previous chapter, but thought you'd prefer a new chapter sooner than a reply, so have done things a bit backwards this time. Thanks to everyone who's followed, favourited and reviewed Love you all.**

**Enjoy! xx**

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><p><em>Your eyes, they shine so bright - I want to save that light.<em>

_I can't escape this now unless you show me how._

_When you feel my heat, look into my eyes;_

_It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide._

_Don't get too close - it's dark inside;_

_It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide._

Demons – Imagine Dragons

That sleep pattern continued for the next few nights; Jake would be put to bed by Alice and Bella, then come and crawl under the sheets next to Bella when we eventually came to bed ourselves. It was comfortable, and neither Bella nor I had slept so well in weeks, so when Alice had insisted Jake sleep in his own bed that Sunday, all three of us protested.

Alice pointed out that Jake needed to go to school the next day and it would be easier to wake him and get him ready if he was in his own room. It was a valid point, of course, and even Bella agreed it would be better, but I knew her reasons for wanting Jake to stay with us were born out of fear of nightmares as well as a desire to be closer to him.

Eventually, though, logic won out, and Bella put Jake to bed as usual while I stayed downstairs with the others to discuss the plan for the week. We'd been good until then, only talking about our situation when it was necessary and acting like things were normal despite what was happening outside the four walls of the house.

"Peter's due to arrive between late tomorrow morning and early afternoon, depending on how quickly they're able to make it in, but either way I think he and Charlotte will probably want to set up and relax before we get into the hardcore stuff," Jasper explained.

Emmett nodded. "Has he had any luck hacking into _The Agency_'s system yet?"

"Not quite," Jasper admitted. "But he thinks it should only take another day or so to be able to get through. If he can't…"

"Direct connection," I muttered. It was something we were worried about; hacking into the _Volturi _network would be almost impossible, so we'd settled for trying home turf instead. If we could get Marcus' location from the _Agency _servers, there was a chance he may be able to help us, but if we couldn't, we were relying on _The Agency_ having stored other intel we could use on their system.

And if that failed… Somebody would have to go to Montana and try and physically breach the system in the compound.

"With any luck, we won't have to resort to that," Jasper sighed. "But I want a contingency plan just in case."

"The girls should stay here," Emmett immediately said, and I agreed with him. "You're well enough protected in this house."

"Alice could help us, though," I pointed out. "If she could contact Carlisle…"

"He wouldn't pick up the phone," Jasper replied. "Their relationship is strained at the moment to say the least."

"He picked up for Bella," I countered. "And in his eyes, she fucked up even more than Alice ever has."

"That's a fair point," Emmett agreed.

Jasper laughed and shook his head. "When Bella was first rescued, don't you think Alice tried contacting Carlisle to try and find out her location?"

I opened my mouth, then closed it again.

"They had a fight about it," Jasper continued. "And things were said that… Well, let's just say we're going to have to rule Carlisle out for now."

"Fuck," I muttered.

Jasper nodded in half-agreement. "So… if we have to go back to Montana, as a last resort…"

"I'll have to go," I told them. "No way will anyone be able to navigate round there without me."

"You could guide someone remotely, though. Use comms?" Emmett suggested.

"The only one who would know exactly what they were doing would be Peter, so he would have to go," I argued. "He would be alone if I wasn't here, and the risk wouldn't be worth it. He'd have no way in undetected, for one."

"We'd need Marcus to do it," Jasper realized. "If we could get him to go there…"

"It's possible," I sighed. "But that would require us hacking the _Agency_ network first to find his location."

"Damn it," Emmett cursed. We were going in circles again.

"Marcus will be the key to all this. With him, we can access _Volturi _servers, track James and Aro…" I let out a long exhale. "If we can't find him, then honestly, I think we'll have nothing."

"We will find him. And when we do, he can get us that access, and we'll have all the evidence needed to bring them down," Jasper added. "We hand it to the right people, and they can figure the logistics of taking apart everything. As for Aro and James…"

"They're non-negotiable," I reminded him. "They're dead regardless."

"I know," Jasper replied. "And I agree. They're both too much of a threat."

"So we take them down first," Emmett suggested. "Once we're in, we track them down, kill them, then expose the rest of the organization."

"Without Aro, they'd realize what was going on and scramble or, worse, someone else would rise in his place and we'd end up with a hydra on our hands," I countered. "Besides, it may make things tougher on the logistics side of exposing the organization without any one person held up as the leader."

We kept going over different options for a while, but eventually we came to the conclusion that until we knew the extent of what Peter could get for us, we were just clutching at straws, so we decided to finally call it a night.

Jasper stayed downstairs to lock up while Emmett joined Rosalie upstairs, where she was talking with Alice. I headed up to Jake's room, moving as silently as possible so I didn't disturb him.

To my surprise, the door was still wide open, and when I looked inside to see why, I let out a soft laugh.

Bella had fallen asleep while sitting on Jake's bed, story book open on her lap and Jake's head resting on her chest. She looked so peaceful - I couldn't bring myself to wake her, so I just stood there for a moment, watching her.

Over the past few days, she had been trying her best to speak around the house, and although she still had moments of silence, most of the time she'd been successful. Seeing Jake and Alice had been the balm she'd so desperately needed, giving her a piece of her old life back and tethering her to the present at the same time. The baby helped, too – she had been pretty active, kicking Bella in bursts at random intervals. I couldn't feel the movements from the outside very easily, but I could always tell when she was kicking from the blissful smile on Bella's face.

Motherhood suited her in a way I couldn't quite explain, and spending time with Jake proved just how amazing she was at it. She would light up when he spoke to her, all tension draining from her body, and as I watched her pull him closer to her body in her sleep, I couldn't help but smile to myself.

Deciding to leave them be, I carefully pulled the door until it was almost shut before heading into our room to change and get ready for bed.

It was strange, trying to sleep without Bella beside me. The bed felt empty and cold, the room suddenly too big, and I tossed and turned for what felt like hours. When I finally managed to drift into a restless sleep, visions of James raiding the house started to flood in, and I was trapped in a nightmare so real that I wasn't even aware I had been dreaming when I startled awake.

I sat bolt upright and flung my arm out to cover Bella, James' voice echoing in my ear, then felt my blood run cold as I touched cold sheets instead of her warm body.

I threw the sheets from my legs and grabbed my firearm from the bedside table, hands shaking violently as I tried to flip off the safety. With my own frantic heartbeat roaring in my ears, I stumbled to the door in the dark, only to have it slowly creak open before I could touch the handle.

I ducked behind the door as it opened, waiting until the intruder was just past the threshold before wrenching them by the arm and forcing them against the door, pushing it shut with their weight as I pressed the end of the gun against their temple and wrapped my free hand around their throat.

"Edward!"

My gaze met terrified brown eyes and I froze, still lost in the nightmare.

"It's me!" _Bella._

The sound that left my mouth was half-whimper, half-groan as her fingers came up to cover the hand I still had at her throat, though my grip had loosened in shock.

"Baby, it was just a dream," she croaked, forcing my fingers away just far enough for her own to slip beneath and hold them tightly.

Horrified, I recoiled from her completely and backed away, hands held out in front of me as I tried to comprehend what had just happened.

"I…" I barely managed to keep hold of the gun, I was trembling so much.

"Easy…" Bella's warm hands covered mine and took the gun from my grip, turning the safety back on before she moved away to put it on the bedside table again.

"Edward." She was in front of me again, hands cupping my cheeks. I couldn't meet her gaze. "Hey… Look at me."

"I'm sorry," I managed to gasp, eyes burning.

"It's okay," she soothed, gently tipping my face up so I was forced to look her in the eyes. "You are okay."

"Are you hurt?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"I'm fine," she promised.

"And the baby?" I clenched my hands into fists, suddenly furious with myself. _What if I'd cut off her air supply, what if-_

"She's a little scared and kicking up a storm," she murmured. "But we are both _fine_."

"I was dreaming that…" I closed my eyes, unable to finish.

"You don't have to explain," she interrupted, shaking her head. She tried to kiss me, but I turned my head, ashamed of myself.

With a soft sigh she took both my hands in hers and started to pull me towards the bed. After a moment of resistance, I let her guide me to sit on the mattress, and was surprised when, instead of sitting beside me, she sat astride my lap, bringing us as close as possible.

Even as she curled into me, I couldn't bring myself to touch her.

"Hey." She sounded angry now, and as she brought one hand back up to my cheek, I forced myself to meet her gaze, preparing for the onslaught. "You promised you wouldn't do this anymore. Not with me."

_I know._

I raised my hands, hesitating, but when my fingertips finally brushed against her it was like a dam had burst, and I pulled her in closer, wrapping my arms tightly round her as I buried my face in her neck.

"He had you," I breathed, clenching my eyes shut against the hazy visions that returned. "He was… He…"

"Shhh," she soothed sadly, then carefully pulled back just far enough for our lips to meet. As she kissed me, I moaned at the warmth, curling my fingers into the fabric of her t-shirt.

"It wasn't real," she murmured against my lips. "I'm right here."

"I woke up, and-"

"I was in Jake's room," she sighed, realizing. "You should have woken me up before you went to bed, baby."

"You looked peaceful," I told her softly as she pressed her forehead to mine. "I didn't want to wake you."

"I always sleep better when you're there. You know that." She exhaled a shaky breath, then muttered, "I had a nightmare too."

My guilt increased tenfold.

"Bella, I'm so sorry," I whispered. "I thought Jake would-"

"He's not _you_," she breathed, then pushed herself back and brought her free hand up to gently run through my hair. I leaned into her touch, comforted by the feel of her fingertips against my scalp. "He calms me, but not like you do."

I swallowed past the sudden emotion in my throat. I'd honestly thought she'd been sleeping better because of Jake; I hadn't factored myself into the equation. It made what had happened even worse somehow, knowing it could have been avoided.

"Edward…" she murmured quietly, bringing me back to her. "I love you."

I smiled weakly. "I love you, too. And I'm so sorry."

"Just wake me up next time, okay?" she insisted, then pressed her lips to mine again. I let my hands grip her hips as she leaned closer, her baby bump pressing against my stomach.

As she teased my mouth open with the tip of her tongue, her fingers slipped round to play with the hair at the nape of my neck and her other hand moved to rest against my chest, right over my still pounding heart. A small noise of disapproval escaped her when she met cloth instead of bare skin, but she quickly reached down and pushed her hand underneath my t-shirt instead, fingertips smoothing across my abs.

"Bella…" I moved one hand to stop hers, but she kept sliding it upwards anyway, bringing my t-shirt with it. "Bella, don't…"

I hissed in a breath as her lips fell to my exposed chest, kissing over my heart like she could will it to calm that way. My hands fluttered at her hips as my mind warred with itself. I was disgusted with myself for what I'd done, but I craved her closeness at the same time, needing it to wipe the darkness out.

My body made the decision for me by letting her pull my arms free of the fabric as she brought it over my head before dropping it to the floor. I shivered at the sudden chill I felt, knowing it was probably more subconscious than anything, then gasped at the heat of her body pressing against mine the moment she pulled her own t-shirt off.

With her left only in her bra and pajama bottoms, I had a clear view of Bella's pale skin and the faint red marks that marred her neck, and cursed myself for hurting her, even if only a little.

I leaned forward and kissed her neck, bringing my arms up to hold her as she let herself tip back against my hands, trusting me to support her even after what had happened. As my lips brushed a particularly sensitive spot, her head fell back and a soft moan escaped her, her fingers curling in my hair to keep me close.

The hand that had been on my chest moved to grip my shoulder, and the feel of her nails lightly trailing over my skin made me shudder. Once I had kissed my way across her neck, she brought her head back up and pressed her lips to mine again, softly this time, almost as if she was reassuring me she was okay.

Moving slow enough not to startle me, she shifted back far enough to stand up before pushing her pajama bottoms off her hips and stepping out of them. She reached behind her to unhook her bra, then let that fall to join the rest of her clothes, leaving her bare before me.

"You're beautiful," I told her, eyes taking every part of her in, from her slightly mussed up hair to her growing breasts and the healing scars on her thigh.

Her eyes shined with emotion as she smiled brightly, always a beacon of light in the darkness that was ever present at the edges of my mind.

"I love you, too," she whispered.

* * *

><p>The next morning, Bella stayed as close to me as possible, not even leaving my side when it was time to say goodbye to Jake before Alice dropped him off at school. I kept unconsciously seeking her out, hands constantly touching some part of her body; a physical and mental anchor.<p>

My nightmare had shaken me up, and the sad look I kept catching on Rosalie's face made it apparent the others had heard what had happened, too. Nobody mentioned it directly, though, and I appreciated the illusion of privacy it gave me to process everything.

As Peter and Charlotte's arrival time approached, everybody began to get a little antsy, checking out the windows at shorter intervals, glancing at the clock… When Alice came home from the school, we all jumped a little in our seats on the sofas, only to semi-relax again when we realized it was a false alarm.

Surprisingly, Bella seemed to be almost completely calm, but I quickly came to the conclusion that was down to her trust in Jasper and, by extension, Peter. Trust I was beginning to share. And, fuck, if_ that _realization wasn't a little shocking in itself.

At around eleven, Alice offered to make coffee for everyone and, after a moment of hesitation, Bella excused herself from the room as well. I watched her go with trepidation, unsure how well things would pan out between them, but Jasper's expression confirmed what I already knew; I had to let them hash it out. Whatever _it_ was that was truly the heart of the problem.

"Is there anything I can help with when they arrive?" Rosalie asked after a moment, drawing mine and Jasper's attention back to the room.

"I think Peter will just want to set up his laptops and network so everything's in place, but Charlotte will probably appreciate some company. They don't really leave their safe-house much, so she's a little quiet," Jasper replied.

Rosalie smiled.

"The two of you will get along well, I think." Jasper looked down at his hands, suddenly contemplative. "She's been through some stuff, too."

"Nothing like trauma to bring people together," Rosalie joked, and for once there was no sadness of discomfort hidden beneath it. Emmett laughed uneasily, but Jasper let out a full, loud chuckle, in on something I had no idea about.

"That's actually how they met," he told her, then turned his head towards the window, back straightening. "But that's a story for another day, I think."

"They're here."

I looked up at Alice, who was now standing in the doorway beside Bella. They were closer than before, and when they stepped further into the room, I noticed the ever-present tension between them that ran beneath the surface had dissipated.

Bella smiled as she approached, hands reaching out for mine. I heard Alice and Jasper leave to answer the door, but my focus was on Bella. She seemed… lighter.

"Okay?" I murmured softly. She nodded, pushing up on her toes to kiss me lightly.

"We're fine," she promised, then squeezed my hands tightly. "You okay?"

"I think so," I replied honestly. I looked up at the sound of the others coming back into the room, then smiled down at Bella again. "Show time."

Bella smirked before turning to face the two new arrivals, one hand slipping from mine as she did so. She tangled our fingers together and let out a nervous breath, then smiled brightly as a tall man with white-blonde hair – _Peter_, my mind corrected – came forward to kiss her cheek.

"Bella," he said softly. "It's good to see you again."

"Thank you for coming," Bella murmured. "And thank you for everything in Seattle."

Peter nodded, then turned to me and reached out his hand. I shook it firmly.

"Edward." He twisted his torso slightly, and wrapped his arm around Charlotte, who was just as white-blonde as he was, but over a foot shorter. "This is Charlotte."

Charlotte smiled almost timidly, leaning into Peter's side for comfort. She was clearly unsettled, and I wondered if that was a consequence of what Jasper had hinted at.

"How are you, Charlotte?" Bella asked gently. I recognized her tone – it was the same one the doctors in Oregon had used to speak to her when she first woke up.

"Okay," Charlotte replied, voice so quiet, I could barely hear her. Peter dropped a kiss to the top of her head, then turned his head round to look at Jasper and Alice.

"Where can I get set up?" he asked. "The system will take a while to put in place, but as soon as it's done, we can get started."

"We cleared the dining room for you," Jasper replied. "Extension cables and stands are already in place."

Peter nodded.

"Rose and I can help move your stuff into Jake's room if you'd like, Charlotte?" Alice offered. I frowned, but Bella squeezed my hand tightly to silence me.

Charlotte bit down on her bottom lip and looked to Peter for reassurance. He held her gaze for a moment, and then Charlotte was nodding, leaning in to him briefly before crossing the room to where Rosalie and Alice were waiting.

And just like that, the room was emptied as fast as it had been filled, leaving only me and Bella behind.

"They don't mess around, huh?" I joked lightly.

Bella let out a quiet laugh, then turned to face me, bringing the hand that wasn't holding mine up to my chest.

"No, they don't," she sighed. "I know they may seem abrupt, but I think they just want this over with. Same as us."

"The sooner the better," I agreed.

Bella hummed, then pushed up on her toes to kiss me softly, fingers curling against my shirt as I caught her bottom lip between both of mine. When she slowly let herself drop back down, I instinctually swayed closer, seeking out another kiss, and she smiled to herself.

"So…" She let out a long breath. "I spoke to Alice."

She casually began to trace shapes against my chest with her fingers, and I let my own reach out to touch her hip.

"And?"

"I think…" She frowned, then continued, "I think we'll be okay. She's still upset with me, but she seemed to understand better once I explained everything."

"Told you," I breathed, smirking. She smiled up at me, looking a little sheepish.

"I know," she admitted. "But even now, I just… I can't work out what it is, but something feels…"

"Different," I finished for her, letting her know I understood.

"Exactly." Bella let out a long sigh, then shrugged. "Maybe I'm just overthinking it."

"Maybe," I acknowledged. "Or maybe we're so used to something being wrong, we see it everywhere."

Bella nodded against me. "I know we're on the edge of a breakthrough now, but… It feels too good to be real. I'm waiting for something to happen."

"It is real, though," I promised, dropping a kiss to the top of her hair. "All of this?" I gestured around us. "It's real."

As Bella looked up and met my gaze, she trailed her hand up my chest, fingers coming up to graze the scar tissue on my shoulder through my t-shirt.

"I'll ask Charlotte to take a look at this as soon as she's settled," she murmured.

"There's no rush…" I trailed off with a soft moan when her fingers gently began to massage my shoulder.

"We've waited too long for this," she said, tone a complete contrast to her hard expression. "We aren't delaying it any more."

"I just don't want this to get in the way of anything," I admitted.

Over the past few days, I had been doing my best not to overexert it, and had even started to do some of the movements recommended by the physiotherapist we'd seen at the clinic where Bella had her scan. I had seen some improvement already, but knew it would still take time to undo the damage I'd inadvertently caused by letting it heal badly. Time we may not have spare.

"Edward…" Bella chastised. We'd had this discussion before.

"I know," I breathed, pressing my lips lightly to hers. "I'm sorry."

She gave me a stern look, which quickly softened. "I don't mean to push you. I just worry."

"That's okay." I kissed her again, lingering this time. "Sometimes I need it."

She smiled slightly, then slid her arms around my waist and pulled me closer, resting her head against my chest. I wrapped my arms around her just as tightly and kissed the top of her head, content to simply stand there with her for a moment.

After a few minutes, Bella let out a gentle sigh and pulled back a little, meeting my gaze. I smiled at her, and the one she gave me in return was enough to settle the nervous energy that had begun to sink in due to Peter's arrival.

With one last kiss, Bella dropped her hand to mine and twined our fingers before leading us out to join the boys in the dining room.

Had I known then that that would be our last moment of peace, I would never have let her go.


End file.
